Hello dear message board posters and viewers. I've missed you over the holidays. The entire Mr. Wonderful organization has missed you. Hi, Invictus! You too, Malapropism! But our holiday backup team has provided the usual 24/7 monitoring of the message board and we're ready to announce the awards. Mr. Wonderful is away on another of his undisclosed trips and has asked that I do the honors this week. Before the formal presentations, however, I have an announcement. During the selection committee's most recent conference call, 80's Lady informed us that she has finally acquired a suitable presentation object, to be awarded at the "Coming Out Party" frequently mentioned on this message board - whereever and whenever in the future that may be held. The presentation, dubbed the Mr. Wonderful Lifetime Achievement Award, will be presented to the poster whose post - in the sole judgment of the committee - made the greatest overall impact over the life of the two message boards. The only restrictions given to 80's Lady were that the presentation object not be made of polymer or papyrus; and that it be suitable for display in the recipient's living room or den - but not suitable for framing.  I have not seen it yet, but 80's Lady has assured the committee that it is . . . . well . . . . Wonderful! And now for what I know you all came here for today . . . . the January 9 Citation de la Semaine awards!

Humorous Posts Du Jour:

13th Day of Christmas: "The snow may be in Victoria, Texas; but the snow job is in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. The snowees are in Jackson sitting on their frozen duffers in the IHL board room.

Wildlife & Fisheries Biologist: "I for one am glad Roy Klumb is on the IHL Board instead of the Game & Fish Commission. Colllege accreditation is one thing. It upsets a small fraction of the less than 17% of Mississippians who have college degrees & attended USM. Getting a sanction from USF&WS [United States Fisheries & Wildlife Services} that deer season was suspended would be another thing entirely ... and the upset people would all be armed with high-powered rifles."

Back to the Future: The institution appears to be in worse shape than it has been since the days of Theodore Bilbo. The swinging Exit 13 door has hit USM in the butt."

Prophecy Posting Du Jour:

Troll Zapper: "Dr. Do Little, I see that you and I need to have a Dutch Uncle talk. It is apparent from your posting that you do not understand that the days - perhaps years - of fear, intimidation, and retaliation at USM are nearing an end. It may not happen this week, or this month, or even this semester or this year, but it is inevitable. The attempted firing of Gary Stringer and Frank Glamser, coupled with the email monitoring and other treacherous events, ensured that it will happen. Let's just hope that enough of our good faculty will stay around long enough so there will be something to salvage."

Morose 2-Way Conversation du Jour:

Oldtimer: "The former 'Exit 13' signs for Hardy Street on I-59 are now 'Exit 65' - mile markers replaced the former Interstate Highway numbering system. Grant's Tomb: "Let us hope, for the sake of our alumni, that it will not be necessary to erect a historical marker at that site - commemorating a fine public institution which was devastated in 2005 through IHL neglect."

Honorable Mention 2-Way Conversation du Jour:

Kitty Litter: "Cat Poop, your post has identfied what I see as a major problem at USM: it is oriented toward administrators rather than toward academics. At the really good universities, administrators seldom play a direct role in the academic lives of the typical faculty member. A good administrator works behind the scenes to provide a good working environment for the faculty, and they engage in other endeavors designed to foster the institutional mission. Field Hand: "You must not know, Kitty Litter, that USM is under a management system commonly called the 'plantation' system. The people in the BIG house have and use all of the power. The field hands don't know enough to make the big decisions. The "financial crisis" is used like a national crisis" to take away freedoms and justify making all decisions for the 'good' of the institution. We are here just to pick the cotton and not ask questions."

The Winner of the January 9 Citation de la Semaine Award:

Invictus: "...there is one person responsible for the chain of events that has led to the present morass. It's not the deputy assistant vice neutron somewhere. It's the Big Kahuna. LeGrand Fromage. The Archbishop of Anarchy."

Congratulation to all of today's recipients ... and have a good New Year. Peace.

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