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USM Forum -- Message Board -> AAUP-USM MESSAGE BOARD -> Nom d'Aplomb Award for 11/21
Post Info TOPIC: Nom d'Aplomb Award for 11/21
Miss Information

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Nom d'Aplomb Award for 11/21
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Lo and behold, I KNOW it!  Another week has come to a close for our community of Strangers in the Night. Hope everyone had a chance to begin the morning with Coffee, Newspaper & Website (has there been any other start to a day over these past 8 months?)  Now, please Let me entertain you, dear Guests, with a completely Straight Face as I reach out beyond the 4 Walls that Surround Me to focus on our Proper Priorities for the week and attempt to give you an Evening Chuckle resulting from the plethora of Name Droppers we find in our midst.  Remember When our award presentation was short and sweet?  No Way Jose can we get away with that any more.  Some creative noms dueled with a Double Edge Sword but they were only Robbing Peter to Pay Paul and their efforts resulted in a Dead End while many who were Pseudonym Savvy and Streetwise found Unambiguous victory after Dichotomous Choices in a Landslide vote by the committee (but I’ll come back to that Case in Point later).
 
So many topics were covered this week Betwixt and Between our Failed Google Searches that it was Up in the Air knowing where to start.  Many posters have repeatedly said Follow the Money so beginning there seemed like a Nobrainer.  We gathered with the crew of CSI Hattiesburg, armed with our 35 mms and chanting MONY, MONY, we located a Campus Map and set out to look for the Virtual Cash Cow.   Or agreement in advance that if it were to be found, it would be Finders Keepers.  We began with seeking a Penny Earned and were told that this was the after tax salary of the New Adjuncts to whom we should be most grateful.  With or without Creative Financing we agreed, The Plot Sickens.  We ventured into many Trading Spaces and got Close to the Scene of the Accident, Where (as of yet) the Streets have no name.  Along the way, we encounted several Insurgents representing Generation X (we assumed this because of the abundance of Nose Rings) along with more than a couple Confused Potential Applicants (identified by their Head _Scratching  and repeated use of Huh?) on their way to see the Acronymic Advisor in the office of the Graduate Studies Risk Manager.  While there, they can make an appointment with the Space Ranger who will oust senior faculty members from their offices in order to make room for new hires.   A Sign Maker stands to get Rich & Richer with Trimmed to Fit dedication plaques and new street labels – erasing of course any institutional memory in the process.  Memory Loss Lane seems to be the road that will make us all So Proud as we continue Moving Forward.  In the vicinity of the round building, we were specifically warned to stay away from dome dwellers referred to as Pickpockets_R_Us.  Although we identified several paper pushers in the dome, we didn't find a single Paper Grader.

In Unrelated News, the Town ‘n Gown crowd is gearing up for the social event of the season.  Seems that to celebrate Burning Rome, the Town Jester will be throwing an Oldie Goldie affair known as the Curve Ball.  Lights, camera, action - only those with A Lott of Class will get to enjoy a slice of the Pie In the Skybox.  There is a rumor circulating that there will be a Frank Lloyd Wright award presented for the best artist’s rendering of a hypothetical building.  Charo, newly arrived from Roma, will be dancing to music provided by ACDC.  A Fiddler will, of course, be playing for his dinner.   Although a massage would be a perfectly lovely preamble to this special evening out, Captain Hook would not be allowed to Scratch My Back.
 
It was a week where several Questioners looked to our media outlets for news but WDamn them all, no one really came through with any serious investigative work.  Reporting on the events at USM is generally Bad, but not quite that bad.  There were some who were Disappointed in the Chronicle, saying  Sorry, but I disagree on Some Points but there are others who believe it is still the best place for Justice Seekers to prevail.   A tightly held secret in the medical community is that a very (self) important individual is insisting on world class healthcare in Hattiesburg.  Evidently, Florence Nightengale is on the scene and has everything under control.
 
Two weeks ago, we discussed adding a new Mystery Member to our committee.  Then we had a week of declining enrollment and found our plans de-railed and our approval to hire mysteriously stalled.  Eggactly (sic) what I thought would happen came to pass and this week’s numbers are back up reinforcing our need.  We may have to rely on Copperfield to perform a magical feat for us in retrieving the lost line.  Shirley U. Geste is on our short list.  If we overcome the obstacles now in front of the committee, we’ll see if She Loves Me, or She Loves me Not.  Miss Information, ever the Optimist, believes that the committee’s role will continue to be important to this bored community.  Jeane Dixon is the only one who knows for sure and she isn’t telling.  This morning's Surprise, Surprise ! visit by the Nd'A Committee Wannabe gave us some hope.  This Wildcat seems to have a sharp eye and a subtle way of nudging posters to Do the Right Thing - we may have a new Intern as our Transcriptionist du jour.
 
With Thanksgiving coming up, what are your plans?  With the movement to rid the University of all its turkeys (although they’re not yet All Gone), are you trying something less traditional this year?  Will it be Canada Goose (just take a Gander at the recipes available for that one) or Hog (there’s a Lott of Pork in that choice) or lamb (It’s both Shearing and, uh, Sharing Time if that’s your pleasure).  Ouroboros served Inside Out is considered a delicacy in some parts of the world.  Whatever libations you plan, Dr. Pepper’s Risk Manager warns of  overindulging in cranberry juice cocktail while a carbonated beverage will help with intestinal distress.  Will you be calling on Trapper John, who is Not Much of a Football Fan,  to assist in the kitchen with your harried Upside Down Mom?  If so, you’d better get an Instant Message to him because he may be Long Gone & Never Returning.  If your Thanksgiving gathering will include some Ex-Employees (you know, those Once Employed at USM), some lonely Science Students who are far from home, and the Bag Man who is less fortunate than you along with your favorite Uncle Jed, then may you be truly blessed this year.  For many Fallen Eagles, this may be the last Thanksgiving before the Moving Van arrives.  Love Me (as I am not as I was or could be) or Leave Me is the Name of That Looney Toon.
 
Finally, accreditation looms ever important and with recent discussions about both NCATE and AACSB, the committee awarded this week’s Nom d’Aplomb award to SAC’em, in honor of the SACS accreditation, which someone sagely informed us many months ago trumps all others.  Mal adds that the other interpretation is good too!  Please retrieve your award here. 
 
Although it was too late to change our award recipient for the week, we would like to offer a strong runner-up recognition to Prima Dana.  Her booby (can we say that?) prize will be 30 Seconds With Angie D. 
 
Have a good week and Happy Thanksgiving! 
 

 

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SAC 'em

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Thank you for this honor. Let's hope USM lives up to this nom d'Ablomb on the football field -but not in the academic arena! Surely we can get this academic mess cleaned up by then. Again, thank you.

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Mal

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Oh, it was a football reference????

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SAC 'em

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quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
"Oh, it was a football reference????"
No, no, no, Mal! It had to do with accreditation matters. The football reference was just my way of saying thanks. Please don't take my award away from me!

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Invictus

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Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
"Oh, it was a football reference????"


Anyone who's ever been sacked by SACS will tell you that they'd rather have been blindsided by a 290 lb defensive tackle. Seriously.

<OBLIGATORY DYLAN QUOTE>
"Take a tip from one who's tried."
</OBLIGATORY DYLAN QUOTE>

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Mal

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quote:
Originally posted by: SAC 'em
"No, no, no, Mal! It had to do with accreditation matters. The football reference was just my way of saying thanks. Please don't take my award away from me!"
I do not come from the school of "first giveth and then taketh away" although that style appears in vogue right now.  I'm perfectly thrilled that there is yet another interpretation of your most deserving nom de plume.

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SAC 'em

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Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
"I do not come from the school of "first giveth and then taketh away" although that style appears in vogue right now.  I'm perfectly thrilled that there is yet another interpretation of your most deserving nom de plume."
I had hoped you would like the 'double meaning' of SAC. It seemed to be within the spirit of the awards.

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Prima Dana

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Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: SAC 'em
"No, no, no, Mal! It had to do with accreditation matters. The football reference was just my way of saying thanks. Please don't take my award away from me!"

Just so y'all know, I have added my Special Recognition to the 38th page of my c.v. It is under the title of Honors and Special Recognition and this one didn't even come from my Daddy!!!!


I'm so proud, and I'm so special. I deserved to win too. SAC'em - be afraid, be very afraid!!!!!!




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