PUC Meeting Spin Report - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Sep 2, 2004

PUC Meeting Spin Report

Date: Sep 2, 2004

This is quite bizarre. How could he possibly put a gag order on an open meeting...or was it open? If it were closed, surely someone shut out would at least report that.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

What is happening is that those in attendance are up at school and won't post to the board from their university computers. They need to sneak into a lab or report from a computer at home. Hence the delay.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

Dear Colleagues,

Dr. Thames has asked that I inform you that a complete account of the most recent PUC proceedings is being prepared, and will be released to the public through the USM Office of Marketing and Public Relations, as soon as the text is edited and fact-checked for accuracy.

Very truly yours,

Joe

Date: Sep 2, 2004

Dear Southern Mess--of course, you are correct.

Dear Joe--very clever.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Southern Mess
"What is happening is that those in attendance are up at school and won't post to the board from their university computers. They need to sneak into a lab or report from a computer at home. Hence the delay."

Exactly correct. The discussions must have been VERY INTERESTING!

Date: Sep 2, 2004

Hmmm....secrecy about an open meeting designed to improve communication....I guess that makes sense?

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: O.O.
"Hmmm....secrecy about an open meeting designed to improve communication....I guess that makes sense?"

The Hattiesburg American was present and maybe the Printz.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Newgirl
" The Hattiesburg American was present and maybe the Printz. "

HA news is better than no news, but I'm much more interested in hearing unsanitized accounts from the faculty attendees and participants.

AE

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Dr. Joseph Goebbels
"Dear Colleagues,
Dr. Thames has asked that I inform you that a complete account of the most recent PUC proceedings is being prepared, and will be released to the public through the USM Office of Marketing and Public Relations, as soon as the text is edited and fact-checked for accuracy.
Very truly yours,
Joe"

I trust it will be typed, triple-spaced, on the most expensive grade of paper you can possibly find.

Is it true the Office of Marketing & Public Relations has now been renamed the Ministry of Truth?

Date: Sep 2, 2004

You should all ask about Lassen's behavior at the PUC meeting this morning. It was something to behold, believe me.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" I trust it will be typed, triple-spaced, on the most expensive grade of paper you can possibly find. Is it true the Office of Marketing & Public Relations has now been renamed the Ministry of Truth?"

Dear Invictus:

Your information is partially accurate, and I am pleased to have this opportunity to correct your thinking. Indeed we at the USM Office of Marketing and PR do strive to communicate with the unwashed masses in a style and manner commensurate with the position and status enjoyed by President Shelby F. Thames. Therefore, no expense is spared on Dr. Thames stationery, a textured, watermarked, 70 pound cotton rag bond paper with 24 karat gold-leaf letterhead.

Concerning the renaming of our office, at Dr. Thames direction, and with the assistance of our outside legal counsel, Hanbury and Dvorak, LLP, the possibility of adopting the name Ministry of Truth was explored. Unfortunately, we were advised that this name has been trademarked by a Mississippi expatriate and known rabble-rouser, now living in secrecy somewhere in central Tennessee. While we are confident that once found, our operatives will be able to persuade this individual to relinquish rights to the name, for the time being we will continue to be known as the USM Office of Marketing and Public Relations.

If you will provide me with your full name, home address, and social security number, I would like to send a small token of our appreciation for your unflagging support of the university--a personal letter from Dr. Thames on the special Presidential letterhead, an autographed photograph, and a coupon good for one free package of the new USM Golden Revelry Frankfurters, which may be redeemed at any major grocery store.

I hope we have satisfactorily addressed your questions. Please feel free to contact me or my associate, Ms. Mader at any time.

Very truly yours,

Joseph Goebbels

USM Minister of Public Relations

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Dr. Joseph Goebbels
"Your information is partially accurate, and I am pleased to have this opportunity to correct your thinking. Indeed we at the USM Office of Marketing and PR do strive to communicate with the unwashed masses in a style and manner commensurate with the position and status enjoyed by President Shelby F. Thames. Therefore, no expense is spared on Dr. Thames stationery, a textured, watermarked, 70 pound cotton rag bond paper with 24 karat gold-leaf letterhead."

It is good to know that this important historical record is being handled in the same way you handled your own diaries in 1944-45. Why, I was thinking about the diaries just this morning...

Some of your quotes from then are quite inspiring & descriptive of the "faculty situation" now. For example:

"...we must show them no mercy and no indulgence. This riffraff must be eliminated and destroyed."

"If you tell a lie, tell a big one."

"The essence of propaganda consists in winning people over to an idea so sincerely, so vitally, that in the end they succumb to it utterly and can never again escape from it."

"Poison Dwarf"

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: shrinkwrap
"You should all ask about Lassen's behavior at the PUC meeting this morning. It was something to behold, believe me."

I just read the biographical info on Lassen, and was surprised that he isn't a C.P.A. He does hold a law degree, and was formerly Dean of the Business School at the University of Phoenix--Utah, a tier "??" institution. The press release says that at the time of his employment, he was a student in the USM Economic Development doctoral program. So was Lassen the fruit of a national search, or was he plucked from the ranks of the graduate program?

AE

Date: Sep 2, 2004

Lassen is probably the smartest (and most underestimated) person in the dome.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Austin Eagle
" I just read the biographical info on Lassen, and was surprised that he isn't a C.P.A. He does hold a law degree, and was formerly Dean of the Business School at the University of Phoenix--Utah, a tier "??" institution. The press release says that at the time of his employment, he was a student in the USM Economic Development doctoral program. So was Lassen the fruit of a national search, or was he plucked from the ranks of the graduate program? AE"

AE, this was discussed a while back, I believe. Univ. of Phoenix is an online university....don't know how the cyber-U's are ranked. He has no other upper-level administrative experience that I'm aware of...he just meets the SFT work requirements--beholden to SFT ("Respect my Authori-tay!"). That's all that's necessary, apparently. I'm sure that there's someone behind the scenes doing most of the real accounting work (someone who is underpaid and overworked, most likely).

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" ... Some of your quotes from then are quite inspiring & descriptive of the "faculty situation" now. For example: "...we must show them no mercy and no indulgence. This riffraff must be eliminated and destroyed." "If you tell a lie, tell a big one." "The essence of propaganda consists in winning people over to an idea so sincerely, so vitally, that in the end they succumb to it utterly and can never again escape from it."

Dear Sir,

I appreciate your having taken the time to revisit some of my more memorable writings. Even though I penned those words, I never tire of seeing them again and again. Indeed, some have described my ideas as visionary, and the fact that they are inspirational to young public relations professionals today, some six decades after their introduction, demonstrates that the principles are indeed timeless.

Don't forget to send me your personal information, so that I may dispatch a representative to your home with the official USM PAP (President's Appreciation Package).

Your friend,

Joe

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
"Univ. of Phoenix is an online university.."

I hereby dub Phoenix University "The Vanderbilt of Cyberspace."

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Intelligencer
"Lassen is probably the smartest (and most underestimated) person in the dome."

I'm not suggesting he isn't "smart", or implying that holding a J.D. isn't a good thing. I'm just questioning how he came to be hired. Was it because he was the best available candidate, or because he was perceived as a Thames loyalist?

AE

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
"AE, this was discussed a while back, I believe. Univ. of Phoenix is an online university....don't know how the cyber-U's are ranked. He has no other upper-level administrative experience that I'm aware of...he just meets the SFT work requirements--beholden to SFT ("Respect my Authori-tay!"). That's all that's necessary, apparently. I'm sure that there's someone behind the scenes doing most of the real accounting work (someone who is underpaid and overworked, most likely). "

Yup, I'm familiar with the U. of Phoenix. I was just being sarcastic with my "tier ??" comment. I don't believe that cyber-u's are ranked, other than being classified as accredited or non-accredited.

AE

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:

Originally posted by: Dr. Joseph Goebbels
" Don't forget to send me your personal information, so that I may dispatch a representative to your home with the official USM PAP (President's Appreciation Package). "

Careful Vic...be wary of the USM PAP test...

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Austin Eagle
" Yup, I'm familiar with the U. of Phoenix. I was just being sarcastic with my "tier ??" comment. I don't believe that cyber-u's are ranked, other than being classified as accredited or non-accredited. AE"

Sorry, AE. The sarcasm in your message didn't come through to my addled brain! Who knows what Lassen's role really is? I have gone beyond trying to figure out (from afar) the workings of the Dome. I suppose we'll know something when hear the latest PUC report.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Malapropism
" Careful Vic...be wary of the USM PAP test..."

I don't know anything about the USM PAP test, but I was a victim of USM's infamous DRE. Now that really hurt.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
"Sorry, AE. The sarcasm in your message didn't come through to my addled brain.......I suppose we'll know something when hear the latest PUC report."

Truth,

No apology necessary. A more likely explanation than your addled brain is that my attempt at sarcasm was so lame as to be undetectable.

By the way, in case you didn't notice, the new USM Minister of Public Relations now knows where you are, you "known rabble rouser". (See earlier post from Dr. Goebbels) It might be wise to consider moving to a different safe-house, before his operatives knock on your door.

As for the PUC report......"BRING IT ON!"

AE

Date: Sep 2, 2004

You guys make me laugh. I'm going to change my name to not-so-sad.

Joe, I want to meet you at the coming out party.

Come on, participants. Where is the report?

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Austin Eagle
" ... By the way, in case you didn't notice, the new USM Minister of Public Relations now knows where you are, you "known rabble rouser". (See earlier post from Dr. Goebbels) It might be wise to consider moving to a different safe-house, before his operatives knock on your door. "

Hey, if they can't find me by now...

Glad to carry on the rabble-rousing tradition,

Truth

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Sad
"You guys make me laugh. I'm going to change my name to not-so-sad. Joe, I want to meet you at the coming out party. Come on, participants. Where is the report? "

Not-So-Sad,

Well, if you're feeling incrementally better about things, then this day has already been a success in my book.

You guys will have to give me a few days notice before the big coming-out party. I've got several hundred miles to travel, but wouldn't miss it. Besides, I may want to visit my plastic surgeons in Brazil for a little pre-party tune-up before heading down to Mississippi. I don't look quite as youthful as that old photo might have you believe, but modern medicine can work miracles....let's see, what did I do with my bucket of Vitamin E.

Your friend,

Joe G.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Malapropism
"
Careful Vic...be wary of the USM PAP test..."

I've seen enough "pap" in the press releases. I'll pass.

Maybe I should introduce Joe G. to Miss Information's plastic surgeon, Dr. Beau Tocks.

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" I've seen enough "pap" in the press releases. I'll pass. Maybe I should introduce Joe G. to Miss Information's plastic surgeon, Dr. Beau Tocks."

We've seen the PAP, now here might be more smear!

http://hattiesburgamerican.com/news/updates/8549.html

Date: Sep 2, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: educator
" We've seen the PAP, now here might be more smear! http://hattiesburgamerican.com/news/updates/8549.html "

How convenient to lay the blame on the guy who just left. I'm surprised Thames didn't include Stringer and Glamser as co-offenders in the tier-drop fiasco, since they're not able to defend themselves.

Who provided the info to USNWR in previous years? Was it Hudson? This sounds like a cowardly cop-out on Thames part.

This really disgusts me. It must be time for a stiff drink.

AE