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Originally posted by: Miss Information
"Here we go: Miss I apologizes for being a bit late with tonight's award, but she was obliged to be at a new event sponsored by the Ladies Missionary Society, designed to recruit a younger generation of ladies, primarily housewives, untenurable former faculty members, easily misled ex-graduate students, and other disenfranchised souls. It does so by providing entertainment for their children who have no place to go now that the USM Gulf Coast Daycare facility has closed. There will be a series of outdoor games but the highlight will be tossing of antimacassars, otherwise known as doily frisbee. This activity exercises minds and bodies while also teaching proper etiquette. Nom d'aplomb honorable mention awards go to: Details, devil in (What can I say, except "last name first"...) and a definate truism as anyone trying to organize an antimacassar toss certainly knows, as do those tying to wade through mounds of minutiae. Obi-Wan's Meaner Brother - The committee really liked this post and had all sorts of fun trying to decipher its meaning - seems that the WindTalker program was on the blink and without it the committee was left with no FORCE to guide them. Utopian Express - Did this poster actually refer to taking the Local to Utopia? We are reminded that there are no shortcuts in life, just ask the 17 year government worker or his counterpart the professor. What part of NO don't you understand? Sounds like like Everymom - which in this day and age of political correctness should be changed to Allparent - which brings us back around to posters ultimately being childishly "bellignorant" and we're tired of of fellow posters being called childish so we disqualified the entry. Speaking of disqualified entries, H! SH*T was disqualified by Miss I for barely disguised vulgarity, although Mal and Vic pointed out that a number of folks feel this way. They tried to point out that there is a local reference - the legendary "Oh Sh*t Falls" on Okatoma Creek, so named because it's kind of in a blind spot and those are famous last words. Miss I was insistent that unless we could point out a corresponding board related blindspot that we're missing, it would remain disqualified, and she vows to contact Covington County officials regarding the creek. WindTalkers, would you please pick up your payoff (award) from last week and get the d*** program fixed. Largest University in the World - A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for? Maybe Shelby is an English afficionado after all. Fall enrollment numbers will be sure to tell. Invictus decided to try subterfuge to get the "troll patroll" considered. While arguing long and eloquently for Beauty is in the I of the Betroller, because of it's apt identification of juvenile narcissism as the defining trait of trolls, he plied Mal with more than her customary quota of dewberry brandy. Mal remained staunch at first in her opposition to "those awful troll copy-cats". But Miss Information got in on the game, handed Mal the jug, and made her pitch for Confession is Good for the Troll Somewhere around the seventh or eighth snifter, Mal began to come around to a more sensible viewpoint, and made her own nomination, which Vict and Miss I quickly ratified. <SNARE DRUM /> So, this week's winner is Trollus Detectus in Extremis. The committee was pleased with the return to light humor and the original fun in identifying a play on words. In this case, the poster who played the Troll-O-Meter game with a cute play off the troll who posted stuff in Latin won both our hearts and minds. Dear readers, as you have certainly noticed, we have tried to keep the awards exciting each week by offering new and unannounced categories. (Our critics have suggested that this is really a tactic designed to keep you off balance so you will never know what we'll be rewarding at mid-year but we think Wr. W. and crew are just jealous of our fancy certificate.) This week, in recognition of the increasing number of posse comitati that seem to be turning the website into a wild west show, the committee offers additional recognition to the following: Rumor Killer, Rumor Paramedic, The Good Rumor Man, and Correcting Rumors - all of whom seemed to have formed a new posse we call "Working on a Guru". Some of the more musically inclined among you may catch the reference. For the rest of the world, we provide this link, which courtesy dictates we warn you leads to a server that will log your IP address (just like every other web server on the interneet). Have a good week everyone - last week of summer vacation. Don't forget that your attendance is humbly requested on the 23rd, regrets only please. And now we're off to watch the ladies gymnastics competition on WDAM..."

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With a great deal of sincere humility, we both accept this wonderful honor and offer our heartfelt gratitude to the hard work of Miss I and the committee.

Thank You!

Why Mal, I think you just insulted us. And just yesterday you were defending me. What gives?

Mr. W's #1 Groupie

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Originally posted by: Mr. Wonderful's Central Office
"We've already started looking into Mal's statement. Our risk manager spotted it immediately. In view of the potential damage it has for the entire Mr. Wonderful organization, we referred the matter to our counsel which we have on retainer in NYC. "

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quote:

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Originally posted by: Mr. Wonderful's Central Office
"We've already started looking into Mal's statement. Our risk manager spotted it immediately. In view of the potential damage it has for the entire Mr. Wonderful organization, we referred the matter to our counsel which we have on retainer in NYC. "

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See what a litigious society we have become?  One cannot even jest anymore.  There are prestigious awards (which, as I acknowledged, require eloquence, timeliness and profundity) and then there are very prestigious awards which require a little more...wit, creativity, and sarcasm with an edge (not to mention an "in" with the committee).  Our award is not for everyone, which is why we provide the very tangible certificate as resume padding proof.  Do you provide a certificate Mr. Wonderful?  No?  Case in point.  But I see that my words have stung nonetheless and for that I apologize to you, to Groupie #1, and to the others on the committee.  And, frankly, I would have done so anyway (without the urging of Mr. W's high priced NYC attorneys) simply because it is the right thing to do but now you'll never know that for sure, will you?

OK, Mr. W. you have your people get in touch with my people and we'll let the suits work this out.  Meanwhile, Invictus and Miss I have silenced me.  Sore Loser, you're on your own.  No more career advice or mentoring for you.  Groupie #1, this isn't personal ma cherie and yes I can order from a french menu, at least well enough to distinguish the frog legs from the crow -- usually.