USM: Progress Report - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Feb 20, 2005

RE: USM: Progress Report

Date: Feb 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Literary guy
"The Gulf Park campus will not have to host the international John Donne Society for the 20th year and put up with all those scholars from all over the world. Let the Cajuns at LSU deal with those wild and crazy guys and girls. "

This is a very sad development. You can't imagine how much prestige and positive visibility the annual Donne conference brought to USM. Now the conference is gone, along with the dean of Donne scholars. Shame on Shelby.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

We have had a unique opportunity to witness the most innovative use of math known to mankind.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: the numbers game
"We have had a unique opportunity to witness the most innovative use of math known to mankind."

Thank you so very much! I try.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

Local cellular providers have seen a surge in business from Southern Miss employees.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

We have developed the ability to go where no man (or woman) has gone before and recreate accreditation data where no data has been before.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

There are more opportunities for locksmiths. One never can tell when a locksmith will be needed to change the lock on the door of another faculty member in COAL.

Date: Feb 20, 2005

Progress: just like instant mashed potatoes, USM has created new "traditions." Nitchampburg is one of those newly created traditions.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

The best thing to happen at USM under the Thames reign?

Monday mornings with SeeMore!

Date: Feb 21, 2005

Big spike in local sales of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds--paxil, prozac, lovox, etc.--and increased demand for mental health services: counseling. psychotherapy, crisis intervention, etc.. Shelboo's a boon for the pharmeceuticals and medical services industry. Wonder if the retirement fund invests in Phizer and Merck stock . . .

Date: Feb 21, 2005

There are now only 5 deans to feed (wine & dine) at receptions.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

USM athletic fans will soon be relieved of a very stressful choice which could otherwise present a terrible conflict for them: "Suppose that USM fans prefer, say, Lykes Hot Dogs. USM's sporting events now have the power to carry that brand if USM chooses to do so. Aramark will use their own supplier, chosen on a cost basis and not on what the people want."

-little morphine Annie (on the "Aramak to take over the Greenhouse" thread)

Date: Feb 21, 2005

The University of Southern Mississippi will be honored by being the subject to a future book - the sequel to Exit 13.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: 20/20
"The University of Southern Mississippi will be honored by being the subject to a future book - the sequel to Exit 13. "

And NBC's Dateline producers are currently working on a show profiling the most powerful women in America, featuring, among others, Dr. Angeline Dvorak. Stay tuned fans...

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hot diggity dog
" Aramark will use their own supplier, chosen on a cost basis and not on what the people want." -little morphine Annie (on the "Aramak to take over the Greenhouse" thread) "

Make light of this if you wish but make no mistake, this is a foreshadowing. When there is no shared governance in choosing hot dogs for the basketball arena, the end of academic freedom is nigh. I am saddened beyond measure.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

I can't hear you.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Deaf Nell
"I can't hear you."

Dear Ms. Nell,

I am Dr. Thames personal otolaryngologist, and he asked that I contact you to offer my assistance. Your deafness can result from something as simple as a wax buildup in the auditory canal, absentmindedly storing wine corks in your ears, neurological damage, or any of a number of other more serious conditions. Stop by my office any time for a full workup. Or, if you wish, we could meet somewhere on campus for a tasty hot dog and discuss the possibilities over lunch.

Sincerely,

Malleus I. Stapes, M.D.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

One good thing that has happened, and something for which we should be grateful, is that USM's school colors have not been changed from Black & Gold to Soylant Green.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Rally 'round the new flag, boys
"One good thing that has happened, and something for which we should be grateful, is that USM's school colors have not been changed from Black & Gold to Soylant Green."

Hush! They'll hear you!

Date: Feb 21, 2005

We should also be thankful that the sportscasters now refer to the Greenhouse as the Coliseum rather than as the Soylant Greenhouse.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

We can thank our lucky stars that Aramak has not yet put Soylant Green Eggs and Ham on their menu.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

Another good thing: you can always find a seat at lunchtime at the Payne Center Atrium since they did away with the very popular salad bar.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Dr. Seuschi
"We can thank our lucky stars that Aramak has not yet put Soylant Green Eggs and Ham on their menu."

You have just ruined my day. And after all that effort I put into learning to enjoy Green Eggs & Ham

Date: Feb 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Googler
"Local cellular providers have seen a surge in business from Southern Miss employees."

This surge in cellphone-provider business is, of course, because the faculty is understandably reluctant to use the university's phone system following the S&G debacle.

Date: Feb 21, 2005

For a brief moment (too brief) we got to enjoy the trials and tribulations of Dr. Cooley and his risk manager.

The "trial" last spring was more exciting than Desparate Housewives.

Thames is taking some of the heat off of Eustachy.

Or, Eustachy is taking some of the heat off of Thames.

We learned what Mamma used to say but we forgot.

And my favorite, I learned that Andrea calls her kids "little truths."

Date: Feb 22, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Katy Couric
"And NBC's Dateline producers are currently working on a show profiling the most powerful women in America, featuring, among others, Dr. Angeline Dvorak. Stay tuned fans..."

I am praying that this is a joke. Even if it is true, it will STILL be a joke!

Date: Feb 22, 2005

"for the first time ever, there is going to an assessment of our general education curriculum."

SOURCE: Stinky Cheese Man (on another thread)

Date: Feb 22, 2005

The recent developments at USM have made the general manager of PIB (Laurel-Hattiesburg Regional Airport) very happy, as the number of airplane passengers has increased dramatically in the past two years.

Surprisingly, most of them have been one-way tickets . . .

Date: Feb 22, 2005

We now received regular love letters from the head honcho - unprecedented in the annals of usm.

Date: Feb 22, 2005

The proposed abolishment of the Institutional Research Office and the EEOC office gave us hope that we wouldn't have to house all of those bulky records anymore.