a day’s work for a day’s pay < 1. specious argument made to criticize USM faculty by pro-Thames members of the business community, suggesting that college professors work about 2 to 3 hours a week; 2. this argument is often made by pro-Thames business people likely at the insistence/urging of Shelby Thames himself (see also Shelby’s the boss, they’re just jealous of Shelby’s accomplishments and those liberal college profs); 3. now, all anti-Thames people can think about when they hear this line is Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer kicking back on a gorgeous white sand beach with a cold one.

AAUP < 1. American Association of University Professors; 2. not a faculty union (collective bargaining is not an option in Mississippi).

aaup-usm.org < 1. official website for USM’s chapter of the AAUP; 2. welcomed the hordes from geocities.com/fireshelby on May 27,2004.

Abbenyi, Abbenyi < well-known editorial cartoonist at The Student Printz, made famous by spoofing the Thames administration.

academic career < 1. significant stint in the academy (i.e., higher education) by an individual (faculty), having produced a record of scholarship in teaching, research and service (i.e., not administration); 2. do not see Angeline Dvorak.

academic freedom < 1. freedom granted to the professorate (by tenure) to explore controversial, though important, subject matter, without fear of reprisal or recrimination; at USM, it is a special freedom or privilege held by the president to change the locks on the doors and seize the computers of the professoriate, while he has them in his office demanding their resignation or be fired.

accepted students vs. student acceptances < 1. on 4/8/04, The Hattiesburg American published a statement from Joe Paul indicating that there is a 9% increase in students accepted by USM for this Fall (2004) compared to last Fall (2003). That figure represents an increase of 222 students accepted by USM this Fall. However, truth4usm correctly pointed out that same day (see geocities.com/fireshelby message board) that "students accepted for admission by USM" and "students choosing to enroll at USM upon acceptance of admission" (paraphrasing) are two different occurrences. Whole press release now, given truth4usm’s correction, looks like a variation on Mader math (see also USM enrollment) with some phantom students thrown in for flavoring and texture; 2. the kind of chicanery that a respectable institution, like Texas A&M, would likely never draw its Vice President of Student Affairs into.

ACLU < 1. American Civil Liberties Union; 2. monitoring the USM crisis; 3. assisting attorney Mike Adelman in his defense of ousted USM professors Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer.

Ad Hoc Committee on Credentials, Hiring and Tenure Processes < 1. an ad hoc committee of USM’s Faculty Senate; 2. released a report near the beginning of April 2004 recommending that Angeline Dvorak no longer participate in recommendations made to USM President Shelby Thames about tenure and promotion; 3. recommendation based on the fact that Dvorak does not currently hold tenure at USM, and has only been tenured in two community college systems (see Ashland Community College and Enterprise State Junior College).

Adderton, Donald V. < 1. Assistant Managing Editor of The Hattiesburg American; 2. has written on multiple occasions that Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer were "kicked to the curb" by Shelby Thames; 3. tone of his editorials indicates belief that Thames should resign for the good of the university.

Adelman, Mike < 1. attorney representing Professors Glamser and Stringer; 2. could not get his calls returned by USM attorney Jim Keith, who was inserted into the process in a non-neutral way by the IHL Board and Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood as a measure to "ensure fairness" (see Jim Hood and Jim Keith).

ADP < 1. Area Development Partnership of Hattiesburg; 2. public-private joint venture to attract business spending to Hattiesburg area; 3. uncomfortably close the Shelby Thames’ administration at USM; 4. correction on 3, apparently now being run by Shelby Thames from his office in the dome (see J. Phillip Halstead).

ADP Swap Shop < reference to Shelby Thames’ plan to move Angeline Dvorak into an administrative position at the ADP, and in return one-half of her ADP salary was to be paid through the USM Foundation. Plan was stopped cold by J. Phillip Halstead (story reported in June issue of The Independent).

The Advertiser News < Petal newspaper that has produced some coverage of the crises at USM.

AG status < 1. legal status given to a university attorney by the Attorney General of Mississippi, effectively placing a university attorney within the administrative structure of the Attorney General’s office, and not within the university itself; 2. long-standing status held by Lee Gore at USM; 3. status that thwarted Shelby Thames’ early attempt to fire Lee Gore, the university attorney at USM; 4. status given to Jack Hanbury by the quiz-kid Jim Hood (MS Attorney General) so that Shelby Thames’ testimony (during the Glamser-Stringer hearings) that Hanbury was the university attorney would actually be a truthful statement, only retroactively so; 5. status given to Jack Hanbury by Jim Hood for Hanbury’s tireless efforts at e-mail surveillance.

agent provacateur < 1. secret agent who infiltrates an organization in order to incite trouble designed to

make its members commit acts that will incur punishment; 2. term perfectly used in Neil McMillen’s speech to USM’s faculty on the night of the no-confidence vote to describe the cadre of individuals plucked from the "hostile outside" by Shelby Thames, whose members are entirely devoid of knowledge about and interest in academic life and culture, deliberately plotting through consistently bad advice to lead Shelby Thames over the edge; 3. see John I. Hanbury, Lisa Mader, Angeline Dvorak, Ken Malone, Mark Dvorak, etc.

Albertson’s building < 1. large, vacant facility at Cloverleaf Mall; 2. purchased early in the Thames administration for a reported $1.2 million sum; 3. was to be renovated with state bond issue money amounting to $3.5 million, but Thames wanted to divert these funds to construct the Economic Development Center, or so the story on the street goes (see Trent Lott and Haley Barbour). 4. this site is now rumored to belong to Forrest General Hospital, in return (to USM) for the old Southern Aire Motel next to Wallgreens at the corner of Hwy 49 and Hardy Street; 5. the theory is that without a nursing facility to renovate, the dome can now use the funds to complete the ED Center (of course, the nurses get hosed).

American Pride Paint < 1. odorless paint invented by Shelby Thames; 2. available in only one color (beige).

Anderson, David < 1. former Vice President of Property and Physical Plant at USM; 2. leaving USM for the greener pastures in Jackson; 3. was rapidly developing lower back pain and joint problems fulfilling all of Thames’ requests to have locks changed on faculty offices; 4. also became bored applying American Pride Paint (it comes only in a single color, beige).

Anderson, Reuben < retired MS Supreme Court Justice appointed by Jim Hood to "ensure fairness" in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings.

Angeline Dvorak’s Academic Lewis & Clark Expedition < 1. term used to describe the academic expedition undertaken by Angeline Dvorak in gaining her many academic degrees; 2. the expedition begins after Angeline Dvorak received an A.A. Degree from Gulf Coast Community College in Panama City, FL (in 1977), and a B.A. Degree from Troy State University in Troy, AL (in 1979); 3. the expedition begins in 1981-1983, when Dvorak was a teacher at Panama City Christian School, and continues from 1983-1985, when she was an Assistant Professor at Gulf Coast Community College in Panama City, FL. During this time — 1984 to be exact — she received an M.S. in English education from Florida State University, which is in Tallahasee, FL. It seems (according to mapquest.com) that this is a 121.16 mile drive, requiring about 2 hours and 17 minutes (one way); 4. the expedition gets even more amazing when one considers that, in addition to the full-time jobs in Panama City and the academic work in Tallahassee, Angeline Dvorak also earned an M.A. in English in 1985 from the University of Alabama, which is in Tuscaloosa, AL. As mapquest.com indicates, this is a 320.22 mile drive requiring about 6 hours and 9 minutes (one way). If one considers that Dvorak began work in 1985 (until 1990) as an Instructor at Enterprise State Junior College in Enterprise, AL, the trip to Tuscaloosa required only 4 hours and 20 minutes to complete the 218.05 mile expedition (one way). But, using Enterprise as the starting point, where she began work in 1985, to get to Tuscaloosa, where she got an M.A. in 1985, assumes she did everything in one year. So, either the former distance or an average travel distance of 270 miles and 5 hours and 15 minutes (one way) seems appropriate (an amazing feat still); 5. The Academic Expedition concludes during the 1985-1990 period, when Dvorak was working at Enterprise State Junior College in Enterprise, AL. In 1989, Angeline Dvorak received her PhD in English from Florida State University, in Tallahassee, Florida. As mapquest.com indicates, Tallahassee is 135.78 miles from Enterprise, requiring a drive of some 2 hours and 46 minutes (one way); 6. As one can tell, Angeline Dvorak’s Academic Lewis & Clark Expedition was an amazing feat, one Meriwether Lewis & William Clark would be proud of; 7. Or would they? With all the working and the traveling, when did she have time for studies?

Angeline Dvorak’s Back to the Future Academic Odyssey < it is well-known that Angeline Dvorak initiated her teaching career as a 19-year old graduate assistant at the University of Alabama (see USM website and other public sources). What is not well-known is that she actually received an M.S. in English Education from Florida State University in 1984, exactly one year before she received an M.A. in English from the University of Alabama (i.e., 1985). How might this be explained, you ask? Of course, the obvious answer is time travel. Here are some other explanations: the Dvoraks’ calendar runs 1981, 1982, 1983, 1985, 1984, 1986, 1987 ..... etc.; or, Angeline Dvorak began her graduate studies at Alabama and got to a course like ENG 623, and when she looked it up in Alabama’s Graduate Bulletin, she saw: "Prerequisite — ENG 622 and an M.S. in English Education from Florida State University." So, she had to get the FSU degree before continuing the Alabama degree; third, she may have completed the M.S. degree from Florida State University as an 18-year old graduate research assistant, and then she began the M.A. degree at the University of Alabama as a 19-year old graduate teaching assistant; finally, it could simply be the case that her resume is inaccurate/misleading on one or more of these points, but she wouldn’t do that, would she? That would be a pump up resume strategy, wouldn’t it?

Angie’s academic career < 1. urban legend; 2. never really got started; 3. began as a "19-year old grad student at Alabama" but seemed to end when she departed Panama City Christian School shortly thereafter; 3. by her account, it was ruined by faculty at USM in 2003-2004 (and Lisa Mader is just sick about it).

Apocalypse Here < black market digital video disc depicting the current horror at USM.

APPEAL < automobile license plate of USM’s Risk Manager, John ("aka" Jack) Hanbury.

April 28-29, 2004 < dates of the suspension appeal hearings for professors Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer, who are represented by Mike Adelman. Shelby Thames’ arguments and solid grounds are presented by Jackson attorney Jim Keith, while former Supreme Court Justice Reuben Anderson presides (and sends an opinion to the IHL Board). Finally, the UAC also forwards an opinion to the IHL Board along with one from Shelby Thames.

Ashland Community College < 1. one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Ashland, KY (that’s not Lexington, KY).

Aubrey K. Lucas Administration Building < 1. Official administration building at USM, housing offices of the President, the Provost and other top executive officials; 2. often called the Administration Building, the Dome, the Roundhouse, the Round Building and Wolfschanze (since 2002); 3. site of first anti-Thames rally following the firings of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer.

Aurelius, Marcus < 1. Roman philosopher king/emperor; 2. Roman emperor whose very best leadership qualities are also shared by Aubrey Lucas (see Neil McMillen’s speech).

babbs’ list < list of departing USM talent (beginning with the ‘03-‘04 school year) submitted daily (by babbs) to geocities.com/fireshelby.

bad karma < 1. A distinctively bad aura, atmosphere or feeling; 2. what follows members of the Thames regime anywhere and everywhere they go.

Barbour, Haley < 1. Governor of Mississippi; 2. persistently prods the Thames administration (in the media) to hurry up and get the Economic Development Center off the ground; 3. USM’s Spring ‘04 commencement speaker.

Bartlett, Thomas < 1. reporter for The Chronicle of Higher Education; 2. wrote a lengthy description of USM crisis in a March 2004 issue ("Move to Fire 2 Professors Roils Campus in Mississippi"); 3. outed the fact that Shelby Thames’ only basis for accusing USM history professor Doug Chambers of cancelling classes was fabricated information (i.e., solid grounds) given to him by his girl Lisa Slay Mader.

Beneke, Jill < 1. President and CEO of Pileum Corporation, one of a few companies reportedly under non-competitive contractual agreements to render services for USM; 2. private information technology consultant rumored to be making personnel decisions at iTech (i.e., termination decisions) under the signature authority of Angeline Dvorak; 3. executive providing Shelby Thames with the technology to carry out e-mail surveillance plans.

Berry, David < 1. Professor of English at USM, and product of a national job search; 2. conducted the one man demonstration in front of the LAB on morning of 5/7/2004, where he smashed 3 teaching awards and a 30-year service pin, all awarded over his career at USM (in front of crowd of about 100); 3. called Thames a hammer-headed buffoon.

betrayal and sellout < how some anti-Thames fighters view the Glamser-Stringer settlement.

bogus charade < Rob McDuff’s characterization (term coined in opening statement) of the case put together by Shelby Thames and Jim Keith for firing Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer. [guest Glossary entry partially by hellgirl]

Bok, Derek < 1. former President of Harvard University and author of Universities in the Marketplace: The Commercialization of Higher Education (Princeton University Press, Copyright 2003); 2. Bok’s book is a must read if you want a deeper understanding of the situation at USM since 2002; 3. In his book, Bok reports that in 2000, the best year in the history of patent license revenues for universities, only 19 universities earned more than $10 million, and 50% of all universities that earned patent license revenues that year brought in less than or equal to $2 million. Post-it note to Robin Robinson: USM, or any university in Mississippi for that matter, is not going to become self-sufficient through patented inventions; 4. coincidentally, Derek Bok is mentioned in Neil McMillen’s speech to the faculty on the night of the 430-32 vote.

Bok’s lessons < In Derek Bok's book, he talks alot about what students learn while they're at college. As he says numerous times, they often learn as many lessons from observing the way the university's administration behaves as they do from their textbooks. How can a university ask a student not to sell their class notes and old exams and papers to other students, when the university sets up a slipshod Phd program on the Internet and peddles it nationwide? How can the athletic department ask its athletes not to accept in-kind gifts and cash from boosters when the university sells its soul to the GodwinGroup and Pileum Corporation, and the never-ending quest for big-dollar contracts and grants for work of trivial academic importance (beige paint). [guest Glossary entry by elliott]

bootyologist < 1. practitioner/teacher of bootyology, or the "science" of "extra-curricular activities" ["aka" eca]; 2. title acquired upon reaching a degree of proficiency in "eca" that comes only through extensive, "hands-on" field work in the "discipline."; 3. "pen and company ink" scientist.

a bow tie affair < party that will soon be held honoring Aubrey K. Lucas’ coronation, for the third time, as USM president.

Bradford, L. Paul, Sr. < 1. resident of Biloxi and USM Class of 1957; 2. espouses the Shelby’s the boss theory in a 5/9/2004 letter to The Sun-Herald.

Braswell, Janet < 1. Hattiesburg American reporter that usually presents a pro-Thames slant in all of her writing; 2. too lazy to do real reporting, so she usually regurgitates Lisa Mader’s press releases verbatim as if they were gospel; 3. the only reporter one can think of who could wade through a 1,000-person, anti-Thames rally in front of the Dome, find the only 3 Thames supporters in attendance, and take their photo and pen an article about a pro-Thames rally that occurred;

Brian, Brad < 1. Vice President of Coca-Cola’s Mississippi Division, owner of Mike Anderson’s Seafood Restaurant and former President of the ADP; 2. pro-Thames member of Hattiesburg business community who attended (and spoke to media) the Honor House Rally; 3. stated that area businesses supported Shelby Thames for the economic impact he’s had on USM and the Hattiesburg community; 4. referred to Thames as a "doer" who can take USM where it should be and needs to be; 5. important player in tapping Harold Doty to be the first-ever Dean of the College of Business and Economic Development; 6. we know how Brad Brian feels about Shelby Thames, the question is: given the text in "5." of this Glossary entry, how does Shelby Thames feel about Brad Brian?

Brown, Riva < 1. reporter from The Clarion Ledger; 2. with assistance from geocities.com/fireshelby, she outed the IHL Board/Jim Hood scheme to give Shelby a little help in the Glamser-Stringer hearings.

Bryant, Phil < 1. Mississippi State Auditor; 2. Hey Phil, there are some untoward things going on over at USM — you should check it out when you get a minute or two.

Buckley Amendment < 1. federal statute prohibiting unauthorized release of confidential information about students, usually pertaining to release of grades, GPA, and other records (see also violation of the Buckley Amendment).

Butko, Peter < 1. Associate Professor of Chemistry and Biochemistry at USM, product of a national job search, and member of the President’s University Council; 2. webster’s new hero, Butko left the first-ever PUC meeting after just 15 minutes, telling The Hattiesburg American that the meeting had a kindergarten feel to it, and that it looked like a monumental waste of time.