E

e-humor < reference to all of the funny pictures of Shelby Thames & Company on display at geocities.com/fireshelby.

e-mail < 1. electronic letter/message between two or more computer terminals; 2. at USM, an electronic text between two unsuspecting parties that may likely be read to the public by Shelby Thames in a legal proceeding or at a cocktail party. [guest Glossary entry partially by friend]

e-mail perverts < 1. married, middle-aged and/or elderly men (see Jack Hanbury and Shelby Thames) sitting in the Aubrey K. Lucas Administration Building (with six-figure salaries) intercepting and reading e-mails written by USM coeds (see Rachel Quinlivan).

e-mail surveillance < 1. intercepting/reading e-mails between two (or more) other parties, requiring the use of expensive, military-grade electronic equipment (see e-mail and iTech); 2. pastime of Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury since (at least) January of 2004, if not much, much sooner (see e-mail perverts); 3. USM donor Bobby Chain says he hopes the Dome Gnome has intercepted some of the e-mails he has sent to campus, and if he finds out it has happened, he will "be mad as hell. . ." (HA, 5/1/04).

eagletalk.net < message board for Golden Eagles athletics supporters, hosted by Rivals.com, that is inhabited mainly by pro-Thames people.

Early Childhood Center, USMGC < learning lab at USMGC closed in the Summer of 2004 by Ken Malone, who closed the facility because it ". . . became cost prohibitive . . .", and Malone didn’t want to ". . . divert resources from other important work of the university." "We are truly sorry to see this happen," Malone said (to The Hattiesburg American, 5/30/2004). "I’ve been trying to figure out for five months how to keep the center open." Obviously to no avail.

economic development < 1. Shelby Thames’ idea that all that USM is really good for is to serve the Pine Belt as a fiscal stimulus package (not as a center of higher learning); 2. made part of the university’s mission by current administration — one of the four corners (pillars) of the school’s existence; 3. of all the words/phrases in this glossary, if only one would never be heard from again in the post-Thames era, this would probably get the most votes.

Economic Development department < 1. a collection of individuals trained in English, geography and polymer science offering online/Internet degrees in economics (someone please investigate and report back to Webster with info on what USM’s economists teach); 2. about to get a new $12 million crib, The Trent Lott National Center for Excellence in Economic Development and Entrepreneurship.

efficiency < 1. the quality or product of being efficient, which is acting or producing effectively with a minimum of waste, expense or unnecessary effort; 2. the ratio of the effective or useful output to the total input in any system; 3. what Shelby Thames was hired by the IHL Board to bring to day-to-day activities at USM. Two examples, regarding the two most high-profile employee terminations, show just how successful Thames has been. First, when all of USM’s deans were terminated in the university restructuring plan, which itself is still saving millions and millions of dollars (today) even over 1 year after its implementation, Thames placed a single ad in The Chronicle of Higher Education for 5 new deans, thus saving the expense of buying 5 separate ads (sheer genius). This was possible without hurting USM’s reputation (given that applicants might have inferred something scary since the single ad hinted at wholesale terminations/replacements) because USM’s "brand" is very "robust" with Thames at the helm (see Danny Mitchell). Second, Thames fired two professors, Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer, without involving his $145,000/yr. Provost Tim Hudson, who supposedly represents the administration in all of its academic affairs. It would have been a shame, in fact inefficient, to have also involved Tim Hudson when Thames’ risk manager and a cadre of un-named outside attorneys (who supposedly worked pro bono; pro bono=efficiency) already had the case on solid grounds, and Hudson’s involvement would have only increased the costs of the matter without altering its outcome. Examples of efficiency at USM abound. For more details, contact Lisa Mader in USM’s Public Relations department.

Elliott, Dave < 1. on-air talent at WLOX, host of a news magazine show (Sunday Night); 2. his news magazine show hosted IHL yahoo Roy Klumb on 5/2/2004 (Elliott gave Klumb no quarter, and was supported by almost all of the show’s callers in doing so. In response, Klumb referred to Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer as criminals).

Enterprise State Junior College < 1. one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Enterprise, AL.

Evans, Robert C. < 1. Professor of English, Auburn University at Montgomery; 2. supporter of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. eloquent writer (many of his op-ed pieces have helped the cause).

Evil Shelboo < short-film portrayal of Shelby Thames on a black market digital video disc.

Exit 13 < 1981 book by Monte Piliawsky detailing corruption at USM during the William McCain era.

Exline, Joan < 1. Interim Dean of the College of Health at USM; 2. stated on several ocassions that she wanted badly to be Dean; 3. mysteriously withdrew her name from the hunt on 4/15/04, stating that some other "opportunities" had come up working with the healthcare industry that required her to be back on a 9-month contract at USM.

fact < 1. something that has been objectively verified; 2. something presented as objectively real; 3. something having real, demonstrable existence; 4. for Thames’ version, see solid grounds.

Faculty of Nutrition and Food Services < 1. seven members of the USM professorate that stood firm in support of their highly accomplished student, Rachel Quinlivan, in a letter to The Student Printz (4/29/04); 2. letter in support of Rachel Quinlivan indicated that Quinlivan has been accepted into a prestigious dietetic internship at the University of California at San Francisco and stated the view that Rachel possesses a keen sense of purpose, an outstanding work ethic, and integrity.

Faculty Senate < 1. official government body of the USM faculty; 2. represents USM faculty in governance matters; 3. Thames says they simply represent themselves (Neil McMillen quote).

Fagan, Patrick < 1. doctoral student at USM; 2. pro-Thames letter-writer, claims that USM faculty have used students as pawns to further their personal political agenda. Says that USM faculty have "the audacity" to complain about low salaries. Writes that USM faculty exhibit "crybaby mentality."

FAR < 1. Faculty Activity Report; 2. brainstorm of Shelby Thames; 3. A voluminous document that does not probe at all into the quality of teaching by faculty, despite the fact that USM students are the president’s most prized possession.

Farris, R. Scott < 1. former Hattiesburg City Council member and big Thames ally; 2. thought Angeline Dvorak gave a good speech at JCJC in Ellisville; 3. member of the League of the South, group founded in 1994 to promote the "resurrection of a Southern nation" and a refusal to surrender to cultural genocide; 4. Farris is the official musician of the Mississippi Southern League; 5. see Thames Underworld; 6. see Farriswood.

Farriswood < "I had the privilege to hear Dr. [Angeline] Dvorak speak on [economic development] this past January at the very impressive Jones County Junior College Economic Development Symposium . . . . Although there were prominent officials . . . speaking . . . , she was, in my opinion, easily the most engaging, attractive and effective speaker . . . that day" (R. Scott Farris’ letter to several newspapers; italics added).

FIA < 1. Freedom of Information Act; 2. federal statute giving citizens/taxpayers the right to explore goings on in public institutions, such as colleges/universities; 3. hundreds of these have recently been filed with USM, so many that Shelby Thames might have to do a Thames job search and hire a Director of Freedom of Information Act requests; 4. whenever a FIA is filed, Lisa Mader states to the media that the University has still not decided whether it will release requested information or not (i.e., they haven’t decided whether or not they will comply with federal law in this or that instance); 5. USM Deans reportedly told by Thames not to comply with some requests under FIA.

15-1-11 < 1. recorded vote of Chris Moore’s resolution in the Hub SGA supporting Angeline Dvorak’s impeccable resume; 2. note the "overwhelming" show of "support" in the last two places (yea-nay-abstain) of the outcome, as stated by Chris Moore and Sarah Spigener.

FIHL Board < 1. F#c&i*g Institutions of Higher Learning Board of Mississippi; 2. term reportedly used by Gary Stringer (right on Gary, right on!) in a private e-mail that was uncovered by e-mail surveillance at USM by Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury (Shelby Thames testified using the term during the Glamser-Stringer hearings). [guest Glossary entry partially by hellgirl]

Fire Shelby < moderator of the website geocities.com/fireshelby.

Fire Shelby Exclusives < investigative reports produced by Fire Shelby and posted on geocities.com/fireshelby.

Fire Shelby limerick contest < limerick contest begun on geocities.com/fireshelby by USM Sympathizer (name of a poster on message board). As of 5/12/04, contest had over 75 entries that were viewed 1,277 times. [guest Glossary entry by USM Sympathizer]

firethames.com < 1. website devoted to "T-R-U-T-H," or "Thames Resign and Restore USM’s Trust and Honor"; 2. website ably run by "truth4usm."

Fleming, Horace < 1. USM President preceding the second Aubrey Lucas administration; 2. offered a one-year contract renewal by the IHL Board, but chose to resign his post instead.

flog and blog < 1. flog: to beat severly with a whip or rod (also flogging). blog: weblog (or web log); a journal that is on the web (Internet), and updated with some regularity (a practice called blogging). 2. Since Spring of 2002, USM President Shelby Thames has been flogging away at USM’s reputation (see world class institution) through ill-advised actions (see agent provacateur) against its faculty, staff (the holocaust here is an untold, heartbreaking account, which will someday be known to all), students (see my most prized possession) and, ultimately, its alumni and financial supporters. On that day in March of 2004 when two professors (see Glamser and Stringer) were summarily fired on solid grounds evidence, these constituencies began blogging back. Today, there are two well-known anti-Thames blogs: geocities.com/fireshelby and firethames.com. The former has had 53,132 visitors since its inception (as of 4/10/04), while the latter has had 4,365 (unique) visitors since inception (as of 4/10/04). Add to these two, several blogs (e.g., Liberty & Power Group blog, blog.lordsutch.com, scott.littlemeanfish.com/blog, coldfury.com/Sasha, joehilldispatch.org, dast.freeshell.org/blog, and others) from around the globe that have joined the fray and are keeping their "eyes" (or blogs) on events in Hattiesburg. The world is watching and taking notice (see Bill Gunther, image problem, and Danny Mitchell and for discussion of "brand" and "image" aspects of the current crisis).

Forrest, Nathan Bedford < 1. Colonel in the Confederate Cavalry; 2. founder of the KKK; 3. see Colonel Nat.

40-0 < official result of USM Faculty Senate’s "no confidence in Shelby Thames" vote on the night of 3/7/04 (results reported as "no confidence"-"confidence").

Fos, Pete < 1. named Dean of the College of Health at USM in April of 2004; 2. appears to be the product of a Thames job search after Joan Exline was "eliminated" from contention in March/April of 2004, and after rumored plans to install first daughter Dana Thames became untenable (given the many crises embroiling USM’s central administration).

Founder’s Day Celebration < 1. USM’s annual birthday party; 2. an important event for USM alumni and supporters; 3. President Shelby Thames was vacationing in Texas instead of celebrating Founder’s Day in 2004.

430-32 < official result of USM faculty-wide "no confidence in Shelby Thames" vote on the night of 3/10/04 (results reported as "no confidence"-"confidence").

14-0 < unanimous vote by USM’s Graduate Council to rescind the graduate faculty credential of Angeline Dvorak (vote taken on 4/26/04).

Fowler, Aubrey R., III < 1. graduate student in business at USM; 2. forceful and eloquent writer for the anti-Thames cause, having written two guest columns for The Student Printz and geocities.com/fireshelby; 3. author of essays pleading for the Hub SGA to take some sort of stand (make an opinion heard) in the crises at USM.

freedom of bidnesspeech < term that refers to belief of Hattiesburg business people that they should be able to publicly call USM professors "lazy, unruly, good-for-nothing whiners," yet face no economic retaliation (i.e., voting with dollars) for it.

Friends List < 1. list of Hattiesburg area business that have supported USM faculty in the current crisis; 2. list is circulating around campus community.

future President’s University Council activities < based on the success of the first meeting of the PUC (5/12/04), the following activities are planned for the next several meetings (alphabetical order): "duck, duck, goose;" finger painting; hit a piZata; Iron Chef cook-off; Jenga; Magic 8-Ball; manipulatives; Ouija boarding.

future President’s University Council field trips < based on the success of the first meeting of the PUC (5/12/04), the following field trips are planned for the next several meetings (alphabetical order): Chuck E. Cheese’s; Hattiesburg Zoo (ride the train); Laser Mania; Marble Slab Creamery; Rage Skate Park.

future President’s University Council guest speakers < based on the success of the first meeting of the PUC (5/12/04), the following guest speakers are planned for the next several meetings (alphabetical order): Barney & Friends; Dora the Explorer and Swiper; Dr. T. Barry Brazelton; Oscar Mayer Weiner car.

Garrett, Ricki < 1. member of the IHL Board; 2. Seemed to hold sway over the original decision to hire Thames as USM’s president. After the original IHL Board vote on Thames reportedly resulted in a deadlock — rumored to be a result of concerns Garrett and others had about Thames’ past indiscretions at work — Ricki Garrett is said to have called a meeting with Thames and the other IHL Board members, wherein she asked the famous question of him: "Are you a bootyologist?" When Thames replied, "Negatory..," she and a few other members fell in line supporting Thames’ candidacy. The rest is, as we know, history. 3. given the aforementioned story about Garrett, it’s clear she should never make any more big life decisions without consulting the advice of a much more sophisticated person (see Virginia Shanteau-Newton); 4. should hire fellow IHL Board member Virginia Shanteau-Newton as her "life coach" asap.

geocities.com/fireshelby < 1. website devoted to restoring academic integrity and excellence to the hallowed halls of the University of Southern Mississippi; 2. website ably run by Fire Shelby; 3. website was taken offline on May 27, 2004, and its participants migrated to the board at aaup-usm.org.

Glamser, Frank < 1. Professor of Anthropology and Sociology at USM, fired without due process; 2. product of a national job search decades ago; 3. fine scholar and individual; 4. has(d) tenure, but not Thames job insurance; 5. USM faculty and Faculty Senate both overwhemingly voted that they would rather have Frank Glamser as a colleague than Shelby Thames (statement attributed to Noel Polk); 6. retired from USM in May of 2004.

Glamser-Stringer Hearings < 1. scheduled to be held April 28-29, 2004, but started late and lasted only about 2.5 hours, after former Supreme Court Justice Reuben Anderson halted the embarrassment being caused by the walking, talking , blithering idiot; 2. resulted in a settlement after a 3 hour working lunch between the two parties and Reuben Anderson (see Glamser-Stringer settlement).

Glamser-Stringer Legal Defense Fund < 1. fund set up by supporters of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer to provide legal support for these two embattled professors; 2. generous show of support for the fund was made by Dr. and Mrs. Geoffrey Hartwig shortly after the professors were fired.

Glamser-Stringer scholarship fund < scholarship fund being set up at USM by Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer.

Glamser-Stringer settlement < 1. settlement between Frank Glamser/Gary Stringer and USM president Shelby Thames brokered by former Supreme Court Justice Reuben Anderson; 2. settlement specifies that (a) the university will discontinue termination of the professors, allowing them to collect their personal/scholarly property from their offices in a reasonable period of time; (b) the university recommends that Angeline Dvorak not pursue litigation against the two professors, but cannot prevent her from doing so if she desires; (c) USM will pay salaries of two professors through the end of the 2005-2006 school year; (d) USM will allow two professors to discontinue their status as professors and convert to consultants at any time during their final two years with the university; (e) USM agrees to support the Donne Variorum during the two years, and will not oppose its move to another university if Gary Stringer wishes to move it; (f) USM will not provide the two professors with offices or supplies, and the professors will not have any teaching duties in their final two years; (g) neither side will publicly malign the other, and the two professors may not criticize the university during the two-year agreement.

Gnome Clone < supporters of Shelby Thames who mimic his and Lisa Mader’s public relations spin. [guest Glossary entry by Fire Shelby]

GodwinGroup < 1. public relations firm working for USM; 2. rumor has it that GodwinGroup is one of a few firms to be awarded contract work from USM without having to go through a competitive bid process (see Phil Bryant); 3. see also Danny Mitchell.

Goofus the Clown < an IHL Board member who does something about the Thames administration, but only after waiting near the brink of total annihilation (term coined by David Berry).

Gore, Lee < 1. university attorney at USM (competent, long-standing); 2. with the designation of AG status for Jack Hanbury (given by Jim Hood) on 4/30/2004, a man that now sits in solitary confinement at USM, surfing the Net and engaging in other in-office hobbies.

Graduate Council < 1. faculty governance body at USM responsible for determining graduate faculty credentials of USM faculty; 2. voted 14-0 to rescind Angeline Dvorak’s graduate faculty status at USM (on 4/26/04) on the grounds that she did not hold a tenure track appointment; 3. Council’s report is said to have indicated that Dvorak had submitted a faulty application, indicating tenure track status, the previous August (of 2003).

grants and contracts < 1. financial support, from government/private sector, of university research; 2. USM gathers about $70 million/year in grants and contracts; 3. not much mention ever by Thames administration about what is being researched and/or why the subject of study is important to the world, only how much money USM is bringing in; 4. a virtual playground (at USM) for Phil Bryant.

>10,000 to about 30 < 1. official scorecard in the Gary Stringer vs. Angeline Dvorak scholarly "thrilla in Manilla" (first number, >10,000, equals Stringer’s pages of scholarly text; second number is Dvorak’s); 2. see also Wallace Report and Conrad Kleinpeter.

Grimes, Jay < 1. former Provost of the Hattiesburg campus of USM; 2. became Provost at the Gulf Coast branch after successful cross-training Provosts program with Hattiesburg Provost Tim Hudson; 3. told numerous stories to the USM faculty about how the FAR was to be used by upper administrators.

Grones, Denise < Associated Press writer who published article "Mississippu U. Ends Fight with Professors" on 4/30/2004 that was carried worldwide.

gross insubordination < 1. flagrant disregard for authority (in normal use); 2. to Jack Hanbury, abiding by federal laws (e.g., the Freedom of Information Act) and/or failing to submit to Thames authority.

The Guice Boyz < 1. familial street gang (in the Hattiesburg area) comprised of a family of doctors, spanning at least two generations. The patriarch is C.E. Guice, (aka "papa doc"), a retired physician. The sons are C.E. "Chuck," III (aka "baby doc") and John M. Guice (aka "the glove"), ear/nose/throat and urology specialists, respectively. The favorite modus operandi of two members of the group ( "papa doc" and "the glove") is the "drive-by letter," usually to The Hattiesburg American, that refers indiscriminately to any of the hundreds of highly trained, professional and hardworking USM faculty as "spoiled children," "foment[ers of] trouble," "backdoor political trick[sters]," "usurp[ers . . . of] authority." The gang supports the a day’s work for a day’s pay argument, and "papa doc" thinks ". . . the faculty should be fired" (HA, 5/13/04); 2. "papa doc" made a Kleinpeter of himself, and "the glove" is well on his way to doing so, if he hasn’t already; 3. Hattiesburg community is now waiting to hear from "baby doc," who may be the brains of the gang given his (smart) silence on the matter heretofore.

Gulf Coast Community College < 1. one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Panama City, FL, along the coastline of the "Redneck Riviera."

Gulfport V.A. Hospital < 1. Veteran’s Administration hospital in Gulfport suffering financial woes; 2. hospital that Thames impetuously sought to acquire for USM, before being rebuffed by the IHL Board.

Gunther, William < 1. Professor of Economics at USM and former Dean of USM’s College of Business Adminstration; 2. one of the 9 USM deans terminated by Shelby Thames in the university restructuring plan (Gunther effectively got a raise out of the deal); 3. catalyst behind dome press conference in final days of his administration to announce pledge of over $5 million in gifts to fund new College of Business building. Arguably last positive thing to occur in the dome, and the whole event was likely very difficult for Thames to swallow, given that he had fired an individual (Gunther) who was favored very heavily by USM’s wealthiest business alums. Not likely, at this point, that these funds will ever materialize; 4. in recent days, Gunther, who has studied USM’s "brand," has pointed out that the value of USM’s brand has certainly been "diminished" by Thames’ presidency, and "repairing the school’s image will begin when Thames steps down as president" (see The Hattiesburg American 4/9/04).