I have read many people on here that hate on USM sports.  It is wrong to have that feeling.  USM is the best.  My story is like many fans have and is why our sports teams are among the nations best.

I got to be a fan when I came to school at USM.  Before then, I was an Ole Miss fan and a Jones Bobcats fan.  I couldn't get into Ole Miss after I finished at Jones though so I had to stay close to home and go to USM.  I'm from Collins and I guess it was USM or Jackson State so I chose USM. 

My time at USM was great.  Our football team was tough and the Nasty Bunch defense was awesome!  We always went to tailgate at Loyalty Field for at least 15 minutes before all 5 home games every year. Everybody would watch somebody's TV at their camper to see how other teams had done that day but most of the time we played on Thursday nights so maybe some of the locals who were Ole Miss or Mississippi State fans would stop by to watch our game.  That way they didn't have to miss the big game in Starkville or Oxford that weekend.  I hate Ole Miss and State fans.  They act so high and mighty just because their teams are in the SEC.  They're scared to play us in football cause they know they'll lose.  Anyway we'd go to the game and scream and yell real loud.  The refs usually stunk because they'd call some bullcrap calls on us, and the fans would get into it.  We'd start cussing out the refs and the other team cause that's what makes The Rock the most intimidating college football stadium in America.  Anyway when USM would play one of they're 7 away games we'd have to watch Ole Miss or State or LSU on TV since their fans own the TV networks and conspire against USM
to keep us from getting our due.

Back in the 80s USM was so good that they could beat anybody.  We beat Florida State and Alabama within a four year period.  People started calling us the Notre Dame of the South.  Ole Miss and State teamed up to shut down our recruiting by buying players away from us.  After all we were winning so why would anybody want to go play for a couple of bottom dwelling SEC teams with racist fans?  USM currently has the #3 graduation rate in the nation for athletes.  Plus USM fans love their players for LIFE.  I guess the dirty SEC money was enough to get them to go elsewhere.  I didn't want that type of player anyway.  I only want players who want to play for USM.

Anyway when we were at the games we'd start doing all the classic cheers like Nasty Bunch! and To The Top! every time the announcer would say Southern Miss.  We have the greatest traditions in college football. Other teams may talk about hall of fame players, SEC championships, or national championships, but all I had to do was point to Nugget (R.I.P.) the real live Golden Eagle Mascot, and Golden Eagle Pride would flow out of me and overcome those nothing accomplishments.  Or I could point to the retired jersey of our greatest player ever, Ray Guy.  Ray punted in the NFL for a lot of years, and any real football fan will tell you he's the best player to come out of the Southeast in 50 years.

Anyway, we'd start yelling at the other team and throwing things at them to really Rock The Rock.  Something would almost always happen though and the refs would give the game to the other team about 50% of the time.  We'd usually win at The Rock though since we can't get the big boys to come play in Hattiesburg.  They're scared of The Rock cause they know they'll lose.  We always have to go on the road to play the big name schools.  They say its because their stadiums are 2 or 3 times bigger than The Rock, but we all know their scared to come play us on our field. 

By the time the game was over we'd go to the End Zone and hang out with only the real USM fans.  The walls were covered with great newspaper clippings that were framed.  They were from our greatest games like the time we beat FSU or LSU or Alabama or Auburn.  We might have gone 1-9 those years, but we sure showed those SEC jerks that we could play with them.  They'd say it was because their best players were hurt, but we know they just couldn't stand to lose to poor little Southern.  SEC teams talk about all their mythical championships, but those games still mean more to me than any mythical national championship could.  There were pictures on the wall of our greatest players like Ray Guy and Brett Favre.  There might have even been a picture of that good basketball player who played in the late 80s, I don't remember.

We'd stay out late and drink a lot of beer then get home by 3a.m. so we could crash.  I usually had 8a.m. classes on Fridays so I'd have to get up at 7:30a.m. so I could shower and study if I had a test.  Friday classes were the pits but I had to take them so I could get my 40 hours
in at work - gotta pay for that new Mustang.  USM was easy.  At Jones they taught you like 30 things for the test and asked about 25 of them. At USM they taught about fifty things but the tests were take-home.  I thought I was stupid when I left Jones but I 4.0'ed USM and graduated with a 2.75 GPA. 

When Friday's classes were over I had to get back home to Collins so I could work my weekend shifts and hang out with my high school buddies. Plus I was dating this little cutie at Collins HS and I wanted to make sure to get married to her before she went to college so she wouldn't run off with another guy.  One of my buddies girlfriends met a guy from Mississippi State at a church retreat and broke up with my buddy to be with that loser.  He got his engineering degree and now they live in some crappy town in Texas like Austin or something.  Anyway, it can't be as good as the 'Burg.  I hate Ole Miss and State people.  They think they're so good because they go to law school or medical school and can afford to move out from their parents house when they graduate from college.  They're stuck up and inbred.

I'm teaching English and coaching a little JayVee football in south Mississippi now.  Well I don't really coach I just wash uniforms but it keeps me close to the action and I did get to meet Coach Bower once when he came to recruit one of our players.  He signed my GoGold t-shirt.
Anyway, I'm near the coast now.  That's as close to Hattiesburg as I could get cause everybody wants to live and work in the Hub City!  Why would anybody want to leave such a cool town?  I mean it's got the mall, Wal-Mart, and THE University of Southern Mississippi with it's great traditions.  The academics are OK too I guess.  New restaurants are popping up all over.  They've gotten a whole bunch of great places to eat. I heard they're even getting an Olive Garden soon.  When that happens I can quit eating at Panino's when I come cause I don't think they support the Eagle Club.  I don't eat at restaurants that aren't Eagle Club members unless I really want their food, but then I don't tip.

What's up with all the restaurants in town's waiters wearing Alabama, LSU, Auburn, Ole Miss, State, or South Alabama caps?  I mean, you'd think that they'd learn who to cater to if they want a tip.  If I eat at a restaurant and the waiter has on another teams' hat, I don't leave a
tip even if the food and service was perfect.  That's the only way to teach them a lesson.

I keep up with USM sports on the internet.  Their's this one site that is full of real USM fans.  We talk about moving the program forward.  We talk about games like when we beat Florida State and Auburn.  Sometimes we talk about Coach Bower.  Coach Bower used to be a great quarterback for USM but as a head coach he stinks.  I mean, he's black and gold through and through but he just can't get the program to the next level. He has got a great graduation rate though.  I mean we're to the point now that big name schools should have to play us home and home series. If they won't then Mr. G the athletic director tells them to kiss off. I'd rather play Sewanee at home than USC at USC two years in a row.  I mean, we're above that.  We were poised to make a big jump a few years ago until that outsider Horace Flemming the so-called president of Southern Miss University unemphasized athletics and knocked us back 10 years.  We were about to be asked to join the SEC but Flemming screwed that up for us.  Since then Loserville passed us up and went to the Big East conference along with Cincinobody.  Those jerks just followed the money.  They didn't have any conference loyalty.  And they were scared to play USM every year cause we owned them. 

The only reason the Big Least wanted those losers was because they are in big TV markets.  If they had wanted a quality team there's no way they would have passed USM over.  It's all about the money.  Anyway, I can't focus any energy on anything else until we get our next NCAA national championship in football...I can't even think about getting married until then.  That girl I used to date from Collins High School went to LSU and is married to an LSU grad.  It stinks because LSU is a bunch of losers, but I started going with a girl from Brookhaven.
She's real pretty.  I still love my USM sports more though.

We have upgraded our basketball program a lot in the past few years.  We finally got rid of that loser James Green and got a real coach - National Coach of the Year Larry Eustachy.  He's going to bring us back to the glory years like when we won the National Invitational
Tournament in the 1980s.  That year USM fans invaded the Boston Garden and sold the place out and beat Duke.  The Hattiesburg American said it was the greatest basketball game ever played.  Of course the Jackson Clarion Liar only ran the story on page D 17 of the Tuesday edition.  Jerks.  They only cover Ole Miss and State sports.  I hate Ole Miss and State people.  That's why I don't subscribe to the Clarion Liar.  Anyway Coach Eustachy has us on the right track.  We'll be in the Sweet Sixteen in a year or two.  He just had to get rid of all the players who didn't really want to be at USM.  Once he gets a team full of guys who want to be at USM we'll be a top 10 program.  We have the facilities and the fan base, we just needed a better coach and some better players. 

NITChampburg, the honorary area dedicated to that great NIT championship team was dedicated a couple of years ago and has a great sign out front. I had never heard of NITChampburg before then, but Dr. Thames said that it was a Southern Miss tradition.  He's a great man and has done more for the university than all the rest of the faculty put together.  If not for him we might have had to drop to Division II in sports. 

Baseball is our real sport.  We dominate at the Pete.  We go to The Roost which is our hangout in Right Field.  You can drink beer there and watch the Golden Eagle Baseball Team whip up on people.   Corky likes to keep games close and not blow anybody out cause he's got class.  Ole Miss and State will play us in baseball and we win our fair share.  They say it's because they use their second-level pitchers, but that's just there excuse.  Our baseball dominates them.  They talk about going to the College World Series and being one of the best 8 teams in America, but I'd rather win the governor's cup any day of the week.  I wish we could go right from football to baseball and skip basketball.  Its boring anyway.

Whenever we beat Ole Miss or State in anything, I make sure to get up early so I can wear my USM shirt and hat to Wal-Mart and the mall first thing in the morning.  When I see somebody I know whose an Ole Miss or State fan I make sure to ask them who won the game.they get real hacked and walk off mad.  That's what they get for living in south MS and not rooting for USM over all others.  I hate Ole Miss and State people. Anyway, when we beat Ole Miss or State in anything I drive around with my USM flags on my truck and blast some Tim McGraw.  He's friends with Brett Favre, the greatest USM quarterback and the greatest NFL player ever.  I sure hope he'll come back for another year.  If those lazy jerks on the Packers would try to play hard, Brett could beat anybody.

I've never understood why the City of Hattiesburg has never gotten behind USM.  USM has done so much for Hattiesburg and Hattiesburg has never done anything for USM.  Look at that stupid stadium bond issue. Expanding USM athletics would benefit everybody but those East Hattiesburg residents started that No Not Now crap and ruined it for us. They just wanted to get their fingers in the pie and couldn't keep out of what doesn't concern them.  They just didn't want to pay they're fair share.  We were only talking about a little tax raise on food and hotels to benefit USM.  Why can't they pay their share?  I tell you what it is. It's all these Ole Miss and State fans who live in Hattiesburg.  They hate USM and want to see our football team die or go back to Division II.  Well its not gonna happen.  We're the #1 program in the state.  If
Ole Miss and State weren't in the SEC, they'd be playing D-2 ball already and USM would be getting ready for a fourth consecutive national championship.  One day they'll beg us to play them. 

There are only two real negatives about USM, and we're working on those. One is the faculty.  Their lazy and don't work for they're money.  Their liberal and against Christians.  I hated them when I was in school even though they were easy.  I acted like I liked them but as soon as I
graduated I got to hate them to their faces.  Jerks. Dr. Thames has run some of the worst one's off and is cracking down on they're golf habit.  Maybe now their earning they're money.  When my tuition money payed their salary they sure didn't.

The second negative is John Cox, the radio announcer for Southern Miss sports.  He gets too excited when the other team does well.  I want a homer to call the games.  Let the national networks be more fair or whatever.  I want an announcer who isn't afraid to call it bull**** when one of our players gets called for a blindside late hit on a quarterback or a helmet to helmet hit.  That's just plain old Nasty Bunch defense and other teams should expect it.  It makes them fear The Rock.  Anyway, USM fans don't agree on everything, but we do want Cox fired now.

Mr. G and Dr. Thames have a plan for USM athletics.  We've got to get to 20,000 students so we can get more money to expand our football stadium. More tuition and fewer lazy faculty means more money to football.  I've seen the mathematical formula that's used to calculate the numbers and it works for real.  If we can drop down to 2 colleges in the university we can save enough to build the biggest stadium in the nation.  It will hold 150,000 screaming Southern Miss fans and will be ready by the time we win our next NCAA Division I football national championship.  Then I can rub it in my bosses face cause he got his undergrad from State and
his masters from Ole Miss and I've been working for him for two years now.  My old boss was a State grad and before that I worked for an LSU grad.  Their idiots and I can't wait to rub it in.  Until then, I'll just say: S-OU-THERN! Southern Mississippi! U-S-M!  I hate Ole Miss and State!  I hate the SEC!