one-liners by USM standup comedians - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Aug 29, 2004

one-liners by USM standup comedians

Date: Aug 29, 2004

Did you hear about the feral cat who jumped off of Noah's arc just as it floated over the USM campus? It went directly to the administration building, looked, sniffed, and said "I don't see 'ary a rat around here."

Date: Aug 31, 2004

And you said .............."How did Juneau that?"

Date: Aug 31, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: farside
"How did Juneau that?""

How did I know that? Because my brother and Sitka told me!

Date: Aug 31, 2004

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Aware"

"Aware who?

"Aware, Aware did our English faculty go?"

Date: Aug 31, 2004

Knock Knock -

Who's there? -

Howie -

Howie who?

Howie gonna get USM out of this mess?

Date: Aug 31, 2004

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Old Lady"

"Old Lady Who"

Is faculty recruiting at USM so bad that performing arts had to hire somone like you whose specialty is yodeling?

Date: Aug 31, 2004

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ice Cream.

Ice Cream who?

Ice Scream every time I hear about turning USM faculty into millionaires.

Date: Aug 31, 2004

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Ben

Ben who?

Ben over and kiss me. It's merit raise time at USM.

Date: Aug 31, 2004

Sign on wall in office of unidentified faculty member: I thought Graceland was tacky

Date: Aug 31, 2004

Conversation overheard at USM's new upscale food services facility:

USM faculty member: "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."

Order taker: "Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?"

Date: Sep 1, 2004

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Accordian"

"Accordian who?"

Accordian to the press release USM proud to be listed along with Michigan State and Alabama."

Date: Sep 1, 2004

I read this one-liner on my diploma: University of Southern Mississippi