Unsubstantiated Malone Gossip - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Jan 20, 2005

Unsubstantiated Malone Gossip

Date: Jan 20, 2005

Nope, if we're going to speculate then the only internal candidate might be Lassen. Smooth, smart, politically adept and very, very ambitious. Keep your fingers crossed for the new commissioner or a retiree until there's a chance to do some university-wide soul searching about the next real president.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

One question, was the person in PR that has SFT's ear reeking of burbon? I met an "unnamed" director of the PR department at a football game and this person smelled like she went swimming in a bottle of Jack.

Thoughts on a Thames controled person...."And I shall call him mini-me"

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Like pulling teeth
"Nope, if we're going to speculate then the only internal candidate might be Lassen. Smooth, smart, politically adept and very, very ambitious. Keep your fingers crossed for the new commissioner or a retiree until there's a chance to do some university-wide soul searching about the next real president."

I didn't intend to suggest that I was speculating, but rather repeating a bit of patently unreliable bar talk. Malone has his Ph.D. from USM and is a known Thames lackey, so I doubt he'd ever be given serious consideration by the IHL, other than in Thames egomaniacal fantasies. Isn't it the case that Lassen doesn't possess a terminal degree, and is enrolled in the USM ED mail-order Ph.D. program. I know he's an attorney (and a CPA?), smart, and so on, but do you really think he'd be a serious candidate?

Date: Jan 20, 2005

Yes, I do. FWIW, I've shared this speculation with others who should know more than I and I've never received any support for my prediction. Nonetheless, there it is.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Grimm Reaper
"One question, was the person in PR that has SFT's ear reeking of burbon? I met an "unnamed" director of the PR department at a football game and this person smelled like she went swimming in a bottle of Jack. Thoughts on a Thames controled person...."And I shall call him mini-me""

Uhhh, yes, we are speaking of the same individual. Bourbon, yes, although I didn't recognize the exact scent. Jack Daniels maybe, or Southern Comfort? Doesn't matter, either can effectively slur onr's speech and induce excessively loud talking, as was the case.

I like the "mini-me image." That'll keep me chuckling all evening. Thanks.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

Speaking of mini-me. I'd find this Thames contingency plan more plausible if it involved the coronation of little Dana. There's no limit to this guy's megalomania.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Like pulling teeth
"Yes, I do. FWIW, I've shared this speculation with others who should know more than I and I've never received any support for my prediction. Nonetheless, there it is."

Lassen--BBA, MBA, JD. Not out of the question as a presidential candidate I suppose, certainly a better candidate than was Shelboo or Angeline Dvorak. There are many excellent university presidents who don't hold an earned Ph.D.. David Boren at the University of Oklahoma comes to mind. Also, Lassen will probably complete his wurl' class ED doctorate in a couple of weeks if he switches over to the accelerated track without all the picnics and field trips. Then he'll have the complete package.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Grimm Reaper
"One question, was the person in PR that has SFT's ear reeking of burbon? I met an "unnamed" director of the PR department at a football game and this person smelled like she went swimming in a bottle of Jack. ""

I wish you boys would stop talking about me like this. You'd be drinking too if you had my job. You have no idea how stressful it can be when you're in high alert mode 24 hours a day and trying to manage damage control for an idot. Let me assure you that $77K is a bargain. It probably averages out to less than minimum wage. And by the way, what ever happened to the lofty ideals of Southern gentlemen--listening in on my conversations, talking behind my back, nitpicking my every move. A girl needs a little privacy don't you know?

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Lisa
"I wish you boys would stop talking about me like this. You'd be drinking too if you had my job. You have no idea how stressful it can be when you're in high alert mode 24 hours a day and trying to manage damage control for an idot. Let me assure you that $77K is a bargain. It probably averages out to less than minimum wage. And by the way, what ever happened to the lofty ideals of Southern gentlemen--listening in on my conversations, talking behind my back, nitpicking my every move. A girl needs a little privacy don't you know? "

So you thing $77K is too little do you? You poor child. My heart goes out to you. Maybe you can line up a better, less taxing gig through your ole running buddy Angie D. Everything she touches turns to pure gold, or so she says. Surely she could toss you a few scraps from her table.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Evesdropper
".... the many academic and administrative responsibilities being heaped upon Malone, a little gratuitous resume padding if you will. "

How many hats does Ken Malone now wear, and what are they? Isn't he the COO of USM-GC, plus the top dawg in the ED Ph.D. program, and at least a couple of other things? Isn't he a department head too? Is his compensation a matter of public record? It must be stupendous, considering the number of positions he fills. Did any statutory body or committee have to approve his hiring, or was it done by executive fiat? Is he the product of one of the infamous USM nation-wide searches? I'm genuinely curious about the manner in which people like Dvorak and Malone literally come out of nowhere, sans qualifications and credentials, and suddenly poof, they're instant super-administrators. I've been associated with many fine universities over the years and I've never seen anything quite like this.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Evesdropper
"I like the "mini-me image." That'll keep me chuckling all evening. Thanks."

The thought of a 2' tall Shelby Thames running around strikes me as more Stephen King than Austin Powers!

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" The thought of a 2' tall Shelby Thames running around strikes me as more Stephen King than Austin Powers! "

I thought Shelby Thames was only 2 feet tall. I've never seen him up close. Is he taller?

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Shaquille
"I thought Shelby Thames was only 2 feet tall. I've never seen him up close. Is he taller? "

Were you viewing through one of those side-view automobile mirrors that say "Objects may be closer than they appear"?

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Cynic
"How many hats does Ken Malone now wear, and what are they? Isn't he the COO of USM-GC, plus the top dawg in the ED Ph.D. program, and at least a couple of other things? Isn't he a department head too? Is his compensation a matter of public record? It must be stupendous, considering the number of positions he fills. Did any statutory body or committee have to approve his hiring, or was it done by executive fiat? Is he the product of one of the infamous USM nation-wide searches? I'm genuinely curious about the manner in which people like Dvorak and Malone literally come out of nowhere, sans qualifications and credentials, and suddenly poof, they're instant super-administrators. I've been associated with many fine universities over the years and I've never seen anything quite like this. "

Has anyone been able to determine what Malone's annual compensation is?

As for how he was hired... wasn't it one of those "Thames job searches"? (Is there any way to bring back Webster's glossary from the old Fire Shelby board?)

Robert Campbell

Date: Jan 20, 2005

A new name would be needed instead of "mini me" for the new prez, perhaps mini mouse?. There is already a "mini me" for shelboo in the polymer building, he is even a bigger meglomaniac the original though not likely to aspire to the presidency. I understand their grad students did a very uncomplimentary skit about their relationship in Austin Powers style a few years back.

Date: Jan 20, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: minnie mouse
"A new name would be needed instead of "mini me" for the new prez, perhaps mini mouse?. There is already a "mini me" for shelboo in the polymer building, he is even a bigger meglomaniac the original though not likely to aspire to the presidency. I understand their grad students did a very uncomplimentary skit about their relationship in Austin Powers style a few years back."

Could this person be the one who speaks with a distinct Europen accent?

Date: Jan 20, 2005

$77K, thats just another example of unveristy over spending. Hell, I'd take the job and do it for a good 30 grand cheaper. And I wouldn't reek of Bourbon when I talked to people.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Robert Campbell
" Has anyone been able to determine what Malone's annual compensation is?"

Well, the USM Budget Book is 'on open reserve' at the Library, so EVERYONE's salary is a matter of public record. On the other hand, the Budget Book for the past few years hasn't reflected certain 'mid-year adjustments' (like MIDAS), so the figures aren't necessarily accurate.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: oldtimer
"Well, the USM Budget Book is 'on open reserve' at the Library, so EVERYONE's salary is a matter of public record. On the other hand, the Budget Book for the past few years hasn't reflected certain 'mid-year adjustments' (like MIDAS), so the figures aren't necessarily accurate."

As I said earlier, Malone's collective salaries must be stupendous, given his many full-time positions with USM. What a dynamo he must be, a male counterpart of that multi-tasking superwoman Angie D. I'm not on campus so have no way of satisfying my curiosity re his compensation. If I knew, it'd probably just make me mad anyway.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

Is his compensation a matter of public record? It must be stupendous, considering the number of positions he fills.

K. Malone

$49,500 Chief Operating Officer/Gulf Coast

$49,500 Chair Hattiesburg Economic Development & Planning

$11,000 Restricted Funds

TOTAL $110,000

Source: 2004/05 budget, published summer 2004. Not inclusive of mid-year raises, incentives, kickbacks, bonuses, hush money, etc.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Budget
""

You are forgetting or can't find the 3rd major budget contribution - the one for the original (and continuing) job of identifying companies to fill the technology park. Would that perhaps be coming from the office of the VP for R&D?

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Cynic
"As I said earlier, Malone's collective salaries must be stupendous, given his many full-time positions with USM. What a dynamo he must be, a male counterpart of that multi-tasking superwoman Angie D. I'm not on campus so have no way of satisfying my curiosity re his compensation. If I knew, it'd probably just make me mad anyway."

Doesn't it make you wonder if these people are superhuman doing several full time jobs simultaneously . . . or were they overpaid by being put on full time salary for part time jobs?

I'm having a hard time imagining taking on another job or title in my job. But then, I guess I'm probably not such a great multitasker either.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Budget
"$11,000 Restricted Funds"

Would somebody explain to me what this means?

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Budget Deficit
"You are forgetting or can't find the 3rd major budget contribution - the one for the original (and continuing) job of identifying companies to fill the technology park. Would that perhaps be coming from the office of the VP for R&D?"

$49,500 (.45 time)

$11,000 (.10 time)

All is not clear. Perhaps he fulfills that role gratis.....

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:

Originally posted by: Budget
"TOTAL $110,000"

That's a lot less than I'd have guessed, but a lot more than Malone's worth, judging from his credentials. Wasn't AD pulling down $150K plus benes for only one position? I guess old Ken doesn't have her, uhhh, charms.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Budget
" $49,500 (.45 time) $49,500 (.45 time) $11,000 (.10 time) All is not clear. Perhaps he fulfills that role gratis....."

Or maybe that's what the $11,000 for .10 time is - guess there was no reason to think each of three jobs counted as 1/3.

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Cynic
" I guess old Ken doesn't have her, uhhh, charms."

I think I'm gonna need one of thesse...

Date: Jan 21, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" I think I'm gonna need one of thesse... "

Invictus, you da man! Best laugh of the day. No, make that best laugh of the week (guess that says a lot about my twisted sense of humor). ROTFLMAO.....

Date: Jan 21, 2005

I share your twisted sense of humor, great laugh for a Friday night. Luckily I also have dramamine handy as well. Speaking of multitasking, multiprovosting, can't forget that position, isn't he also chairing? Don't no much about algebra anymore but isn't 0 squared still 0? Anybody heard about the "squabble" at the "fine lady's" house New Year's Eve? Maybe another urban legend, involved the fine lady's espouso, fireworks, and a handgun? I do hate to pass along unsubstantiated rumors, but wait, I work at USM. Never mind. Any takers?

Miss Cleo, licensed, certified, accredited and bonded