Hello again Dear Friends,
 
Another Turn of the Page - has a week gone by already?  Tempus Fugit.  And, what a week for name droppers!  To quote one of the sports writers in today's HA, "it was the week from Hades".  Of course, talking about today's HA opened the door for Mal to nominate CinCinNasty for the week's Nd'A award.  "It's like an onion!" Mal exclaimed.  It doesn't seem to matter how many times Vic and Miss I explain, Mal just doesn't seem to get that the name must be used on the message board to win.  More about that later.  George Dubya Bush and Angeline (Angie's Development Progresses) Dvorak can both legitimately use the title of President on their resumes, which clearly will pump them up in anticipation of Moving Forward in the future.  A Good Example Starts at the Top and it doesn't do any good to treat Myopia if the Peter Principle is in effect.  Bipolar Disorder, leading to a Split Vote, was diagnosed in Hattiesburg and tended to in the Mash Tent (which absolutely no one referred to as Gatsbyesque).  Dudley Do Right is clearly the Odd Man Out in our current state of Educational Dysfunction.  Karma Chameleon came very close to winning but couldn't quite pull it off.
 
When folks earlier in the week called for no more Forward Movement, they certainly didn't expect the football team to be the listening intently.  Speaking of the game, there was an embarassing number of Empty Seats for Legislative Appreciation Day, and that was before half-time.  Counter and Still Counting are trying to reconcile the numbers with the need for expansion even now.  Perhaps fans thought that the No Trespassing signs referred to them.  A group of tailgaters met over by the Banner that Saved Me and played a Shell Game with each other and Patti Cake with their grandkids for the duration of the game, never bothering to enter the stadium at all.  At many points in the game, it seemed as if there was just One Hand Clapping.
 

Waiting in queue to vote at the polls offered the opportunity for some great Pick Up Lines.  A Chick Magnet armed with an Altoid and the knowledge that Money Talks was likely to find a Black & Gold Digger who would honestly say it's all about the Money Honey.  If you're without either, then Double or Nothing you'll likely end up as a 5th Wheel who receives only the Double Digit Goldfinger.  'Nuff said about that.
 
 
What's in a Name...The Original warns us to beware the Attack of the Clones.  A number of posters Missed the Fine Print indicating that the only pseudonyms that are considered for this very prestigious, Suitable for Framing award are those that relate to the university, are original, clever, have LAYERS and are actually posted as authors on the board.  Two good ones, COST Benefitter and COAL Minder,  were buried in text and, therefore, disqualified.  If it were true that Shelby's Bean Counter was indeed a COST Accountant instead of only a Cost Accountant, then the committee might have considered it.  Chunky Goop Lady and Instant Powdered Soup both seemed to misunderstand Chicken Soup Lady's nonexistent role on the committee.  Being old friends with Miss I from the Mayberry days does not give her sway over the judges.  Bob's Acolyte and Bobby Z are clearly pandering to only Invictus (how many times, Dear Readers, do you need to be warned about that?)  Shocked may have been different from SHOCKED but we're not sure.  It was Deja vu, however, when Emma cried "Troll" on that thread.   There may have been more to the Blast from the Past than we originally acknowledged but we didn't keep track of who was Not Around That Summer.  We loved Choose Your Poison (Dart) but pandering raised its ugly head again, worse yet it was pandering to both the N d'A and Mr. Wonderful Committees - sounded a bit like two-timing.  Anarchist Boomer had the unfortunate luck to remind us that similarly named Dr. Anarchischolar never bothered to thank us for last week's award - poor board form.  Emeril played on Gossiping Gourmet's success.  Long Distance from Nepal left us feeling as if we were abandoned in the Himalyas with or without our mid-life crises.  A little dewberry brandy Spiked tea, even when professionally served by an undercover Daisy, did not even come close to ridding us of our collective headache from sorting through all the names and waltzing entendres.  I'm Schizophrenic and So Am I really hit the nail on the head.
 
At any rate, the Nd'A committee found itself in need of some additional assistance.  Dr. MaderMath Revisited, who has occasionally helped us out on a contract, interim adjunct basis, provided the following rationale for our additional committee resources:  "With 31 posters (each with 27 different names according to Austin Eagle) at 3:00 pm (which is only one hour in a 24 hour day) on a Friday afternoon (which is only one day of seven in a week) and if the committee is going to work a 24/7 schedule like the chief Academic and Athletic Supporter, (for what?  Gee - must be - a Ninny!) then for those 140,616 potential pseudonyms to be sorted, the committee can justify 1,406 new members.  That, of course, uses the faculty/PhD student ratio for the most highly efficient Southern Miss department as a guide."  Efficiency is in vogue this year so just to prove that we are more efficient than even that wurl-class group, we are going to do all that we do with the addition of just one more Lonesurvivor.
 
With Dr. MMR's justification in hand, the committee enlisted the help of a Casting Agent to help us overcome the problems of GroupThink and to find that special Researcher.  Our posted job description, which will form the basis of our nationwide search, says that we want someone who can be a Host with the Most, who possesses Questionnaire Flair, who is a Regal Eagle, who doesn't need the services of Sammy Spellchecker, who has the wisdom of Tom Paine and who does not require ED Viagra.  Given our druthers, we'd add an Artsy Letters kind of member.  Word is that Al Capp's Lyricist and Bo Diddly have already applied.  War Veterans and those Of An Age are actively encouraged to do the same.  Next week, we will let you know who has joined Malapropism, Invictus and Miss Information to bring you the best of the best.
 
Until then, please extend your congratulations to Illeagle, who is the winner of this week's Nom d'aplomb award.  It works on so many levels...
 
As always, the award may be picked up here in the usual place.