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USM Forum -- Message Board -> AAUP-USM MESSAGE BOARD -> Coming Soon: Report from Ashland, KY
Post Info TOPIC: Coming Soon: Report from Ashland, KY
Interim Adjunct Risk Manager

Date:
Coming Soon: Report from Ashland, KY
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Many of you having been waiting anxiously for a report from Judge Cooley or a member of his entourage. I regret that I am unable to report on the whereabouts of the Judge, his risk mananger, his risk manager's associate, or Mrs. Cooley.

Given this deeply troubling state of affairs, I have had to take matters into my own hands. I have appointed myself Interim Adjunct Risk Manager and have started to undertake the various tasks that I believe the Judge would, if he were able.

First, I set about to investigate the roots of last spring's problems. Last week I visited Ashland Community and Technical College in Ashland, Kentucky. You may recall that Angie Dvorak was the president of ACTC (Ashland Community College merged with Ashland Technical College in 2003) and that it was questions surrounding this position on her resume that resulted in the Stringer-Glamser hearings.

I am currently completing a full report of my findings in Ashland, which will be forthcoming in the next several days. (I'm also waiting to get my photos of ACTC developed--the photo machine at Walgreens was broken this afternoon. I really hope when the Judge finds out about my independent, innovative initiative, he will spring for a digital camera.)

Thank you for your patience,

Interim Adjunct Risk Manager

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Let Freedom Ring

Date:
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Thank you, Interim Adjunct Risk Manager, for taking up the cause.  I am eager to hear what you learn and hopeful that among other things you will get to the bottom of the disappearance of the Judge and his entourage....I am concerned there has been some foul play.....


No Quarter!


 



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Invictus

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Let Freedom Ring
"I am concerned there has been some foul play..... "


I did hear an unsubstantiated rumor that the Judge was diverted earlier this summer to investigate the odor emanating from the Marshall-Durbin plant in East Hattiesburg.

In that case, he may have been the victim of fowl play...



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f7 key

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Interim Adjunct Risk Manager
"You may recall that Angie Dvorak was the president of ACTC (Ashland Community College merged with Ashland Technical College in 2003) and that it was questions surrounding this position on her resume that resulted in the Stringer-Glamser hearings."


No that is not why the hearings came about. It is because a handful of faculty decided to conduct a witch hunt, which subsequently hurt a very nice lady. It is because a few faculty thought they should be the only ones to decide who gets tenure. It is because a very few, but certain, faculty members decided they were better than usm and that they were the only ones that could fix what was wrong at usm. Unfortunately, all they did was hurt usm.


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Rudy Kazootie

Date:
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Shelboo - You're the only one left in the 21st Century to refer to grown-up, professional women as "ladies," so you've blown your cover here, I'm afraid. Go back under your rock, won't you please.

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Interim Adjunct Risk Manager

Date:
Permalink Closed

Update on my report regarding Ashland Community and Technical College:

I got the photos back from Walgreens and they turned out well. My assistant has scanned them, and we are currently editing my face out of them so that I can remain incognito for my next mission. (Those Misssion Impossible guys make it look so easy, but I tell 'ya, it is hard being a risk manager, especially when you're only a volunteer interim adjunct with no previous experience). We hope to have the photos available to you in the next couple of days. I am editing my report for wanton capitalization and unintentional spelling errors.

Once again, thank you for your patience.

Sincerely,

I.A.R.M.

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Queen of Spelling

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Interim Adjunct Risk Manager
"I am editing my report for wanton capitalization and unintentional spelling errors. Once again, thank you for your patience. Sincerely, I.A.R.M."
The Queen thanks you in advance.

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truth4usm/AH

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Interim Adjunct Risk Manager
"Update on my report regarding Ashland Community and Technical College: I got the photos back from Walgreens and they turned out well. My assistant has scanned them, and we are currently editing my face out of them so that I can remain incognito for my next mission. (Those Misssion Impossible guys make it look so easy, but I tell 'ya, it is hard being a risk manager, especially when you're only a volunteer interim adjunct with no previous experience). We hope to have the photos available to you in the next couple of days. I am editing my report for wanton capitalization and unintentional spelling errors. Once again, thank you for your patience. Sincerely, I.A.R.M."
We will anxiously be awaiting your dispatches!

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Machiavelli

Date:
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F7 is exactly on point.  You people think you are so high-minded, but you are nothing more than a few arrogant, pseudo-intellectuals who think you know more than everyone else about everything.  You are desperate to stay where you are because you would never survive in the real world.

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Cooley fan

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Welcome back Machiavelli. Angie, is that you?

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Machiavelli

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Permalink Closed

Sorry to disappoint you Cooley fan.  You will never guess who I am, but Angie I am not.

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Hard-Line

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F7 and Machivelli:


My hat is off to you.  You both hit the nail on the head!


One must wonder what the malcontents will be up to when school starts back.  I guess the halls will be flooded with tears.



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Web Master

Date:
Permalink Closed

Cedrick/Hard-Line/Machiavelli, quit talking to yourself (and Online Prof/F7 key).

__________________
Invictus

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Web Master
"Cedrick/Hard-Line/Machiavelli, quit talking to yourself (and Online Prof/F7 key). "


Remember, talking to oneself is usually considered to be a sign of lunacy.

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