lthough it was somehwat soggy, the Emergency Ad Hoc Committee braved the elements to nom-inate a rather sparse slate of aliases. While Miss Information remains the moral leader of the crew, even she thinks it would be Better the devil . . . to write this thing up every week. And while the Committee is confident that most folks think, "Are you people nuts?" we keep meeting week after week, confabulating these missives, trying to be the Entertainment Agents of this place. Truth be told, we Can't make this stuff up!

nyone can say we make Mountains out of molehills, but that's really too easy a cliché. We prefer puns. The The Principal of Shared Governance is unfortunately not an administrator at USM & the principle of shared governance has been Pushed under rug, or maybe it's Hid(d)en under the USM Rock. It's hard to remain calm, cool & collected when Your College has been Almost Totalled. In the end, it could take a SeaMoor Environmental Specialist to clean up the mess

ntil The scent of money reaches a lot more noses, it's hard to maintain even 18% interest in plans to commercialize everything is sight. As it is, it's more lucrative to place bets with Bennie the Bookie about the SACS probation. Sadly, students are notgetting$'sworth from grants, contracts & patents. Sometimes, it feels like every day is Friday the 13th unless one has been edjumacated in pollymerr since (when?) at USM...

robably, there is a Conspiracy in Practice. Too many things seem to happen Accidentally on purpose. There are quislings who will sell out for a promotion or a merit raise, any one of whom might be Carl Nicholson's cabana boy. All we can advise is trust but verify & make sure there's a Shark Watcher on duty before you jump in the water. Otherwise, you could be Dead as a Dog on a 12-lane highway. Still, there are those Chess-Wan-A-Bes who believe that the Gnome is looking at the end of the line. Just remember, the IHL folks could still tell him, "Here's your dunce cap, what's your hurry?