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Originally posted by: Arnold
"Methinks Mader doth protest too much. My, my doesn't she appear defensive. Lisa, dear, this isn't giving the appearance that the crisis has passed and things are under contral at USM. Dr. Goebbels, I think it is time for you to review the performance of your associate."

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Dear Arnold,

Thank you for calling this matter to my attention.  I have been away from the campus this past week attending an IHL retreat in Alabama, capped off by a wonderful crawfish boil and beer tasting on the grounds of Mr. Klumb's country estate.  He is a simply delightful  host, a true renaissance man. 

As to the recent USM public relations missteps, I have now studied the press clippings to which you refer and sadly, I must agree with your assessment. Despite my best efforts, I fear that Ms. Mader is not yet capable of maintaining the standard of excellence demanded by USM and its Ministry of Truth. Accordingly, I have placed her on double secret probation and suspended all charge privileges at the Mahogany Bar.  Additionally,  until further notice, I will review and approve all press releases and public statements prepared by Ms. Mader.  She is young and unpolished, but seems an apt and willing student.  I beg your forbearance, as I still hold out hope that she can be trained.  I do apologize for her ineptitude.

Thank you again for your concern, and for keeping me informed.

Very truly yours,

Joseph Goebbels, Ph.D.

USM Minister of Truth