Taylor, Clint < 1. Managing Partner, Purple Parrot Company, Inc. of Hattiesburg; 2. Crescent City Grill manager who wrote a pro-Thames letter to The Hattiesburg American on 3/10/2004 expressing the view that there was no hard evidence indicating that morale on USM’s campus was low (see campus morale) and that USM faculty were a bit too emotional; 3. business at the Crescent City Grill, Purple Parrot, and Mahogany Bar is reportedly down, but it can’t be blamed on a faculty boycott unless Clint Taylor presents hard evidence of such from a boycott sensor/boycott sensing device; 4. doesn’t seem to understand that his establishments got screwed by Shelby Thames’ and Ken Malone’s Downtown Lunch Express (see 2 Trolleys) plan that had the 2 USM trolleys exit campus and head east on Hardy Street to the many fine downtown restaurants (i.e., in the opposite direction of Taylor’s eateries).

Taylor, Gene < 1. U.S. Representative from Mississippi; 2. goaded Thames into announcing that USM would take over operation of the Gulfport V.A. Hospital, even though Thames did not have IHL Board permission to accept such a responsibility.

$10,000 donation to USM < word-on-the-street amount necessary for retired USM professors to be awarded emeritus status from the appropriate authority within the Thames administration.

tenure < 1. special employment status granted to those in the academy, in an effort to secure academic freedom for the professorate; 2. apparently, it is a somewhat inferior protection to Thames job insurance.

tenured Associate Professor of English at the University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY < professional title describing an individual who has produced a very good scholarly record in English (i.e., journal articles/monographs/books, etc.) over about a five to six year (or more) period at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, all the while teaching the requisite course load within the Department of English at the University of Kentucky in Lexington; 2. professional title describing an individual very familiar with campus life at the University of Kentucky in Lexington; 3. an individual who, in addition to scholarly and teaching endeavors done under the auspices of the University of Kentucky in Lexington, has performed various committee service tasks for the University of Kentucky in Lexington, and has been involved in community service events in the city of Lexington, KY; 4. person whom the other faculty members in the Department of English at the University of Kentucky in Lexington have heard of and seen before.

tenured faculty club < disparaging characterization of college/university professors made by Roy Klumb (see Klumb and Klumber), the IHL yahoo who appeared on David Elliott’s talk-show (WLOX) at 10:30p.m. on 5/2/2004.

Thames authority < 1. governing authority believed to have been given to Shelby Thames by the IHL Board when Thames was coronated as USM’s President (in the Spring of 2002). 2. IHL authority held by Thames, giving him the right to flog, without regard to faculty/staff handbooks, tenure, academic freedom, other rules, or simple decorum; 3. authority given to Thames espoused by many in the private sector (see Billy Hewes and Krandall Howell), as well as some on the IHL Board (see Roy Klumb and Carl Nicholson); 4. see also flog and blog.

Thames, Dana < 1. Chair of CISE at USM; 2. harbors professional jealousy, runs off competent faculty members; 3. being sued by Melissa Whiting for nepotism; 4. actual biological product (daughter) of Shelby Thames, which is more secure from employment perspective than being a product of a Thames job search; 5. got huge raise (15%) from her dad last year.

Thames job insurance < 1. employment protection provided by USM president Shelby Thames for upper-level administrators at the school; 2. job protection for administrators at USM ,superior to tenure, and unavailable to USM faculty; 3. phrase coined by Abbenyi Abbenyi in an editorial cartoon.

Thames job search < 1. the type of job search to fill an upper-level (or other) administrative appointment without placing advertisements in the proper venue, seeking candidates across a national spectrum, or following EEOC regulations; 2. job search popularized by USM president Shelby Thames, where family, friends and cronies are hired to important management positions without doing a national job search.

Thames plantation < Robbie Ward’s reference to USM President Shelby Thames’ 19th Century-style (mis)management of USM.

Thames Regime playing cards < 1. brilliant satire of the Thames administration, and its scandals, by The Student Printz; 2. The Student Printz’s satirical look at the Thames Regime through cartoons depicting Thames administration officials’ faces on a deck of playing cards, much like the Iraqi criminals were depicted by U.S./coalition forces in the "hunt" for them that ensued after formal fighting in Iraq dissipated (2003); cartoon captioned with the question (paraphrase): Have you seen these Thames Regime officials?

Thames, Shelby < 1. the current and embattled President of the University of Southern Mississippi who fired two professors without due process and committed countless other egregious acts; 2. "bucket and paddle" scientist; 3. Dome Gnome (his personal favorite); 4. Saddam. 5. Pocket Mussolini; 6. see Napoleon complex; 7. bootyologist; 8. calls Billy Hewes a credit to his community and a great citizen, and was pleased to offer Hewes an invitation to address the USMGC class of ‘04; 9. peckerhead (see Dennis Pauley); 10. wafflenose (message board thread); 11. hammer-headed buffoon (see David Berry).

Thames toast < 1. what USM’s president became after he charged distinguished professors with "malicious" acts, attempted to discharge them, using only unethically captured private emails as evidence; 2. result of appearing before a retired Mississippi Supreme Court Justice with no evidence. 3. rumored to be a favorite food of gnomes. [guest Glossary entry by outside observer]

Thames Trickeration < 1. Thames administration strategy of making big announcements/plans, that it has no intention and/or ability to follow-through upon, to divert attention away from how bad things really are around campus. 2. examples of the strategy include announcements/plans related to expanding M.M. Roberts Stadium, building an over (or under) pass at the Elam Arms intersection of Hardy Street for students to cross safely, renovating the Albertson’s Building for the Nursing School, renovating/adding box seating to Reed Green Coliseum, renovating old Hattiesburg High School and moving the Department of Art downtown, building a tennis complex for USM’s varsity tennis teams, assuming control of the Gulfport V.A. Hospital and integrating it into the College of Health, building a U.S. Olympic training facility, getting USM’s enrollment to 20,000 within his first 4/5 years as president, building an innovation/research park on top of the old Van Hook Golf Course, and taking Southern Miss to the top!

The Thames 12 < 1. Gained any weight in the past several weeks (months)? If so, it could be due to chronic stress, caused by Thames administration crises. "Chronic stress causes elevated cortisol levels and alters your metabolism so that fats are produced and stored in the body more easily, especially in the abdominal area" (Bruce McEwen, PhD, quoted in Cosmopolitan magazine). And this is true even if you don’t eat more than usual (which you probably are doing). To avoid (or shed) The Thames 12, remember to eat a balanced diet, get plenty of exercise, drink lots of fluids, and try to get a good amount of sleep at night; 2. weight-gain concept similar to "the freshman 15".

Thames Underworld < name given to the set of questionable (shady) characters USM’s president sometimes associates with.

Thames’ un-named donors (of $3.5 million to finish Trent Lott Building campaign) < Mississippi taxpayers.

Thamesectomy < 1. life-saving surgical procedure USM needs, and stat. As part of the procedure, the admin "margins" will be examined and possibly removed if they too are determined to be infected, as they are thought to be from a cursory examination; 2. still waiting on the IHL yahoos to sign the "consent forms" and perform the much-needed procedure (the IHL Board is acting too much like an academic HMO).

Thank you, Dr. Thames < 1. short statement reportedly made by Lisa Mader to Shelby Thames, immediately following the conclusion of the dome press conference, that was accidentally captured by a live microphone in use by WUSM (for broadcasting the conference). Statement was reportedly uttered by Mader in a sweet, sexy, sultry, seductive, steamy, sensual, scrumptious, scintillating and satiny (all the "s" words) way; 2. Try this tip: next time your in a hot and steamy situation with your significant other, use the phrase yourself at just the right moment to heighten the pleasure. Oh, and be sure to use the "Dr. Thames" part and not your partner’s name, it works even better. You’ll just have to explain everything to your mate after you’re done.

they’re just jealous of Shelby’s accomplishments < argument made by pro-Thames citizens built on the premise that USM faculty are simply jealous of the professional accomplishments (in the polymer science area) of Shelby Thames, and, to hide their own professional shortcomings, the faculty are doing everything possible to bring down his USM presidency (see also a day’s work for a day’s pay, Shelby’s the boss, and those liberal college profs).

third side < 1. fictitious, nonexistent side of a(n) argument or controversy, where spineless political leaders run and hide when the heat turns up; 2. political term coined by newly-elected Hub SGA president Walt Cain.

$38,600 < legal expenses incurred by Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer defending themselves against Thames authority and solid grounds.

30 seconds < approximately the amount of time Shelby Thames abided by the Glamser-Stringer settlement term stating neither party would disparage the other.

39-1-1 < vote of USM’s Faculty Senate (yes-no-abstain) on 5/7/04 asking the IHL Board to request the resignation of Shelby Thames.

Thomas Cooley Law School < 1. East Lansing institution where Angeline Dvorak received her JD, and also went to pump up her resume.

3701 Jamestown Road < 1. USM Presidential mansion; 2. since May of 2002, also known as the Berghof.

those liberal college profs < 1. an argument made pro-Thames citizens, that USM’s professors and students are liberal commie pinkos out to attack the conservative values of Shelby Thames and the external constituents (i.e., Mississippi taxpayers) he represents; 2. good example of the argument is given by A.E. Griffing of Jackson (see letters to editor of The Clarion-Ledger on 5/9/2004) when he says "Sociology professor Frank Glamser and English professor Gary Stringer and other professors teaching courses not requiring irrefutable formulas, such as two plus two equals four, have latitude for twisting the courses to fit their own [liberal political] agendas.. . President Shelby Thames, conditioned to logic in science, should be encouraged in his stand for the betterment of USM."; 3. this argument is often made by pro-Thames business people very likely at the insistence/urging of Shelby Thames himself (see also a day’s work for a day’s pay, Shelby’s the boss and they’re just jealous of Shelby’s accomplishments).

Tim Hudson’s Playboy lifestyle < reference to the fact that USM Provost Tim Hudson earns $145,000/yr., lives free-of-charge in the beach side USMGC Provost’s home (which received about $100,000 of renovations last year), has a University-provided apartment in Hattiesburg, drives a University car, and has an abbey in the French countryside (well, USM does, but Hudson treats it as his own). [guest Glossary entry by Quiet-but-Perceptive]

Towering Inferno < the large conflagration that nearly occurred last year at a fraternity house at USM when a disgruntled USM student doused the place with gasoline and attempted to light it while all the brothers were asleep (happened in the middle of the night). The chapter’s president claimed that none of the house’s emergency exits was functional — a claim Lisa Mader disputed. Mader produced Physical Plant documentation showing that work on the exits had been done on the afternoon that the near mass-killing occurred. The problem is that same documentation showed that the work had been done in the afternoon, while the attack — what would’ve been the largest disaster to ever befall the USM campus — took place in the A.M. The Hattiesburg American published the timing of both events (i.e., the attack and the repairs), but the trouble is no one noticed the discrepancy. The chapter’s president maintains that Lisa Mader’s accounting of the events of that day are inaccurate (i.e., a lie).

TPD < 1. Thames Police Detachment; 2. small detail of USM police officers that escorts Shelby Thames to high-level administrative meetings and other campus wide activities.

Trent Lott Center for Excellence in ED & E < 1. new facility for USM’s Economic Development department; 2. $12 million house for Internet-based programs; 3. see Haley Barbour; 4. see Trent Lott.

Trenton Thunder < AA club in the New York Yankees organization that Angeline Dvorak actually pitched for from 1997-2000 (from Rob McDuff’s baseball analogy in his Glamser-Stringer hearings opening statement); 2. Ashland Community College.

truth table < graphical exhibit created by truth4usm showing web of relationships between USM administrators and the commercial activities/entities Shelby Thames is bringing into the fold.

truth4usm < 1. moderator of the website firethames.com; 2. winner of webster’s Glossary contest (see job snowball).

Tuesdays against Thames < 1. what Tuesdays with Thames has morphed into; 2. proof that Thames Peter Principled the Peter Principle.

Tuesdays with Thames < Tuesday meetings between Thames and students at the Hub that became necessary after the Peter Principle became clear (regarding Thames’ ability to lead USM).

Tuesdays with Thames II < 1. what Tuesdays against Thames has morphed into; 2. like the original Tuesdays with Thames, though now the only attendees are a handful of economic development students (who are forced to attend by Ken Malone, Angeline Dvorak and Tim Hudson; see HA, 2/14/04), Janet Braswell and Abbenyi Abbenyi (who goes only to get new cartoon ideas).

turtle President < 1. a university president who’s not afraid to stick his neck out and with whom the institution can get on down the road (Bud Holmes quote); 2. the problem is, that road can lead to disaster.

25% & 0% < representation of African-Americans in the USM student body and in upper levels of the Thames administration, respectively.

2 Trolleys < 1. the two trolleys USM "acquired" from the City of Hattiesburg, used to transport USM faculty/staff/students to restaurants in downtown Hattiesburg, all under to guise of economic development; 2. brainstorm of Ken Malone, and apparently a complete bust; 3. known as the Downtown Lunch Express.