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USM Forum -- Message Board -> AAUP-USM MESSAGE BOARD -> Latest rumor: SFT recruited by another college!
Post Info TOPIC: Latest rumor: SFT recruited by another college!
Punster

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Latest rumor: SFT recruited by another college!
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quote:

Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
"As we all know, if SFT *were* dumb enough to fire Noel Polk, I'm sure there would be many world-class universities waiting in line to hire the esteemed Dr. Polk.  Unfortunately, the same would not be true of Papa Shelboo.  "



Dear Truth4usm/AH,



I write as President of the Board of Regents of the Erma C. Kaznoznich College of Cosmetology in Slapout, Alabama.  I wish to disabuse you of your notion that no college in the U.S. would be interested in hiring Dr. Shelby F. Thames as its president.  In fact, I now feel free to report that ECKCOC has just this afternoon extended an offer to Dr. Thames to become our 13th President.  We are, of course, anxiously awaiting his reply. 



As President, Dr. Thames would preside over a robust faculty of eighteen world-class cosmeticians, who serve in three separate schools: The School of Nail Design; the School of Hair Trimming and Rearrangement; and the Alfredo Prodny School of Makeup Management (named after my late father).  Dr. Thames, in addition to his duties as President of the College, will be expected to develop a wide array of new nail polishes as part of his polymer science research; he may even be asked, on occasion, to buff a nail or two when Professor Thelma Cobb, dean of the SND, has to run next door to KFC to buy some chicken for the weekly President's Council meeting.



We believe that the skills Dr. Thames has demonstrated at USM will equip him quite well to run a school with the kind of mission we pride ourselves on discharging at ECKCOC.  We also believe that the Presidential Suite (located in the former Motel 6 just across the road) will accord well with the taste for which President Thames is so justly renowned.



Sincerely yours,



Wilfredo Prodny



 




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LVN

Date:
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LVN is happy to  report an interesting luncheon meeting with Judge Cooley's RM's associate's Other Associate (hereinafter known as OA.)  OA did refute LVN's notion that our school will end up as MSU-South Campus, revealing that instead, President Prodny has held secret meetings on campus to explore forming the Erma C. Kaznoznich Center for the Development of Beautiful Economic Theory, and Hair Design.  President Prodny feels his operation will seamlessly meld with current efforts at USM to form a more scientific world view.  With that in mind, the Kaznoznich Center will not be in COAL, because although it is about beauty, it is more about money. President Prodny is nothing if not honest.


OA also urged LVN to go after one of those PhD's in Economic Development, possibly thinking that she could give well-informed beauty and financial advice in the same setting.  Her dissertation topic will be "For Whom the Plastic Melts, It Melts for Thee: a post-post-modern exploration of the scientific theory of beauty in a post-Donnean university environment, with added makeup hints for the mature scholar seeking other employment."  LVN is not sure she is up to the 20 or 30 pages that would involve, and has decided to take a nap and ponder it.  Being careful, of course, not to muss her hair.



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truth4usm/AH

Date:
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quote:
Originally posted by: LVN
"LVN is happy to  report an interesting luncheon meeting with Judge Cooley's RM's associate's Other Associate (hereinafter known as OA.)  [snipped for brevity]."
LVN, you crack me up!  Thanks for the afternoon chuckle! 

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Rock 'n' troll

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Allowing both for the not-so-subtle dig against my partner For Whom the bell trolls and the speculation that you were softened up in advance by a bouquet of flowers from OE's boss's boss, it was still hilarious!


 



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foot soldier

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Isn't the Erma C. Kaznoznich College of Cosmetology going to have to compete with the University of Eastabuchie at Petal? (Did I spell Eastabuchie correctly?) I'd really like to see a bidding war over Shelby.

Do I hear $17,500?

Do I hear $17, 500 and 73 cents?

Do I hear $17,501, free coffee from KFC and a reserved parking space?

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Rock 'n' troll

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quote:
Originally posted by: Rock 'n' troll
"Allowing both for the not-so-subtle dig against my partner For Whom the bell trolls and the speculation that you were softened up in advance by a bouquet of flowers from OE's boss's boss, it was still hilarious!  "
OA not OE

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LVN

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Oh, no, Rock-n-troll.  Not a dig at all.  Did you not get the "post-Donnean university environment"  Donne?  John Donne? For Whom the Bell Tolls?  Sigh, guess it was too liberal arts of a joke.


Sometimes LVN is just too subtle for her own good.



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Rock 'n' troll

Date:
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quote:
Originally posted by: LVN
"Oh, no, Rock-n-troll.  Not a dig at all.  Did you not get the "post-Donnean university environment"  Donne?  John Donne? For Whom the Bell Tolls?  Sigh, guess it was too liberal arts of a joke. Sometimes LVN is just too subtle for her own good."
I did, I did...given that Punster started this, I thought you were giving it double play...and very cleverly besides!

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LVN

Date:
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quote:
Originally posted by: foot soldier
"Isn't the Erma C. Kaznoznich College of Cosmetology going to have to compete with the University of Eastabuchie at Petal? (Did I spell Eastabuchie correctly?)

Foot soldier opens all sorts of wonderful opportunities and ideas.  Instead of MSU-South, we could be UE - South (or west, or wherever the heck we are from there)


The possiblities are limitless.  Some of you smart people get busy on this!



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