- Your only bank deposits are marked "FEMA." - You have lived in three different cities in the last month. - You can distinguish between flood and wind damage and know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side." - Your ear has stayed hot from using your cell phone. - Your day is spent on hold or talking to recordings. - You respond "None" to the blanks for address, phone, or occupation on questionnaires. - Your SSN isn't a secret; it's written in Sharpie on your arms. - You're on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot and Lowe's. - You own more than three large coolers. - Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight. - Your friends now live across the Unites States. - Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof. - You no longer pay electricity, water, cable or any other home-related bills. - Your clothes smell like Grandma's attic. - You look for mold before using any of your possessions. - There is a roll of tarpaper in your garage. - Your "drive-thru" meals consist of MRE's and bottled water. - You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker. - Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas. - You have spent hours bumper-to-bumper in traffic to go nowhere. - You have gained an uncanny knowledge of government assistant programs from Red Cross to unemployment. - Your social conversations center on the details of demolition, mold removal, and roof repair and ice. - You now have your hair color formula in your address book. - You have 3-7 people living in an apartment smaller than the one you rented when you first married. - Your patience is thin. You have a new fridge and probably hauled it home on a truck yourself instead of waiting for delivery. - You have cussed out anyone who does not respond to your requests. - You alternate between feeling like screaming, crying, laughing uncontrollably, and jumping from the 10th floor of your Red Cross donated hotel room. - You can no longer make logical decisions since nothing seems logical anymore. - You realize what a great life you had with a crew of great friends. - You realize how comfortable you were ... and you just want to be comfortable AGAIN!
-You stand in your house and thank God with all sincerity that only two trees came through. -You stand in your house and thank God with all sincerity that you're standing in your house at all.