Dedicated USM supporters,
 
Last evening's telephone conference of the Citation de la Semaine  selection committee was a somber one indeed following the confirmation of Professor Polk's departure to Starkville. We were all still rocking and reeling from that announcement. The committee asked that I express it's appreciation to Professor Polk for his almost three decades of service - very important service -  to USM.  Groupie  #1 hopes to bump into him during one her periodic trips to the MSU campus where  purchases  their famous edem cheese as holiday, birthday, and wedding gifts. Look for her, Noel. She'll be driving the only Bugatti on campus.
 
HONORABLE MENTION goes to someone James Earl Jones for applying the 'mousetrap' principle to academics -  a principle that  works for universities across the nation: "Build a good school and people will come, Roy. People with most definitely come."
 
THIRD PLACE goes to Tiers of a Clown for a posting describing some types of personnel-related events which the committee hopes are not prophetic of the future:  "Let's see . . . Woodrick gets a few months notice, Glamser and Stringer get locked out of their office, Pood tried to fire Polk before he quits, Whiting gets the favorble tenure and promotion letter but no contract. Sulentic gets no contract even after her 3rd year review won its appeal -- these are only a few that are coming off the top of my clown hat - what is up with this place?"
 
SECOND PLACE goes to Plumbers Friend for another posting which the committee hopes is not prophetic of the future: "USM is going to have much more difficult time climbing out of the bottom of the 4th tier cesspool that has been created than it had falling into it. Klumb may be able to snap his fingers and save a million dollars or more, but nobody - not the IHL and not even a new university president - is going to be able to perform that sort of on-the-spot miracle in elevating USM's deteriorated acdemic standing among its peers nationwide. The really good schools have built their reputations over extended periods of time and with experienced and knowledgable leadership and with support from their governing boards. There is no such thing as an instantaneous fingersnapping miracle in the world of academics. Only in athletics do you find that. The walls of your academic cesspool are slimy and slippery - very easy to slide to the bottom and into the slime - but very difficult and painstakingly slow to climb up, and even then it must be inch-by-inch with filthy muck under your fingernails. Those that remain are surely in it for the long-haul.
 
The selection committee did not want to end the week with postings that reflected only a negative, albeit realistic, prophetic tone. Each member relentlesly searched the week's threads in an attempt to identify something positive and upbeat. Groupie #1 made this nomination which the committee unanimously endorsed.  FIRST PLACE goes to In Yo' Face for a posting which we hope is prophetic of the future: "USM just beat Nebraska!"