I spanked Eustachy - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Jan 15, 2005

I spanked Eustachy

Date: Jan 15, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Tom Penders
"Houston 63, USM 53."

No doubt Tim Hudson is giddy over the win and proud to be a part of the UH System.

Date: Jan 15, 2005

as though hudson could give a rat's hind quarters of a concern about basketball.

Date: Jan 15, 2005

scm, I second that emotion!!!!

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Tom Penders
"Houston 63, USM 53."

Tom Penders indeed. This guy is the Shelby Thames of college basketball, an ethically challenged snake oil salesman who turned on his "friends" and then fled Austin one step ahead of certain termination by the university. And might I add that during his tenure at Texas, I don't believe a single one of his players ever completed a degree, the worst record in the Big 12 Conference. Whatta guy!

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Texas Ex
"Tom Penders indeedAnd might I add that during his tenure at Texas, I don't believe a single one of his players ever completed a degree, the worst record in the Big 12 Conference. Whatta guy! "

At least one can say that Penders' player graduation rate was consistent with that of the other major Texas sport. Mack Brown, our overpaid, overrated buffoon of a football coach, also has the lowest graduation rate in the conference. In fact, I believe it's among the lowest in the country, somewhere around 30%. To Jeff Bower's credit, from statistics I've seen published, USM football players enjoy one of the highest graduation rates among Division I schools.

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Texas Ex
"Tom Penders indeed. This guy is ... an ethically challenged snake oil salesman ... "

Ethically challenged? Snake oil salesman? And you say he also enjoys administering spankings? Sounds like a perfect fit to replace Shelboo. I'm adding Tom Penders to the short list of presidential candidates for submission to the IHL.

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: USM Head Hunter
"Ethically challenged? Snake oil salesman? And you say he also enjoys administering spankings? Sounds like a perfect fit to replace Shelboo. I'm adding Tom Penders to the short list of presidential candidates for submission to the IHL. "

Don't be so hasty with your list Head Hunter. Dr. Malone has received assurances from Dr. Thames and Mr. Klumb that he's next in the line of sucession to the USM throne. Where else do you think these many resume padding appointments are leading? Dr. Malone is being groomed, and he will be ready.

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Ken Malone's Risk Manager
"Dr. Malone has received assurances from Dr. Thames and Mr. Klumb that he's next in the line of sucession to the USM throne. Where else do you think these many resume padding appointments are leading? Dr. Malone is being groomed, and he will be ready."

Tongue-in-cheek or no, this is unsettling and unfunny. May as well go ahead and torch the school if Malone's in the running for prez, and now that I think on it, it isn't that much of a stretch. General Sherman, can you help us out down here?

Date: Jan 19, 2005

This explains the new name that has been floated for the university -- Ship o' Fools.

Date: Jan 19, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Scotty, beam me up PLEASE!
"This explains the new name that has been floated for the university -- Ship o' Fools."

I'd heard it was to be the Good Ship Lollypop. Perhaps the Lusitania or Andrea Doria would be more fitting. So when exactly is Malone taking the reins? I guess his being a USM Ph.D. doesn't exclude him from assuming the presidency? I just can't keep track of all the rules, waivers, and loopholes.