Dear Friends,

Heavens to Betsy, the committee was literally drowning in paperwork during this Humdinger of a week!  So much so that we were seeing red while Hand Truck Harry was bringing in more of the same nom-inations.  A 6th Grade Logician was enlisted by the committee to help us sort through it all.  Invictus finally said “The buck stops here” on Friday night.  A little dewberry brandy and some tossed antimacassars (for old times’ sake) and we were off to the virtual voting box.

It was a big week for Behind the Scenes activity assisted by Sally SACS.  The delightful aspect of BtSa by the governing faculty bodies is that we actually get to share in the news through published reports.  So much more satisfying than the Trust me statements that come through Interpretors with an Alternative Explanation of events.  We’re about to see if the One Call Cures All adage holds true.  As Maverick says in one of Miss I’s favorite movies “it’s looking good so far.”  Thanks to all who participated.

There were several Little White Lies being spread this week and a clear lack of Oversight by the Imposter Patrol seemed to Compound the Problem.  The committee agreed that Something’s Fishy in our little website community right now.  A little Tough Love might be in order for one of the colleges – a college in need of a spanking – to coin a phrase.  Although we are the Welcome Wagon to new posters and the occasional Mississippi Transplants, our Poll Tax for voting rights is costlier than simply Kicking for those who have gone.  We are all sick of the sickos and it is time to Take Action against those who are perpetuating More of the same and taking the focus off the little man Behind the curtain thus Making the rich even richer.  No foolin’ this sort of board cannibalism is likely to leave everyone singing either Georgia on My Mind or Doty make my brown eyes blue.  Who’s at fault?  Who knows?  Who cares?  But, Surely Tim Hudson didn’t do it. 

The Chronicle announced graduation speakers for many universities around the country this week.  What about USM?  Are we to be Snoring during graduation on Friday the 13th from listening to some Generic Gertie or Plastic Surgeon who extols the virtues of pouring no mo’ money into public higher education?  A Graduate Advisor wants to ensure that reedin’ ritin’ and rithmatick are the foundation of 3 point land before our graduates venture off to their Journey to the center of the earth.  We don’t want them thinking that Ender Wiggins means they’ve crossed the town line.  While acknowledging that the university is looking for Dirt Cheap, we’ll be satisfied if it just gives us a speaker who doesn’t use a toothpick in public and isn’t Shelboo’s gastroenterologist.  Isn’t the university Mastercard good for anything?

Speaking of graduation makes us think how close we are to summer term.  Will your name be added to the ever-expanding Memorial Wall by then?  Are you Bowling Green bound?  Spring seems to have finally sprung.  Enjoy the weather, especially the Southern Breeze.  Take a Beach Ball over to the lake or down to the coast.  If you’re an Early Riser, forget the Mader Watch and go watch a sunrise.  If you’re Irish by birth, French by choice then grab some joie de vivre with your mid-morning café au lait.  We’re all a little on edge right now and it’s good advice to say Careful, don’t push me any closer.  So, save me (us) from myself (ourselves) by making this a kindler, gentler board week.  Take a flea bath if you need one, with or without Peaches ‘n Cream bubblebath and bubbly.  The committee, which will be announcing a break from competition before too long, is already talking about what we will do with our write-up premium. 

Despite the clear choice from the League of Extraordinary Voters, in an uncharacteristically selfless decision by fiat, Mal eliminated Writers on the Storm from the competition.  Something about a Conflict of Interest.  That, of course, required a Total Recall of the votes and in a second round, Wurl According to Garp took the honors.  The winner may pick up his/her/its suitable-for-framing award at the proverbial usual place.