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USM Forum -- Message Board -> AAUP-USM MESSAGE BOARD -> Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Post Info TOPIC: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Invictus

Date:
Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

Get your free online Economic Development Numerology degree.

(The name you enter is not logged & no attempt is made to figure out your IP address.)

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Tinctoris

Date:
RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
"Get your free online Economic Development Numerology degree.

(The name you enter is not logged & no attempt is made to figure out your IP address.)"


Oh man. I'm glad you are on our side.

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Racer X

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

Sweet!  It's not just a degree.  It's the key to a career in that very department!

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Dr. MaderMath Revisited

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Permalink Closed

This looks just like mine!


No check required?  No two-page dissertation?  


My degree in economic development numerology took two and a half weeks because they had to wait for my check to clear.  Of course, they told me at the time that it was because the customer service team was not yet fully in place.  Then there was tracking down my mysterious committee chair.


I feel cheated although I was priviliged enough to take the unique career snowballing two-day seminar taught by the world's leading experts.  Plus, I have the backing of the legalistic bulldogs who will sue anyone who dares to question my degree.  In fact, outside counsel (with a close connection to Southern Miss Economic Development that no one has yet explained to me) is right now looking into my claims that someone on the Password thread is utilizing my dissertation research methodology without proper citation. It's not really in my hands, however.  As encouraged, I simply turned my intellectual property contributions over to Noetic, and the experts there will do their magic which could ultimately make me one of the lucky ten (don't know what that means either - there was always alot of backslapping and winking whenever that subject came up). 


At any rate, I would not be surprised if they look into your diploma mill as well.



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foot soldier

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

Invictus comes through again. At this rate, you're going to be qualified to be president of a w'url class university somewhere.

This made my Monday.

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Mr. Wonderful

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

Sunbeam and gang, we'll never be able to top this!

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Mr. Wonderful's #1 and #2 Groupies

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Permalink Closed

I agree. I suggest that everyone else with witty, pithy, or otherwise worthy contributions should stifle themselves, Edith Bunker-style, and hold them until next week. Invictus rules.


Luna and Sol



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#1 (AND #2)

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Permalink Closed

I meant "we", not "I". This multiple personality stuff is hard some days.


Moonbeam and Sunbeam



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Mal

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mr. Wonderful
"Sunbeam and gang, we'll never be able to top this!"

And I was just about to bite by asking who Sunbeam was!


I do think that our friend, Dr. MaderMath Revisited, deserves a bit of credit for receiving the FIRST PhD in Economic Development in the country and in subsequently popularizing the degree program thus paving the way for Invictus' on-line sensation.  Mr. Wonderful, you and your committee also deserve credit for recognizing the inherent value in Economic Development Numerology by bestowing your honors on MMR last summer. 


It seems that Phoenix ought to be receiving some kudos tool


 



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Mr. Wonderful

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
"And I was just about to bite by asking who Sunbeam was!"
Do not be thrown off by Groupie #1's careless typo, Mal. The Mr. Wonderful Organization is truly nationally-based and extends from states bordering the warm breezes of the Gulf to the cold winds of the Atlantic. As such, we adopt a national - not local - perspective in making our award decisions each week.

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Mr. Wonderful

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mr. Wonderful
"Do not be thrown off by Groupie #1's careless typo, Mal. The Mr. Wonderful Organization is truly nationally-based and extends from states bordering the warm breezes of the Gulf to the cold winds of the Atlantic. As such, we adopt a national - not local - perspective in making our award decisions each week."
And no, LVN, we're not all located in Florida as you speculated several weeks ago.

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Phoenix

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
" And I was just about to bite by asking who Sunbeam was! I do think that our friend, Dr. MaderMath Revisited, deserves a bit of credit for receiving the FIRST PhD in Economic Development in the country and in subsequently popularizing the degree program thus paving the way for Invictus' on-line sensation.  Mr. Wonderful, you and your committee also deserve credit for recognizing the inherent value in Economic Development Numerology by bestowing your honors on MMR last summer.  It seems that Phoenix ought to be receiving some kudos tool  "
I appreciate the honorable mention, as Dr. MMR's straight-guy in the team.  Boy.  I sure feel sorry for the saps that actually went to an "old fashioned" Economic Development Degree Program.  They could have the Same Degree, and so much cheaper and faster, too!  

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Polyonymous

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Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: #1 (AND #2)
"This multiple personality stuff is hard some days."
Tell me about it.

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Invictus

Date:
RE: RE: RE: Online Economic Development Degree --
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Mal
"I do think that our friend, Dr. MaderMath Revisited, deserves a bit of credit for receiving the FIRST PhD in Economic Development in the country and in subsequently popularizing the degree program thus paving the way for Invictus' on-line sensation.  Mr. Wonderful, you and your committee also deserve credit for recognizing the inherent value in Economic Development Numerology by bestowing your honors on MMR last summer.  It seems that Phoenix ought to be receiving some kudos too "


To cop a phrase, "I stand on the shoulders of giants."





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Jethro Bodine

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

Hoooey Dawgie!! I'm putt'n this here degree up right next to the one that makes me a brain surgeon too!! Invictus - sahloot!!!!

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Invictus

Date:
16 hour graduation rate
Permalink Closed

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The institutional research department of the University of S'uthun Miss'ippi has informed us that in the first 16 hours of its existence, we have awarded 41 Economic Development Numerology degrees. At this rate, we will award over 22,000 doctorates in the next year, making us undisputably the LARGEST DEGREE-GRANTING INSTITUTION IN MISSISSSIPPI IF NOT THE UNITED STATES!

Thanks to all who have made this possible, especially to Dr. MM(W)R & Phoenix for their inspiration.


Invictus
President, CEO, COO, CFO, AFL-CIO, Public Relations Director, Provost, Dean & Faculty Senate


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View from a Distance

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

Time to get an alumni foundation started. When is our meeting?

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Epamanandus

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Permalink Closed

I applied for my certificate and received it promptly, but "Given" is misspelled in the next-to-last line. I feel that this detracts from the value of the degree. Could someone please fix this and reissue my diploma?

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Invictus

Date:
RE: RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Epamanandus
"I applied for my certificate and received it promptly, but "Given" is misspelled in the next-to-last line. I feel that this detracts from the value of the degree. Could someone please fix this and reissue my diploma?"


That is not the word "Given". The diplomas are printed in Lake Wobegon, Minnesota & the word you're looking at is "Sven," who is the director of our print shop.

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LVN

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

In other words, you don't want to fix it. Sounds like you already understand this process, Invictus. Save that money!! I'll get out the white-out and the sharpie and fix my own!

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Blonde Joke

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Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: LVN
"In other words, you don't want to fix it. Sounds like you already understand this process, Invictus. Save that money!! I'll get out the white-out and the sharpie and fix my own!"
But remember not to do it on the screen!

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LVN

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RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

LVN is not and never has been blonde, though sorely tempted a time or two to go just a teensie bit red.  However, I did nearly purchase for someone near and dear a wonderful mug that said "Natural Blonde -- Please Speak Slowly."

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Invictus

Date:
RE: RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: LVN
"In other words, you don't want to fix it. Sounds like you already understand this process, Invictus. Save that money!! I'll get out the white-out and the sharpie and fix my own!"


Well, Sven (who is blonde & is now spelling his name "Siven") took great, grave & horrendous offense at the intimation that he "understood" any USMoid process. So he immediately changed the diploma -- he refuses to say that he fixed it -- and also added the new "headless eagle" logo that our board of trustees (namely me & Sven, er, Siven) adopted just moments ago in executive session.

The different, but not corrected, Economic Development Numerology diploma is now available at the same old link. Just scroll up to find it. I'm too lazy to type another <A HREF> tag in here

S'uthun Miss'ippi To The Top!

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Epamanandus

Date:
RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

Mille grazie for reissuing my diploma. It's going right there on the wall beside my Doctorate of Metaphysics I got late one night on the shopping chanel. Or is that channel? Or chanell? In any case, I believe this method of education will soon drive Phoenix U. out of business. Happy to have been in on the ground floor of progress.

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Shopaholic

Date:
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Epamanandus
"Mille grazie for reissuing my diploma. It's going right there on the wall beside my Doctorate of Metaphysics I got late one night on the shopping chanel. Or is that channel? Or chanell? In any case, I believe this method of education will soon drive Phoenix U. out of business. Happy to have been in on the ground floor of progress."
I always buy my Chanel (No. 5) on the shopping channel.  I'm almost out so next time I will try and bundle my purchase with the Doctorate of Metaphysics - see if I can get a discount.  Thanks for the tip.

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Invictus

Date:
RE: RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free
Permalink Closed

quote:
Originally posted by: Epamanandus
"Mille grazie for reissuing my diploma. It's going right there on the wall beside my Doctorate of Metaphysics I got late one night on the shopping chanel. Or is that channel? Or chanell? In any case, I believe this method of education will soon drive Phoenix U. out of business. Happy to have been in on the ground floor of progress."


Hmmm.... Perhaps the University of S'uthun Miss'ippi needs to expand its degree offerings... But we couldn't offer a Doctor of Metaphysics now that you've pointed out that the Shopping Channel is selling them. Maybe a Doctor of Metal Physics?

Suggestions?

I know there are those who would like us to offer a C.P.A. (Certified Pain in the A$$) certificate, but I think Miss Information would object... She has just been appointed president of our board of trustees & is currently concerned with where the next vacation, er, retreat, will be held...

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Epamanandus

Date:
RE:USM's on-line degrees
Permalink Closed

As a matter (not to say Mader) of fact, I see no reason why the university itself should get into the messy business of actually naming degrees. Why not, as Siven (aka Sven) has already done with the recipient slot above, allow each customer (the one who is "always right," you recall) determine the name of the degree she/he wants. It's far too limiting to offer degrees only in Economic Development Numerology, when more exotic degrees are only a few keystrokes away. I'd always wanted to be "Doctor of Metaphysics," because I thought that would make me the bane of vampires everywhere (that and my greenhouse full of garlic) , but another might well prefer to be named the "Rector [or Rectum, if the neuter is preferred] Magnificus" or the "Mighty, Puissant, and Sovereign Potentate." Or the "Mullah Grandiose." If this don't promote bigtime economic development, well I just don't know.


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Invictus

Date:
RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! No
Permalink Closed

I have referred your idea to our coders (who look a lot like Keebler elves) & they are going through the online degree "program" line-by-line to see if it might be feasible. Our dean of continuing education (who is also the CEO, president, provost, business manager & head Keebler elf) suggested that we might want to offer a "traditional" track where there would be conventional degrees such as the current "Doctor of Economic Development Numerology" & the planned MBA in casino/pawnshop management & MFA in whorehouse piano playing, along with a nontraditional "name your own" degree program.

Remember, at the University of S'uthun Miss'ippi Online, the students are customers, the customer is always right & you get exactly what you pay for!

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The Carpenter

Date:
RE: Online Economic Development Degree -- Free! Now!
Permalink Closed

Will it fly?


http://www.paulsen.com/carpenter.mov



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