H.A. Late Update - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Jul 19, 2005

H.A. Late Update

Date: Jul 19, 2005

Is there any truth to this statement by Dean Fos?

Peter Fos, dean of the College of Health, said he reduced the medical technology program from 136 hours to 130 and fears any further reductions will seriously impact the program.

“We’ve got the best program in the United States of America and we’re graduating highly qualified medical technicians for the state of Mississippi,” he said. “We’re saying we’ll reduce six hours and we’re confident we are still going to put out a quality product, but any less than that I’m not sure.”

Robert Campbell

Date: Jul 19, 2005

Robert Campbell wrote:

We’ve got the best program in the United States of America

If he actually said this it must have been as a guest of Jay Leno. At least it was limited to the USA.

Date: Jul 19, 2005

Robert,

I vaguely recollect that a number of years ago our own Shelby Thames, in concert with a local physician, set about designing an artificial heart. Only a lack of funding prevented the successful completion of this ambitious project. (Does anyone else remember this inspirational story?) Apparently you are unaware that Hattiesburg is a world-renowned center for research in medical technology. And everything else!

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Mr. Wizard wrote:

Robert, I vaguely recollect that a number of years ago our own Shelby Thames, in concert with a local physician, set about designing an artificial heart. Only a lack of funding prevented the successful completion of this ambitious project. (Does anyone else remember this inspirational story?)

I am happy to report that the artificial heart project was successfully completed some years ago. I flew to Hattiesburg and implanted the device in Dr. Thames chest cavity myself. It is a highly sophisticated polymer coated titanium 4-chamber pump which utilizes pig's heart valves and is driven by a small nuclear power module. The device should operate for approximately 20 years before requiring replacement of the power cell. To date we are unaware of any significant untoward side effects. I am told that Dr. Thames now glows in the dark, and will occasionally emit a series of loud "oinks," but the pump itself is functioning beautifully.

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Christian Barnard, Jr. wrote:

I am told that Dr. Thames now glows in the dark, and will occasionally emit a series of loud "oinks," but the pump itself is functioning beautifully.

This explains all the mud he slung on Drs. Glamser & Stringer...

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Invictus wrote:

Christian Barnard, Jr. wrote: I am told that Dr. Thames now glows in the dark, and will occasionally emit a series of loud "oinks," but the pump itself is functioning beautifully.

This explains all the mud he slung on Drs. Glamser & Stringer...

I am only speculating of course, but I rather doubt it was mud that Dr. Thames slung. I warned at the time of the transplant that we could not predict what swine-like behavior he might manifest as a result of introducing foreign DNA via the porcine heart valves. Post-op reports have indicated that Dr. Thames now has a fondness for snorting and wallowing in excement, which I suspect he also slings with abandon.

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Christian Barnard, Jr. wrote:

I am only speculating of course, but I rather doubt it was mud that Dr. Thames slung. I warned at the time of the transplant that we could not predict what swine-like behavior he might manifest as a result of introducing foreign DNA via the porcine heart valves. Post-op reports have indicated that Dr. Thames now has a fondness for snorting and wallowing in excement, which I suspect he also slings with abandon.

On the sentimental side, this explains why he is reported to break into tears whenever he drives past Letha's...

Date: Jul 20, 2005

To be serious for a moment, few people on this board seem to know that President Thames actually OWNS a pet pig. My car once broke down in front on his house. When I went up to the house to see if I could use the phone to call the Triple A, a very friendly pig waddled up to me, wagging (or twirling) its tail and grunting with great affection. Oddly enough, though, the pig had a wooden leg. I asked Dr. Thames (who had just driven up in his golf cart) if he could explain the wooden leg.

He said, "You've got to understand: we love that pig. That pig is very special to us. Without that pig, I wouldn't be here. Do you realize that when the house caught on fire a few years ago in the middle of the night, that pig ran from room to room, squealing and tugging on our covers to let us know we were in danger!? Why, that pig even ran next door to alert the neighbors to call the fire department. We owe our very lives to that pig."

I said, "That's wonderful! But what about the wooden leg." To which Dr. Thames replied, "Well, a pig that special -- well, you wouldn't want to eat him all at once!"

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Got to love the classics.

Date: Jul 20, 2005

Full Story:

Board plan to cut credit hours concerns USM deans

By Reuben Mees

http://www.hattiesburgamerican.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050720/NEWS01/507200307/1002

Date: Jul 20, 2005

USM Sympathizer wrote:

To be serious for a moment, few people on this board seem to know that President Thames actually OWNS a pet pig. My car once broke down in front on his house. When I went up to the house to see if I could use the phone to call the Triple A, a very friendly pig waddled up to me, wagging (or twirling) its tail and grunting with great affection. Oddly enough, though, the pig had a wooden leg. I asked Dr. Thames (who had just driven up in his golf cart) if he could explain the wooden leg. He said, "You've got to understand: we love that pig. That pig is very special to us. Without that pig, I wouldn't be here. Do you realize that when the house caught on fire a few years ago in the middle of the night, that pig ran from room to room, squealing and tugging on our covers to let us know we were in danger!? Why, that pig even ran next door to alert the neighbors to call the fire department. We owe our very lives to that pig." I said, "That's wonderful! But what about the wooden leg." To which Dr. Thames replied, "Well, a pig that special -- well, you wouldn't want to eat him all at once!"

Dr. Thames owned a pet pig. Where do you think he obtained those porcine heart valves, and the ham sandwiches Mrs. Thames served the OR surgery team following his transplant? Yes, the Thames family's beloved pet pig was sacrificed, but a little of him lives on today, in Shelby's titanium heart.

Date: Jul 22, 2005

Board, USM reach deal on credit hours

By Reuben Mees

http://www.hattiesburgamerican.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050722/SOUTHERNMISS/507220312/1050