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Post Info TOPIC: Wanted: Stepford Faculty
Desperate Recruiter

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Wanted: Stepford Faculty
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A number of off- campus forces seem to believe that the problems at USM are caused by the faculty. They seem to believe that if the current faculty would leave the problems would evaporate. What they don't seem to understand is that the USM faculty is pretty much like any other university faculty. If you replace them with other qualified faculty, the same problems would resurface. Imagine a position advertisement designed to preclude this problem. How many applications for faculty positions would be received if the advertisement were designed like this:


ASSISTANT PROFESSOR. CANDIDATES FROM ALL ACADEMIC DISCIPLINES WILL BE CONSIDERED. Applicant must take no interest in the direction of the university and must refrain from commenting on or criticizing the administration. Applicant will have no input in decisions which affect their discipline or their program including the selection of chairs, deans, vice presidents, or future presidents. The successful applicants must be prepared to put in a days work for a days pay. Classroom presentations will be restricted to material directly related to the subject matter of the course they are assigned to teach. Faculty members will not be permitted to engage students in conversations outside the classroom on any topic other than the subject matter of the course. Candidates will be expected to be vociferous boosers of the university's sports programs and to refrain from criticizing the ethics of coaches. The successful candidates should fully understand that they may be locked out of their office and be villified in the media if they displease the administration. AAUP members need not apply.



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P.T. Barnum

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USM could actually use this advertisement without being accused of violating the principle of "truth in packaging."  If USM fails to provide prospective faculty members with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, it could easily be accused deception in recruiting. It might be a good idea to provide a copy of this advertisemt to all job candidates.



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LVN

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This seems to be exactly the kind of professor "USM Product" would like to see.

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