CoB teaching loads - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Mar 8, 2005

CoB teaching loads

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stiggers
"Stories are flying around today in CoB that SFT & Co have mandated 4/4 teaching loads, minimum, for all CoB faculty beginning Fall '05. No other college is supposedly under this umbrella, yet. "

This information is correct. The Fall 2005 4/4 minimum COB teaching load implements the first of several suggestions submitted to Dr. Thames by Professor W.J. Johnson. A somewhat greater load, 5/4 or 5/5, is being contemplated for junior faculty. The 4/4 minimum load will eventually become uniform throughout the university. As you may already know, Professor Johnson is a renowned business and efficiency expert, and is of the opinion that requiring a full day's work for a day's pay will afford less time for subversive faculty members to cause trouble. A complete listing of Professor Johnson's suggestions may be obtained, upon written request, from Dr. Malone's office.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Professor Johnson's Secretary
"This information is correct. The Fall 2005 4/4 minimum COB teaching load implements the first of several suggestions submitted to Dr. Thames by Professor W.J. Johnson. A somewhat greater load, 5/4 or 5/5, is being contemplated for junior faculty. The 4/4 minimum load will eventually become uniform throughout the university. As you may already know, Professor Johnson is a renowned business and efficiency expert, and is of the opinion that requiring a full day's work for a day's pay will afford less time for subversive faculty members to cause trouble. A complete listing of Professor Johnson's suggestions may be obtained, upon written request, from Dr. Malone's office."

I can't decide how seriously to take all these stories about Johnson. They're certainly entertaining. Surely there's some one who's on speaking terms with Harold Doty. Wouldn't it be a simple matter to call or drop by his office and ask if Professor W.J. Johnson exists, and if he's really joining the COB faculty? Or am I naive in thinking that?

AE

Date: Mar 8, 2005

i keep thinking of MASH where Hawkeye created a fictitious solider named "Tuttle." After a while everyone believed Tuttle was real. Finally, Tuttle had to be killed in action in order to end the charade.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

Professor Johnson wanted me to advise you that as a senior, tenured COB faculty member, he will be exempt from the new 4/4 minimum teaching load. However, given his Mississippi Southern fund raising and administrative responsibilities, ongoing economic development research activities, supervision of multiple ED dissertations, and guest lectures, Professor Johnson wishes to assure you that he will be putting in an honest 40 hour week, every week.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stinky cheese man
"i keep thinking of MASH where Hawkeye created a fictitious solider named "Tuttle." After a while everyone believed Tuttle was real. Finally, Tuttle had to be killed in action in order to end the charade."

Yes, Stinky, the BOGUS charade!

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stiggers
"Stories are flying around today in CoB that SFT & Co have mandated 4/4 teaching loads, minimum, for all CoB faculty beginning Fall '05. No other college is supposedly under this umbrella, yet. "

Of course, this original post had nothing to do with Johnson. The story about the increased teaching loads is true. Perhaps the "Johnson's secretary" poster is having some fun, but dont let that distract you from the original poster. Again, it is true.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

I'm curious about how this works. If you have enough enrollment for ALL faculty to have to teach 4/4, then who's teaching those classes now? TA's? Are they going to reduce the number of graduate students, or the class size or what?

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stinky cheese man
"i keep thinking of MASH where Hawkeye created a fictitious solider named "Tuttle." After a while everyone believed Tuttle was real. Finally, Tuttle had to be killed in action in order to end the charade."

So, it's probably more fun to keep everyone guessing rather than expose the W.J. Johnson hoax? OK, I can understand that. Or maybe he's real after all?

Here's a story for your amusement. While an undergrad at Kansas, my fraternity created a fictional student and registered him for a full load of courses each semester. We paid his tuition, which was minimal in those days, from our party fund, and we actually took the courses. Each course was taken by a student who excelled in the particular subject. I earned an "A" for him in English Comp. At the end of his junior year, we were advised that he'd been tapped for induction into Phi Beta Kappa, which would have required him to make a personal appearance. After much discussion, it was decided that rather than being exposed, he'd have to drop out of school, for financial reasons. The poor guy didn't return for his senior year, and was never heard from again. Too bad, because I think he could have been a Rhodes Scholar.

AE

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: LVN
"I'm curious about how this works. If you have enough enrollment for ALL faculty to have to teach 4/4, then who's teaching those classes now? TA's? Are they going to reduce the number of graduate students, or the class size or what? "

It's really quite simple LVN. With the anticipated influx of hundreds of new students in the Department of Economic Development, and the paucity of faculty, the obvious solution is to require existing COB faculty to pick up a fair share of the ED courses. What's that? You say they aren't qualified to teach ED courses? Who the hell cares? This is USM.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Teaching Load Allocator
"It's really quite simple LVN. With the anticipated influx of hundreds of new students in the Department of Economic Development, and the paucity of faculty, the obvious solution is to require existing COB faculty to pick up a fair share of the ED courses."

Teaching Load Allocator, I have an alternative hypothesis: If faculty who now teach three courses per semester are required to teach four, then the favored administrators who are teaching only one could now teach none.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

And surely the ratio of faculty to administrators is now 1:1?

Date: Mar 8, 2005

The 4/4 is easy. Make "expensive" faculty in the CoB leave, yeah, who would want to stay, and not replace them. The 4/4 will surely cover the continuing exodus.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

Professor Johnson has directed me to inform you that he does not find your sarcastic comments about the revised COB teaching load, or about him, either constructive or amusing. He believes the bathroom humor is particularly inappropriate, coming as it does, from a bunch of effete elitists. Professor Johnson is a man of stature and dignity, and considerable accomplishment. He will not tolerate insubordinate behavior from his employees. This will be your only warning.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

Now, I am certain that this is a hoax. Mr. Johnson's secretary? SCM's "Tuttle" theory seems on the mark. I have always really liked M*A*S*H.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

While many of you are poo-pooing this idea, there is no evidence to the contrary. When the PUC member informed Doty, Doty reportedly gave a weak denial of Johnson's imminent presence in the CoB. Had Doty been 100% sure that Johnson was not coming, I am sure he would have immediately squelched such talk. As it stands, his weak denial is merely another signal that anything can happen, and, at USM, the impossible is possible.

I, for one, believe Johnson is real. Whether he will be a Blount-style appointment or merely a recruited overseer remains unsettled in my mind.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stiggers
"Stories are flying around today in CoB that SFT & Co have mandated 4/4 teaching loads, minimum, for all CoB faculty beginning Fall '05. No other college is supposedly under this umbrella, yet. "

what "stiggers" means...very clever...indeed we are on the "st" plantation in every college. time for a slave revolt against da man.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

I thought "stiggers" was a reference to the USM basketball player of the same name.

Dante Stiggers is a senior guard on the men's basketball team. He came in under Green, then got sort of a raw deal under Eustachy. Kind of a "Jackie Robinson" analogy for the poster, who probably came in under Lucas and has suffered under subsequent "leadership."

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Doc Johnson
"While many of you are poo-pooing this idea, there is no evidence to the contrary. When the PUC member informed Doty, Doty reportedly gave a weak denial of Johnson's imminent presence in the CoB. Had Doty been 100% sure that Johnson was not coming, I am sure he would have immediately squelched such talk. As it stands, his weak denial is merely another signal that anything can happen, and, at USM, the impossible is possible. I, for one, believe Johnson is real. Whether he will be a Blount-style appointment or merely a recruited overseer remains unsettled in my mind."

While I view most of the Johnson posts today as good natured humor, I too believe he's real, and soon to be an unwelcome presence. I see him as nothing more than a Thames plant inside the COB, an interloper and informer. He may be a nice old guy looking for something productive to do for his alma mater in his waning years, but I seriously doubt that's what Thames has planned for him. As for Doty's denial, he's out of the loop. This is a Thames/Malone hire from the get-go.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: True Believer
"While I view most of the Johnson posts today as good natured humor, I too believe he's real, and soon to be an unwelcome presence. He may be a nice old guy looking for something productive to do for his alma mater in his waning years, but I seriously doubt that's what Thames has planned for him. As for Doty's denial, he's out of the loop. This is a Thames/Malone hire from the get-go."

See W.J. Johnson's lengthy post from only a few minutes ago. I continue to subscribe to the notion that he's real, and his advocacy of the university-as-business paradigm is more than a bit scary.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

The esteemed W.L.Johnson ought to be in the running for Provost. He doesn't hide behind his desk . . . yet.

Date: Mar 8, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Tuttle
"Yes, Stinky, the BOGUS charade!"

In the immor(t)al words of stinky cheese man, "I resemble that!"

BOGUS is not a charade. BOGUS is a bona fide unaccredited diploma mill! Let there be no mistake about it!

And we'll put the value of the paper our diplomas are printed on up against anybody's!

Date: Mar 9, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: stiggers
"Stories are flying around today in CoB that SFT & Co have mandated 4/4 teaching loads, minimum, for all CoB faculty beginning Fall '05. No other college is supposedly under this umbrella, yet. "

Are there now so many students in the COB that this teaching load is necessary? I'd like to know why this mandate was issued, based on what data, and where it originated. From Thames, or Grimes, or Doty? Or even from the mythical Professor Johnson?

Date: Mar 9, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: WTF ?
"Are there now so many students in the COB that this teaching load is necessary? I'd like to know why this mandate was issued, based on what data, and where it originated. From Thames, or Grimes, or Doty? Or even from the mythical Professor Johnson? "

This is the byproduct of a meeting on Monday at the dome. This is not about the number of students, it is about making "those lazy business profs do a day's work for a day's pay." SFT wants the b-school profs on a 5-day teaching schedule, since they don't generate their fair share of grants and contracts and since they didn't play ball with his executive MBA plan.

Date: Mar 9, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Dean Domer
" This is the byproduct of a meeting on Monday at the dome. This is not about the number of students, it is about making "those lazy business profs do a day's work for a day's pay." SFT wants the b-school profs on a 5-day teaching schedule, since they don't generate their fair share of grants and contracts and since they didn't play ball with his executive MBA plan."

So in order to make this happen, with approximately the same number of COB students to divy up, the classes will be smaller? I suppose Thames will claim he's doing this to improve the teacher-student ratio. "Ah'm jes thinkin' of thuh stoodents bes' interests." What a weasel.

Date: Mar 9, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: WTF ?
"So in order to make this happen, with approximately the same number of COB students to divy up, the classes will be smaller? I suppose Thames will claim he's doing this to improve the teacher-student ratio. "Ah'm jes thinkin' of thuh stoodents bes' interests." What a weasel."

There is no thinking now. We appear to be on ignorant autopilot.

Date: Mar 9, 2005

This is also preparation for the distance learning initiative, once the green light is given after SACS. I bet faculty will eventually have several in-person and on-line classes to administer in a semester. Will anyone really want an MBA from USM? I've seen these attempts at on-line business ed at lower tier schools. They are abysmal and the education is worthless. This will eventually kill the real graduate business program, as attending class and living in H'burg will not provide any meaning or value. If I were a COB faculty, I would leave on the first train out of the new downtown depot. Too bad you can't take the trolley there anymore. Even if Thames is removed or eventually leaves after term, I think there will be a real reckoning of what stays and goes and in what form no matter who is in charge. Never forget, the IHL has sanctioned all of this and they are looking at program duplication. If I were the IHL, I guess I would want to bolster one or two schools to give the state a better academic presence and then let the other schools serve as regional colleges, functional but not as demanding resource wise, USM becomes a pure teaching school. Which there is nothing wrong with that. Faculty who are research oriented just need to move on. This is pragmatic and only as I see it for better or worse. Hattiesburg or the Coast should have been the site for the original flagship school, but they put it up North where the population isn't. This is the way it is, that's it.

Date: Mar 9, 2005

Dear USM Faculty;

Professor Johnson is busy coordinating his moving arrangements, but asked me to advise you of his puzzlement and disappointment over your objections to the new 4/4 COB teaching load. Professor Johnson made this recommendation to Dr. Thames only after carefully studying the average teaching requirements at comparable institutions, such as the University of Phoenix, Maric College, and DeVry University. At these well respected colleges, teaching four courses per semester is considered the minimum acceptable level of productivity. These colleges expect and receive an honest day's work for a day's pay from their teachers. Mississippi Southern should expect no less. Professor Johnson has also observed that these sister institutions are not saddled with deadwood malcontents protected by tenure, which he plans to address in his subsequent recommendations for restructuring Mississippi Southern.

If I may add a personal word, having worked for Professor Johnson for some years, I should caution that he is not a man to be taken lightly. He is a man of action, and like Dr. Thames, he gets things done. Trifle with him at your own peril.

Very truly yours,

Bobbie Sue Wurstheimer

Secretary to Professor Johnson

Date: Mar 9, 2005

i would like to see what would happoen if the polymer science faculty were told they were going to have a 4/4 teaching load

Date: Mar 9, 2005

just wanted to use this nom, lol