Mr. Wonderful apologizes for being tardy with announcing this week's Quote of the Week  Award, but he spent the entire weekend with a bunch of convenioners who had no regard for accepable rules or standards. Nonetheless, the problem with Mr. Wonderful's #1 Groupie  was resolved by cellphone while Mr. Wonderful was fending off a roving band of loud Karaoke singers. The resolution with #1 Groupie  occurred during a brief period of silence between between a bandana-wearing  woman rendering her version of of Leader of the Pack, and a very shy couple doing their version of The Kendall's  duet Heaven's Just a Sin Away.  
 
As was the case last week, the selection committee's task this week was difficult indeed. these quotes, while not the winners,  really attracted the committee's full attention and deserve very special mention:
 
A. Lulu's Back in Town: "Don't confuse USM 2004  with the real USM.
 
B. Foot Soldier: "I'm going out tomorrow to buy a new suit and start applying for administrative jobs. Maybe I can get an extreme makeover and have my ethical sensabilities removed beforehand, so I can be sure to get the job."
 
And now for the finalists:
 
THIRD PLACE  - Anna: "No truly world class institution speaks about it being world class. It sounds tacky. When you hear the shout that 'we're world class,' it's a pretty safe bet that it's all smoke and mirrors."
 
SECOND PLACE: - Cossack: ". . . it takes someone with clout (national reputation) to stand up to bad administrators. Since the preponderance of administers at USM are not stellar, a faculty member like Professor Polk or Professor Stringer are even more valuable to the rest of the faculty. Without such faculty, USM will sink to the level of many of the directional universities in our neighboring states."
 
FIRST PLACE: - Present Professor - ". . . without a shared sense of something visionary and a pragmatic program to achieve it, we are all a bunch of erratic satellites orbiting around a sun. At USM, the personality of the president has replaced a program. Everything and everyone is subsumed to sucking up to or trying to create as much distance as possible from that personality and the little planets that spin around it."
 
Congratulations, Present Professor, the August 1, 2004 le Citation de la Semaine Award belongs to you! To the others: My, you sure have a way with words!