you might be a little, redneck university if.....

your central administration "centralizes" the annual faculty evaluation process with a lengthy instrument that essentially asks one question --- "got grants?" --- dozens of different ways.....

your central administration settles on the acronym "MIDAS" for its grants rewards program after reading only the first few lines of the story about Midas....

your central administration cuts an Honors Forum program that brought in Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winning speakers so that it could fund MIDAS rewards for instructors in workforce training and development....

your President holds court in a lame "Tuesdays with ...." Q&A bull session that is attended by only 2 or 3 students from an online program......

your PR folks hold a brainstorming session to name a tailgating area for basketball games and the best they can do is "Nitchampburg".....

your President thinks that if you say it --- "World Class!" --- enough, it must be true......

your AD believes he can steal the mascot logo from a Big X school and get away with it.....

your students wear regalia of your two in-state rivals to class as much or more as they wear stuff with your logo on it.....