Well, folks, now that you heard our mid-week "backup group" which their agent refers to as  the "Nom d'Ablomb Troica," get ready for the main act. This evening we have some good news: one of the contestants made two (2) - count them - two campus-related statements which take 2nd and 3rd  places in this week's awards. The bad news is that the person who posted those two statements was one of our competitors: Invictus. When the selection committee's final vote came in, Mr. Wonderful's Groupie #1 jumped with joy and squeeled, "Two winning quotes! Invictus is a two timer." The rest of the commitee cautioned  Groupie #1 to hush her mouth because Miss Information would not appreciate such talk.
 
And now for the awards:
 
SECOND  AND THIRD PLACE WINNERS (in no particular order): Invictus & Invictus
 
Invictus, In reference to the merit raise process: "Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love will make it wag its tail."
(Invictus  attributes his statement to Richard "Kinky" Friedman, but Invictus  gets the award for bringing it to our attention).
 
Had Invictus'  statement not been selected, this recognition would have gone to Johnny Mack  who said basically the same thing, but in  less poetic fashion: "Imagine a dog whose master brutally beats him on a regular basis. Imagine that, one day, the master begrudgingly gives the dog a small bone. Do you think the dog will magically forget the years of beatings that have come before just because of that one bone?"
 
Invictus, In reference to university administration: "I  have seen colleges and  universities operate perfectly well without presidents. I have seen divisions & schools operate perfectly well without deans. I have seen departments survive (nay, thrive) without department chairs. But I have never seen a college or university function without students & facutly.
 
HONORABLE MENTION WINNER - (on another campus issue: community goodwill):  P.W. Bryant:  "Van Hook was an affordable, public course that almost any blue-collar duffer could afford and would enjoy playing . . . great in the goodwill department, because it was one more good thing USM gave to the community. In a time where goodwill in the community seems to be at an all time low, it is not clear to me that locating the 'research park' at that site was really a good idea."
 
FIRST PLACE WINNER  (also on an imporant campus issue)  Noel Polk: "Change is not difficult, but chaos is."
 
Congratulations to each and every one of you.