iss Information doesn't mean to be a Complainer, but if the other members of the Ad Hoc Emergency Committee are bound & determined to nom-inate every single one of the Freaks and Geeks that post under a semi-imaginative alias, they may have to write the weekly announcement themselves! Seeing the many posts the Mr. Wonderful's crew had to review, I suspect this Strikes a chord with them, too. Any ideas about how this could be automated, should be deposited in Invictus' Suggestion Box. Oh well, after tossing all my antimacassars across the room & Despairing for a few moments, here's the best I can do in the few minutes remaining before the Ladies Missionary Society meeting... And I shall use this announcement to toot my own horn for a change. Can you figure out how?

s USM the Universitas Quondam Et Futurus? (Or is it Universitas Quandam Et Futurus?) Or is it simply, Economic Boon of Disappointing Doggle?. What really has the average Thames casualty up in arms, lack of shared governance or No Free Parking in the unpaved Parking Lotts? If USM is Cashing Into Sloppy Education, it might just hit that elusive 20,000 student mark ... next week, if not sooner. Is this the real goal? Or is it really about Shelby Hearing his own horn above all others? You be the judge.

o be careful, folks. Every mouth has 2 sides. Even your own. Even the animals around here. To Quote a Mockingbird, what's Good for Goose, Good for Gander. And if The (feral) cat's got my tongue, it's possible that the Bird Dog Smells Something. That Barrel of Laughs probably emanates from a Barrel of Monkeys. Just remember, winnowing away the chaff involves quite a balancing act. Our old cartoon pal Elmer FUD reminds us that the Dome's spin machine might be called FUD R US, there's so much FUDslinging going on. You don't have to be the Son of a Preacher Man to know this. You don't have to be a Bionic Woman (or man). In fact, Bedpan Charlie can tell you exactly where the spin & FUD come from!

imilarly, Regarding Noetic Technology, there's very little to report. Maybe the Noetic group is developing the most innovative inventions since Thomas Edison. Maybe they're not. Who knows? We're at a loss without an org chart informer & Shelby's managers are experts at executing org chart Design on a Dime. (Robert Campbell Echoed Sentiments such as these at his Friday "marathon" seminar.)


nterestingly, both the Gym Rat & the Gym mouse have seen an important & influential former administrator working out on campus, but it seems that he will Never again say anything about how the university is operated & the direction in which it is headed. Yes, there's still Fear and loathing in the Burg. The only person who might still benefit from this is a certain Local Lawyer. Meanwhile, the AAU(R)P shows the effects of the "25 and out" principle. A Seagullable is crying Man Overboard. More than one World Class-ie Lassie (and world class lad, for that matter) has hit the road. The remaining faculty admire vitae of the dear departed & mutter, "Horatio (I knew him well)."

Well, you still have a couple of alternatives. You can fire up the grille, tap the keg & Party, me Hearties while Eden is burning, or you can fire up the Desoto FireDOME eight, tap some Flatt & Scruggs travellin' music into the music box & jingle the keys to the highway. Those who choose to remain still have to sort out the pieces & hope that what rises from the ashes isn't just another Phoenix. For them, we reiterate some of Robert Campbell's advise & award our weekly award to the poster whose nom to Three Ledger Sheets to the Wind. Follow the money.

The coveted award certificate is at the usual place.