Thames Drops Graduation Standbys - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: May 13, 2005

Thames Drops Graduation Standbys

Date: May 13, 2005

There are no manners. I love Americans, but you have no gravitas. No sense of ceremony or occasion or proper solemnity. It is not Le Thames, it is the parents who do not say, "Sit still and look forward" or like my petite grandmere, pinch the arms a little bit so that the child knows what is respectful. Now it is the grandmere who is shouting from the sidelines or talking on her little telephone or gossiping loudly in church or the motion pictures.

I attended your graduation before Thames, and it was tres horrible then. It is the stadium perhaps? They think it is all a game?

Date: May 13, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Name Dropper
"Thames didn't quote the student who said, "To be the best, you have to be taught by the best."

Also noticeably missing were the "Southern Miss! To the top!" fiascos.

I will have to say that the pitiful manner in which graduation is conducted these days is shameful. Students don't stand for processional. Students have messages taped to their mortarboards (is this high school??). Students are waving constantly to family members during the commencement address. Students are acting up while crossing the stage. Men do not remove mortarboards for the alma mater.

Commencement is yet another casualty of the Thames administration."

The gravitas of USM's graduation ceremony rises to the value of the degree, and no higher.

Date: May 13, 2005

Does the president still carry the "Mace" down the aisle at graduation? That ritual always brought a smile to my face.

Date: May 13, 2005

Isn't there a special mace-bearer? It's not the president, it's an honorary thing.

btw, anybody who attends Trinity will see the same thing -- they have a verger, an office held over from the Church of England. Some historian fill us in, I'm sure it's Roman -- the lector?

Date: May 13, 2005

Was the President of Faculty Senate, Dr. Beckett, introduced? Did he receive a standing ovation?

Date: May 13, 2005

introduced--yes. standing ovation--no.

Date: May 13, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Pomp and Circumstance
"Does the president still carry the "Mace" down the aisle at graduation? That ritual always brought a smile to my face. "

There was a rumor that Dr. Thames wanted to approach the faculty with some mace, but it was in a can with a spray button.

Date: May 13, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Miss Gravitas
"Isn't there a special mace-bearer? It's not the president, it's an honorary thing. btw, anybody who attends Trinity will see the same thing -- they have a verger, an office held over from the Church of England. Some historian fill us in, I'm sure it's Roman -- the lector?"

I was referring to the double meaning of the term "Mace." Specifically, the substance used to disperse crowds cf. the mace at Trinity.

Date: May 13, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: USM Sympathizer
"There was a rumor that Dr. Thames wanted to approach the faculty with some mace, but it was in a can with a spray button."

I'm glad somebody picked up on the humor, USM Sympathizer. Somehow it seemed to have escaped Miss Gravitas.

Date: May 13, 2005

The USM Graduation Program used to contain a description of the Mace tradition. I sure hope that is one part of our institutional memory that will not be destroyed.

Date: May 13, 2005

A lot of things escape me. Youth, money, men . . .

Date: May 13, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Miss Gravitas
" A lot of things escape me. Youth, money, men . . ."

I had you pictured as young, rich, and married. If it were not for that perception, I would have sworn that you were the de Guerre lady

Date: May 13, 2005

Working late at the computer this evening, and could not avoid seeing this remark about Miss Gravitas.
Dear friends, gentlemen do not "escape" Mlle. de Guerre. She has such high standards, that the few who are allowed the privilege of her company deeply appreciate the honor. Do you not recall my list of several nights past of the requirements for her gentlemen callers?

We are continuing to work on a menu for a celebration Mlle de Guerre trusts will occur. Suggestions are most welcome. However, champagne and spinach dip are definitely on the list. (Our old friends understand about the spinach dip.)

When I left the de Guerre home earlier, Mlle. was lying down with a cool cloth on her forehead and a small glass of champagne by her side. I was most remiss in allowing her to run out of her favorite Godiva dark chocolate raspberry creams, but she was fortifying herself with warm brie on wonderful little crackers instead. None of it very good for her, but I have stopped making dietary comments, which are unheeded. Don't let me get started on THAT.
She had apparently taken the Vette out for a spin, to "calm the mind" as she put it, being somewhat upset by earlier posts. It was probably not mind-calming for her fellow drivers; I try to avoid riding with her. We really, really do need that new chauffeur, but no more ED doctoral candidates, please. Send us a nice English major who will be around for six or seven years.

I will close for now. Congratulations on living through another semester of your hell, as our dear friend Professor Judd so aptly described it. Good evening to all.

Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

Date: May 13, 2005

In the future please refrain from using words like "gravitas". My buds on Eagle Talk will not know what the heck it means -- and that will frustrate them to no end when they visit this board. They will have no recourse other than to claim that faculty do not work nearly hard enough, or they would not have spare time in their summers off to learn such words.

Date: May 13, 2005

Dear friend, Mademoiselle de Guerre is not faculty. Faculty do not drink champagne in bubble baths, regardless of what those boys think. Mlle. de Guerre has leisure to ponder the great issues of life such as the meaning of education, the social importance of good behavior, which gentleman's dinner invitation to accept, and what shoes to wear on that occasion.
Mlle de Guerre is well read, although with an unfortunate taste for murder mysteries. She did contemplate obtaining the PhD, but as she told you earlier, was gently and kindly dissuaded by dear Professor Wallace. She admires Professor Wallace to the extent of attempting to slog her way through some very challenging 19th century novels, but is not making much progress. I'm afraid that when the new Harry Potter novel comes out, Mrs. Gaskell will be totally forgotten. I assume that Professor Wallace rightly understood that Mlle de Guerre is a bit past the optimum age for graduate study, and in any case, one really must be able to function before eleven a.m. to attend class.

Sincerely,
Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

Date: May 14, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: H. Angleterre
"Mlle de Guerre is well read, although with an unfortunate taste for murder mysteries. "

Ms. Angleterre,

May I suggest, for Mlle de Guerre, the Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries by Dorothy L. Sayers?
Lord Peter is a gentleman with whom Mlle de Guerre would be very pleased. Not only does he solve the crime, but he knows (and can afford) very fine champagne, he plays Bach quite well, and he collects Dante folios.

Sincerely,

Bunter

Date: May 14, 2005

cher Bunter,

But of course I know and adore the estimable Lord Peter. In fact, he is, you might say, the "template" for my gentlemen friends. Alas, there is so little of Lord Peter's dashing charm left in the world. However, one reason I continue to make my home in the South is that there is still an echo of it amongst gentlemen here. However, none of them has the sleek Daimler which quietly passes in the night.

Miss Angleterre does me a little injustice. I also read tres serieux, the books which sharpen the mind. I just do not have to write articles about them, thanks to le bon Dieu!

You will excuse me -- it is a tiny bit early for me, and a second cup of cafe' au lait awaits.

M de G.

C'est la guerre!

Date: May 14, 2005

Oh, and with all deference to Miss Sayers and Lord Peter, I prefer Chopin to Bach. Miss Angleterre is more the classicist, at least when she is not listening to the Beausoleil CD one of our kind friends gave her. Most interesting, this music a la Louisiane, but I do not find it aids me in contemplation. For some reason I do not understand, Dervish quite enjoys it.

Date: May 14, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Didn't Attend
"Was the President of Faculty Senate, Dr. Beckett, introduced? Did he receive a standing ovation?"

In the afternoon ceremony he was introduced first as "Dr. William Powell," but Shelby corrected himself.

Date: May 14, 2005

I hope Ms. Angleterre still remembers that I'm available for dating. I even fixed up the pick-up. It now has beautiful doors, used of course. She can even pick which color to use. One is green and the other rust color. The truck was originally white, but that was a long time. ago. Dervish would love riding in the back, if the old lady lets him out with us.

Date: May 14, 2005

Monsieur Boudreaux,

I do not think that your continued references to me as "the old lady" will endear you to Miss Angleterre. Like your earlier suggestion that the two of you appropriate my vehicle, the suggestion that you appropriate my highly-trained attack poodle will not do you any good either. Miss Angleterre is nothing if not loyal. She does have the peculiar ideas of what one should eat, always placing the petite carrote pieces within reach, when one is most in need of some chocolat, but one knows that the best interest is at heart and appreciates, mais non?

I do encourage Hermione to have a bit more fun. She is most studious and hard-working and leans too much to tweed. You should probably endeavor to present yourself in a calmer fashion to entice her. Car theft will not aid you, mon ami.

A bientot,
M. de G.

Date: May 14, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: M de G
"always placing the petite carrote pieces within reach, when one is most in need of some "

So efficient - be careful that you don't lose her to a pseudo-administrator who wants grande garrotes always placed within reach.

Date: May 14, 2005

If I graduate from here I think I will just ask them to mail my diploma

Date: May 14, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: disgusted student
"If I graduate from here I think I will just ask them to mail my diploma"

That is what they do, Disgusted Student. They only give out the diploma "folders" or covers at graduation. The diplomas are mailed All of those crossing the stage may not have completed degree requirements.

Isn't it funny that even the graduations are bogus.

Date: May 14, 2005

the only ones who get a diploma at the ceremony are doctoral students.

Date: May 14, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Reporter
"
That is what they do, Disgusted Student. They only give out the diploma "folders" or covers at graduation. The diplomas are mailed All of those crossing the stage may not have completed degree requirements.

Isn't it funny that even the graduations are bogus. "

I think that's pretty much standard practice. Seems to me my BA was done that way, and that was a LONG time ago