Provost Search - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Nov 18, 2004

Provost Search

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Up in the Air
"What's the latest on the search for a chief academic officer? Any chance that a re-shuffling in CEP will accomplish multiple goals?"

According to insider sources, the stealth candidate for Provost is.....drum roll....Dana Thames. But first the nation-wide search must be conducted. Of course it does.

Date: Nov 18, 2004

Dana Thames as Provost. She's about as academic as Jethro Bodine. I am not kidding.

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Fiddler
"Dana Thames as Provost. She's about as academic as Jethro Bodine...."

So you're saying that's one more point in her favor?

AE

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Austin Eagle
" So you're saying that's one more point in her favor? AE "

My apologies to Jethro - I certainly was insulting his intellegence! Yes, it is one more point in her favor since in Shelby's world Ignorance is Bliss.

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Fiddler
"Dana Thames as Provost. She's about as academic as Jethro Bodine. I am not kidding."

Come on. There's a time for exaggeration, and a time for levity. This is one of those times.

Tale of the tape:

Cipherin': Bodine. He didn't learn Mader math, but knows his stuff.
Gazintas: Bodine. 2 gazinta 8 four times. 2 gazinta 10 five times.
Publication record: Thames. Evidently the "Bug Tussle Gazette" is only a level 3 journal pub.
Teaching: Bodine. Look at how he schooled Miss Hathaway. heh heh heh.
University service: Thames. The constant mismangement serves the University to notches unknown.
External service: Bodine. Driving the truck to pick up critters is noble, and tenure-worthy.
Nepotism: Thames. Jethro was merely a cousin.

So when you boil it down to facts, Fiddler's right.

Bodine for Provost!

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Miles Long
" Bodine for Provost!"

Thank you all for your support of Mr. Jethro Bodine for the vacant Provost position. Mr. Bodine has asked that I inform you of the withdrawal of his name from the applicant pool. Mr. Bodine is committed to the completion of his internet doctorate in Economic Development from USM, and has no time to devote to the application and interview process.

He wishes to advise you that upon completion of his degree in December, he will be joining the faculty of the USM College of Science and Economic Development as a tenured professor. Mr. Bodine looks forward to continuing his long and productive relationship with the university. Please feel free to drop by the new Trent Lott Parthenon and visit Mr. Bodine at any time. His office suites will be located in the top floor atrium, overlooking the cheerleader's practice fields. Happy hour commences daily at 5 PM sharp.

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Mr. Bodine's Risk Manager
" Thank you all for your support of Mr. Jethro Bodine for the vacant Provost position. Mr. Bodine has asked that I inform you of the withdrawal of his name from the applicant pool. "

So I take it that Jethro's withdrawal clears the way for his cousin, Miss Dana Bodine-Thames? Would she now be accurately characterized as the Presumptive University Provost Yokel?

PUPY?

(Hmm, not sure whether the acronym should be pronounced "puppy" or "poopie")

Date: Nov 18, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Fiddler
"Dana Thames as Provost. She's about as academic as Jethro Bodine. I am not kidding."

Jethro has a grade school diploma, I'll have you know. If his brain was lard, you wouldn't have enough to grease a skillet. He should be well qualified to be an administrator at the University of Southern Miss these days.