Once again, the Emergency Ad Hoc Committee reconvened to play the old Name Game or at best consider What it has become. As always, this week's nominated de plumes reflect the prevailing social milieu, a fact that Can't be repeated too often, so forgive us if some of this Sounds Familiar. And like everybody else, sometimes we wonder Who Are You? Don't worry, though -- there's Nothing on Google. The committee would need a true Yellow Journalist to figure that out!

There was plenty to work with this week. This weeks nominees included far more than Two peer-reviewed examples. So without further ado, the Format Phantom presents this week's review...

Sit back & enjoy a bit of dewberry brandy. And at risk of violating several campus policies, as well as state & federal laws, Smoke 'em if you got 'em. (This may leave you Coughing in San Antonio, but what the heck?) It's what they do in Berkeley & they're ranked far ahead of USM in both the USN&WR and BCS lists. [Editor's Note: First logged protest by Miss Information. She says, "Just say no" ... to Shelby!]

On the issue of Sport, we know that plenty of you think that College football is out of hand. But Miss I's smokey sausages are so good at a tailgate party (win, lose or draw), that we'd have football just to eat outside for a few weekends every autumn. You may say oh, really? And we reply, "Really." We ought to Keep the ball rollin'. (Has anyone figured out that if the bond issue had passed, the skyboxes would give us the 3rd Rock in the history of the University?)

Since the days of FireShelby, the overarching goal has been to rid the University of a certain Bozo & use class against crass. Whether it's economic development, wholesale reorganizations without an org chart, or Academic Myopia, the objective remains the same. And we continue to need a Mader translader to deconstruct the propaganda fogging the area. As always, we feel like we are on the Other side of the moon.

Some faculty & staff feel like an old Cher tune, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves." This is why their legal help needs to be Pro Bono, not Sonny Bono. Others are Loretta Lynn fans & sing "COALminersDaughter." Like Loretta, lots of us have Rug Rats & becoming a millionaire is a pipe dream.

Food service continues to distress more than one On-campus diner, who has left the grille or cafeteria with a terrible butterbean bouquet. [Editor's Note: The last nom was included over the protestations of the Venerable Miss Information.]

Computer technology was a big topic this week. How are faculty supposed to use Modern Age Skills when there are Hamsters turning the LP disk? Reports are that iTech is doing what it can, but money is tight. Does the terminal degree at USM stand for Pileum High & Deep? Is technology outsourcing just another Boondoggle, playing favorites for the politically well-placed?

Finally, accreditation for the education department was another hot issue this week. We would like to declare NatKingCOAL as the winning NCATE poetry/song contestant. This is not to be confused with the NDA, of course.

More than one Mississippian attending college elsewhere is going to notice that, due to budgetary constraints, USM is NoT Hiring. But in the interest of being able to hire the best with less (and being able to line somebody's pockets in the process), we remind the administration that Commissions are good too!.

And <DRUM ROLL> we proudly present the Nom d'Aplomb award to a simple alias that works on several levels. The administration may think that breaking fingers will keep people in line. And in light of this week's discussion of "digital problems," Invictus found the pun amusing whether it was intentional or not. The Ad Hoc Committee, including Miss Information (who usually protests over this sort of thing), says "Keep flippin' 'em -- even with a Broken finger!"

The certificate is at the usual place.