Cain to join USM Admin? - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Mar 31, 2005

Cain to join USM Admin?

Date: Mar 31, 2005

Cain? I thought you said McCain.

Date: Mar 31, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: kw
"In yesterday's FD speech, Thames made a joke about Walt Cain's SGA salary compared to what he will make there next year. The quip seemed to imply that Cain was taking some sort of staff post with the Thames administration after this academic year. Does anyone out there know anything about this?"

Yes, Walt Cain will complete the USM accelerated cyber Ph.D. program in Economic Development in May, 2005, and has accepted a dual appointment as Professor of Economic Development and Special Advisor to the President, beginning in June. Professor Cain will initially office in the dome, later moving to the Trent Lott Center upon its completion. A USM press release with additional information, including an updated bio, is forthcoming. Dr. Thames invites you to join him in welcoming Professor Cain back to the university. At age 22, his appointment to the faculty is yet another first for USM.

Date: Mar 31, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Mader's Machine
"Yes, Walt Cain will complete the USM accelerated cyber Ph.D. program in Economic Development in May, 2005, and has accepted a dual appointment as Professor of Economic Development and Special Advisor to the President, beginning in June. Professor Cain will initially office in the dome, later moving to the Trent Lott Center upon its completion. A USM press release with additional information, including an updated bio, is forthcoming. Dr. Thames invites you to join him in welcoming Professor Cain back to the university. At age 22, his appointment to the faculty is yet another first for USM."

Will Professor Cain be sharing office space with Professor W.J. Johnson in the Lott Center?

Date: Mar 31, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: More Info Please?
"Will Professor Cain be sharing office space with Professor W.J. Johnson in the Lott Center?"

I believe the plan is to have Professor Cain sit in a small chair at the feet of Dr. Thames. I'm ordering a chair conforming to the requested specs from Kids-R-Us, and hope to have it on hand by the end of May.

Date: Mar 31, 2005

It fits the whole image of the Austen Powers parody that the Clarion Ledger cartoonist used to include: SFT will now have an official Mini Me!

Date: Mar 31, 2005

Didn't this whole episode give SFT a convenient means to back away from the ridiculous 20,000 goal? He can cite "the will of the students" or something. It's all a big PR maneuver.
The most telling thing is that WDAM focused its coverage on the singer instead of on SFT. Is it my imagination or didn't Founders Day used to be a really big deal?

Date: Mar 31, 2005

Former USM student body president, and new USM administrator and International Development faculty member Walt Cain will be speaking at 7PM tomorrow, April 1, 2005, at Bennett Auditorium on the USM campus. Mr. Cain's address, USM; A University for the 21st Century, will outline his vision for the university as it moves boldly ahead into the new century, setting the tone for the all state's institutions of higher learning. Mr. Cain will entertain questions after his address, and a welcome reception will follow at the R.C. Cook Union. All USM faculty and staff are encouraged to attend.

Date: Mar 31, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: USM Press Release
"Former USM student body president, and new USM administrator and International Development faculty member Walt Cain will be speaking at 7PM tomorrow, April 1, 2005, at Bennett Auditorium on the USM campus. Mr. Cain's address, USM; A University for the 21st Century, will outline his vision for the university as it moves boldly ahead into the new century, setting the tone for the all state's institutions of higher learning. Mr. Cain will entertain questions after his address, and a welcome reception will follow at the R.C. Cook Union. All USM faculty and staff are encouraged to attend."

What kind of reception? Open bar? Hors d'ouvres? Aramark hot dogs? Entertainment? Free Tee-shirts? Door prizes? Can I bring my wife and kids?

Date: Mar 31, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hungry Man
"What kind of reception? Open bar? Hors d'ouvres? Aramark hot dogs? Entertainment? Free Tee-shirts? Door prizes? Can I bring my wife and kids?"

Get serious. There will be punch and snacks at the reception, nothing more. The idea is to get everone comfortable with the new, young face of the Thames administration, not subsidize a faculty drinking binge.

Date: Apr 1, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hungry Man
"What kind of reception? Open bar? Hors d'ouvres? Aramark hot dogs? Entertainment? Free Tee-shirts? Door prizes? Can I bring my wife and kids?"

Dear USM Faculty and Staff:

At the request of the Thames family, refreshments at Professor Cain's reception will limited to non-alcoholic drinks and cookies. This was decided after taking into account the all-faculty covered dish supper at the Thames home later this evening.

I received a question earlier today regarding parking arrangements at the Thames house. Some concern was expressed over the possibility of a parking shortage, given the size of the faculty, and expected attendance. After conferring with campus police and all college deans, it was decided that three measures will be taken to insure adequate parking and minimize inconvenience to those attending the supper.

1. Shuttle busses will be operated from 645PM until midnight, ferrying attendees to and from the Thames home. You may park your car either at Courtesy Ford on West Pine (courtesy of Mr. Mixon), or at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on Highway 49. Busses will depart at 15 minute intervals from both locations for the duration of the event.

2. For those who prefer to drive to the Thames home, celebrity valet parking will be provided at no charge. Dr. Thames has asked Drs. Malone and Grimes, Clinical Professors Lassen and Cain, AD Richard Gianinni, and all USM Deans, including Drs. Pood, Doty, Pierce, Fos, and Gandy to park cars throughout the evening. I have volunteered to participate as well. As suggested by Dean Pood, tips will be accepted but are not obligatory.

3. In order to facilitate traffic flow, and avoid congestion within the house, we are asking that the faculty and staffers time their arrivals so as to adhere to the following schedule:

645-745 College of Education and Psychology

745-845 College of Science and Technology

845-945 College of Business and Economic Development

945-1045 College of Health

1045-1050 College of Arts and Letters

I hope this answers your questions concerning the Cain and Thames events later today. If you have additional questions, I plan to be in my office all morning. Feel free to call or come by.

Sincerely,

Lisa S. Mader, Director of Marketing and Public Relations

Date: Apr 1, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Lisa M.
" Dear USM Faculty and Staff: ... 2. For those who prefer to drive to the Thames home, celebrity valet parking will be provided at no charge. Dr. Thames has asked Drs. Malone and Grimes, Clinical Professors Lassen and Cain, AD Richard Gianinni, and all USM Deans, including Drs. Pood, Doty, Pierce, Fos, and Gandy to park cars throughout the evening. I have volunteered to participate as well. As suggested by Dean Pood, tips will be accepted but are not obligatory. ...If you have additional questions, I plan to be in my office all morning. Feel free to call or come by. Sincerely, Lisa S. Mader, Director of Marketing and Public Relations "

Lisa,

Is it possible to request a specific celebrity valet? I'd like to have that pompous ass Elliott Pood park my car, and I fully intend to stiff him on the tip.

Starving COAL Peon

Date: Apr 1, 2005

Its true, Cain is joining the USM adminstration.

It isn't Walt Cain, but "Cain" the brother of the Undertaker from the World Wrestling Federation. Disguntled faculty and students will have a hammer lock to look forward to if they complain too much.

Date: Apr 1, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Lisa M.
" Dear USM Faculty and Staff: At the request of the Thames family, refreshments at Professor Cain's reception will limited to non-alcoholic drinks and cookies. This was decided after taking into account the all-faculty covered dish supper at the Thames home later this evening. I received a question earlier today regarding parking arrangements at the Thames house. Some concern was expressed over the possibility of a parking shortage, given the size of the faculty, and expected attendance. After conferring with campus police and all college deans, it was decided that three measures will be taken to insure adequate parking and minimize inconvenience to those attending the supper. 1. Shuttle busses will be operated from 645PM until midnight, ferrying attendees to and from the Thames home. You may park your car either at Courtesy Ford on West Pine (courtesy of Mr. Mixon), or at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on Highway 49. Busses will depart at 15 minute intervals from both locations for the duration of the event. 2. For those who prefer to drive to the Thames home, celebrity valet parking will be provided at no charge. Dr. Thames has asked Drs. Malone and Grimes, Clinical Professors Lassen and Cain, AD Richard Gianinni, and all USM Deans, including Drs. Pood, Doty, Pierce, Fos, and Gandy to park cars throughout the evening. I have volunteered to participate as well. As suggested by Dean Pood, tips will be accepted but are not obligatory. 3. In order to facilitate traffic flow, and avoid congestion within the house, we are asking that the faculty and staffers time their arrivals so as to adhere to the following schedule: 645-745 College of Education and Psychology 745-845 College of Science and Technology 845-945 College of Business and Economic Development 945-1045 College of Health 1045-1050 College of Arts and Letters I hope this answers your questions concerning the Cain and Thames events later today. If you have additional questions, I plan to be in my office all morning. Feel free to call or come by. Sincerely, Lisa S. Mader, Director of Marketing and Public Relations "

This is hilarious -- especially the suggested arrival and departure times of the COAL faculty. Thanks for making me laugh out loud.

Date: Apr 1, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: USM Sympathizer
""

Why thank you for the nice compliment USMS. Will you be attending the supper? If you're not a USM faculty member or staffer there's no need to conform to the published schedule. Please feel free to drop by at your convenience; come early and stay late. I'll even park your car, no tip expected.

Please don't forget to bring a covered dish. Mrs. Thames says we're running short on vegetables, so I'd suggest a big pot of spicy pinto beans. Dr. Thames loves beans despite his lifelong struggle with chronic flatulence, a tragic condition with repercussions which are often unsettling to his guests.

Don't forget to ask for me when you drop off your car at the valet station.

Yours,

Lisa

Date: Apr 1, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Lisa M.
" Dr. Thames loves beans despite his lifelong struggle with chronic flatulence, a tragic condition with repercussions which are often unsettling to his guests. Yours, Lisa"

Lisa,

I was completely unaware of Dr. Thames' condition but now that you bring it up, I have a much better understanding of his occasionally antisocial behavior. One can scarcely imagine the ridicule and embarrassment suffered throughout his lifetime as a result of untoward, uncontrollable outbursts. Even worse, to be cursed by chronic flatulence and be a legume lover is nothing less than heartbreaking. I have a few culinary suggestions that may serve to "mute" the repercussions, or should I say percussions, of his malady. I'll have them delivered to the president's office in a plain brown envelope, which I understand is the preferred method of delivering sensitive materials to Dr. Thames. Please let me know if I may be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

Chef Emilio