Varsity Voice all over campus today!!! - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Varsity Voice all over campus today!!!

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Will there be an online "version"? Does anyone know?

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Quotes about Gregg Lassen in the article on new food services entitled "Brave New World":

"The place [the Commons] looks better. The food tastes better. And one man knows why. Meet Chief Financial Officer Gregg Lassen. The Wisconsin native and early retiree of a big oil company came to Southern Miss with a desire to transform the suitcase school . . ."

Article doesn't stoop so low as to find out what his position was with the "big oil company," or even the name of the company. Doesn't inform students that he, Lassen, is also a student (a peer) in the world reknown USM ED PhD program, and has only an MBA with a wealth of experience at University of Phoenix.

More...

"Lassen was at the center moving quickly but calmly, always with the same confident and sometimes cocky demeanor. Six months into the job and Lassen's list of enemies was growing. Now, those calling for Lassen's head are singing his praises. And Lassen speaks of the process and the transition with the same calm confidence."

Where's Clint Taylor when you need him. Did the Varsity Voice employ a popularity meter of some kind to judge the campus sentiment toward Lassen?

Here's a highlighted quote from Thames in a an interview with him in the mag:

"Your tuition is as high as I want it to be. I don't want to raise your tuition anymore." (page 10).

Thanks, God.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Thames Interview:

Q: Raises have been a hot topic of late. Last year the administration was criticized for only giving merit raises. This year everyone got something. What was the process of giving raises this year? How were you able to give everyone a raise and still base it on merit?

A: Sometimes the obvious escapes people. We went five years and didn't give any raises except for a 2% raise one of those years. During that time, we were enduring a reduction in our state appropriations. How were we able to give raises with a declining appropriation? Because of the fact that we reorganized the university --- we went from nine colleges to five --- and we've confirmed clearly that there was two million dollars in that administrative reorganization that went from administrative salaries into instructional components of the institution [So, the reorganization is still paying for things]. So we became more efficient and streamlined our operations. For instance, when people left positions, the head of the department might go to his folks and say, "Hey, these are the jobs that we have to do. Now I'll be willing to give you a raise if you're willing to take on more work." [Hey dude, that's not the definition of a raise] And we did that all over campus; not only in offices and staff, but for faculty as well. There were positions in departments where they didn't hire anybody. They took that money and divided it among their colleagues and gave them more work to do. I'm perfectly fine with that. By the time the academic year was over last year, 25% of the people on this campus, faculty and staff, had already received raises. We simply kept our costs low and our income went up. We got more work out of fewer people and we didn't have to spend more money. So this year we took a portion of that money we had made in cost savings and decided to put that money into raises. That portion ended up being 3.6 million dollars. Every person on this campus had an opportunity to get a raise this year. What the faculty senate officers, Faculty Senate President Dr. David Beckett, and I agreed upon was for everyone on campus employed as of 01/2004 to receive $400. All these years that we hadn't been giving raises, employees' health costs and cost of living had continued to rise. This blanket raise helps offset those costs. And then above that everything else was merit. There were some people who didn't get a merit raise. They got $400 and that's it. Then there were some that got substantial raises. What we're going to try and do from now on is reward people with more money based on their production."

More later

Date: Aug 27, 2004

As someone no longer on campus, I appreciate all V. V. info that you can give me - especially it isn't going to be online. Thanks for relaying the info to us. Rah, rah V.V. - I hope Thames grants the Printz an interview soon. His accessibility factor will be interesting.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Swan Song
"As someone no longer on campus, I appreciate all V. V. info that you can give me - especially it isn't going to be online. Thanks for relaying the info to us. Rah, rah V.V. - I hope Thames grants the Printz an interview soon. His accessibility factor will be interesting."

Make that: IF it isn't going to be online. I wouldn't know - I'm off campus.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: critique
"Thames Interview:<SNIP>So we became more efficient and streamlined our operations."

Possible translations:

"We've managed to run off a pack of expensive tenured professors & replaced a lot of them with dirt cheap non-tenure-track positions."
"It's much more efficient to use a lot of adjuncts than to have to bother with those pesky national searches ... a lot cheaper, too."

Other than the deans that were eliminated, how much "administrative overhead" has actually been shaved off USM's operation?

"I'll be willing to give you a raise if you're willing to take on more work."

Unless one is a VP. In that case, the policy seems to have been, "I'm going to keep you at your current salary if you're willing to agree to only do part of your job."

But what do I know? I'll go ask my boss if I can do a half of my current job for the same pay & report back...

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" Possible translations: "It's much more efficient to use a lot of adjuncts than to have to bother with those pesky national searches ... a lot cheaper, too."

And now that we've made arrangements to eliminate the position of the one person on campus who has the legitimacy of her office to call us to task on it...

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Got out my trusty Truth-o-meter (stored next to the Troll-o-meter in my basement) to put it to work on Papa Shelboo's latest verbal masterpiece....

quote:

Originally posted by: critique
"Thames Interview: Q: Raises have been a hot topic of late. Last year the administration was criticized for only giving merit raises. This year everyone got something. What was the process of giving raises this year? How were you able to give everyone a raise and still base it on merit?

A: Sometimes the obvious escapes people.

TRUTH: Sometimes the obvious escapes me.

We went five years and didn't give any raises except for a 2% raise one of those years.

TRUTH: Except for those stealth raises I handed out to family, friends...you know, the RIGHT people.

During that time, we were enduring a reduction in our state appropriations. How were we able to give raises with a declining appropriation? Because of the fact that we reorganized the university --- we went from nine colleges to five --- and we've confirmed clearly that there was two million dollars in that administrative reorganization that went from administrative salaries into instructional components of the institution [So, the reorganization is still paying for things].

TRUTH: I have milked that $1.8-2 million dollars to death! In fact, it has been "spent" so many times that I have now lost track of where it actually went, or if it ever existed. But people keep buying that story, so we'll keep trotting it out.

So we became more efficient and streamlined our operations.

TRUTH: We moved some administrators around to make you think we were doing something, but we made sure they kept their salaries. Our operations are not really streamlined or efficient, but we still think it's perfectly great!

For instance, when people left positions, the head of the department might go to his folks and say, "Hey, these are the jobs that we have to do. Now I'll be willing to give you a raise if you're willing to take on more work."

TRUTH: What we really did was say, "Hey, we need you to do more work with the same amount of pay. Unless you are Angie Dvorak, then you get to do less work with more pay." It's all about economic development, you know.

And we did that all over campus; not only in offices and staff, but for faculty as well. There were positions in departments where they didn't hire anybody. They took that money and divided it among their colleagues and gave them more work to do.

TRUTH: You know, quality schmality. Let's just keep piling more work on these suckers until they break.

I'm perfectly fine with that.

TRUTH: Did everyone get the memo that the word "perfectly" must be used in every PR piece?

By the time the academic year was over last year, 25% of the people on this campus, faculty and staff, had already received raises.

TRUTH: And 75% of the people did not receive raises (none of them are my friends or family, though).

We simply kept our costs low and our income went up. We got more work out of fewer people and we didn't have to spend more money.

TRUTH: If it works for migrant workers, it works for us.

So this year we took a portion of that money we had made in cost savings and decided to put that money into raises. That portion ended up being 3.6 million dollars.

TRUTH: I know, I know...$1.8 million can't just turn into $3.6 million overnight, but we made it happen! Working with accountants just slows down the process, so I put Ken Malone on this job. He's our shining example of "please, sir, may I have another?!"

Every person on this campus had an opportunity to get a raise this year.

TRUTH: Every person on this campus also had the opportunity to win big at the casinos, write the Great American Novel, and win a spot on the new "Survivor" season this year.

What the faculty senate officers, Faculty Senate President Dr. David Beckett, and I agreed upon was for everyone on campus employed as of 01/2004 to receive $400.

TRUTH: The IHL made me play nice.

All these years that we hadn't been giving raises, employees' health costs and cost of living had continued to rise.

TRUTH: Cost of living? What cost of living?

This blanket raise helps offset those costs.

TRUTH: This blanket raise gives everyone an extra $20/month for coffee! No, really, you've gotten your raise...now, shut up and do your extra work!

And then above that everything else was merit. There were some people who didn't get a merit raise. They got $400 and that's it.

TRUTH: Some people are more equal than others.

Then there were some that got substantial raises. What we're going to try and do from now on is reward people with more money based on their production.

TRUTH: Read my lips...no more bathroom breaks.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Truth,

How did you get control of the WindTalkers program? That was exclusively licensed to the Nom d'Aplomb committee in exchange for bestowing our very prestigious award on the developers. I detect that it was incorporated as part of your TRUTH-O-METER without proper authorization. Miss Information, Vic and I will be discussing this prior to our Sunday evening deliberations and you may find yourself in some serious trouble, Missy.

Mal

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Truth,

Thank you for making my Friday.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

More of the interview:

Q: Dvorak reassignment-assigned to be President of the Research Foundation after serving the office of Vice President. What was your motivation behind it and what do you hope the long term benefits are?

A: I would prefer not to think of it as a reassignment. I would like to think of it as a promotion. One of the things I wanted to see happen when I became President was to develop a research foundation. Well, one of Dr. Dvorak's missions when she came here was to take the research foundation and to develop it into a thriving organization. Now we have an initiative called the Development of Innovation and Commercialization Park...The goal of this new facility is to use new and innovative knowledge through research to generate dollars for the community. If we do that, and Southern Miss owns a portion of that technology, we get income flowing back into our university. Your tuition is as high as I want it to be. I don't want to raise your tuition any more. Where are the next income sources going to come from? From the innovation, the new ideas, and the research dollars. That's why it's so important to have this research organization.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Malapropism
"Truth, How did you get control of the WindTalkers program? That was exclusively licensed to the Nom d'Aplomb committee in exchange for bestowing our very prestigious award on the developers. I detect that it was incorporated as part of your TRUTH-O-METER without proper authorization. Miss Information, Vic and I will be discussing this prior to our Sunday evening deliberations and you may find yourself in some serious trouble, Missy. Mal"

I beg to differ. Let the record show that my TRUTH-O-METER was used on this board by me prior to any WindTalker usage...it was just not legally patented at the time. I had thought about donating the worthless research to the USM Research Foundation (along with my other basement inventions: the Non-Stinky Cloak of Invisibility and Perfectly Great Styrofoam Packing Peanuts), but realized just in the nick of time what a grand (I mean, perfectly great) invention I had on my hands. I'll have my nebulous legal counsel contact your nebulous legal counsel.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Last part...

Q: What has been the greatest accomplishment of the summer for Southern Miss?

A: The thing that's most gratifying to me is the culmination of our two years of effort in reorganizing our institution and seeing the rewards of those two years. Teamwork. That's what we need to realize. We have so much energy on this campus, and if we can harness that energy in a positive direction, it will be incredible what we can do.

One note, the bottom half of page 13 is an American Pride Paint advertisement. Here's the copy: "American Pride --- a paint providing Mississippi more than just color and protection. Low odor, spatter, resistence. Zero VOC, Silica free, satisfaction guaranteed."

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
" I beg to differ. Let the record show that my TRUTH-O-METER was used on this board by me prior to any WindTalker usage...it was just not legally patented at the time. I had thought about donating the worthless research to the USM Research Foundation (along with my other basement inventions: the Non-Stinky Cloak of Invisibility and Perfectly Great Styrofoam Packing Peanuts), but realized just in the nick of time what a grand (I mean, perfectly great) invention I had on my hands. I'll have my nebulous legal counsel contact your nebulous legal counsel. "

Do you think that WindTalkers had an industrial spy located in your basement? A Pileum planted recording device carefully hidden under the Non-Stinky Cloak of Invisibility? Maybe, that's why they disappeared so quickly after licensing their technology to us. The committee never received a thank-you note and we thought that was "fishy". Miss I has black-balled them from future awards based on exhibiting such poor manners. This warrants further investigation. For now, tentative apologies...and no need to get out misguided counsel at either end.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Malapropism
"Truth,
How did you get control of the WindTalkers program? That was exclusively licensed to the Nom d'Aplomb committee in exchange for bestowing our very prestigious award on the developers. I detect that it was incorporated as part of your TRUTH-O-METER without proper authorization. Miss Information, Vic and I will be discussing this prior to our Sunday evening deliberations and you may find yourself in some serious trouble, Missy.
Mal"

Mal, I suspect that Windtalkers has the open source freeware version of the Truth-O-Meter™ program, while Truth has been using the commercial version, which is still covered under the Gnu Public License. As long as the good folks in Elgin, Illinois, left the proper attribution in their End User License Agreement, it should be PERFECTLY legal.

I don't know which one is actually more accurate. I think the open source version may be updated more frequently. Perhaps y'all should compare version numbers & build dates; just right-click on the icon & select "properties" from the pop-up menu.

This is, of course, pure

but it's almost Q.T. on a Friday

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" Mal, I suspect that Windtalkers has the open source freeware version of the Truth-O-Meter™ program, while Truth has been using the commercial version, which is still covered under the Gnu Public License. As long as the good folks in Elgin, Illinois, left the proper attribution in their End User License Agreement, it should be PERFECTLY legal. I don't know which one is actually more accurate. I think the open source version may be updated more frequently. Perhaps y'all should compare version numbers & build dates; just right-click on the icon & select "properties" from the pop-up menu. This is, of course, pure but it's almost Q.T. on a Friday "

Yeah, what Vic said! (I always say that I know just enough about technology to get myself in trouble

).

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Got the TRUTH-O-METER booted up again to go to work on this latest excerpt:

quote:

Originally posted by: critique
"More of the interview: Q: Dvorak reassignment-assigned to be President of the Research Foundation after serving the office of Vice President. What was your motivation behind it and what do you hope the long term benefits are?

A: I would prefer not to think of it as a reassignment.

TRUTH: Heck, I'd prefer not to think about any of this mess at all!

I would like to think of it as a promotion.

TRUTH: That's what Angie told me to say, at least.

One of the things I wanted to see happen when I became President was to develop a research foundation.

TRUTH: Even though it was already developed under another administration, I wanted to say that I did it!

Well, one of Dr. Dvorak's missions when she came here was to take the research foundation and to develop it into a thriving organization.

TRUTH: One of Angie's missions when she came here was to help all of her friends in industry out by taking their worthless patents and giving them a tax break...it's all "win-win" in economic development.

Now we have an initiative called the Development of Innovation and Commercialization Park...The goal of this new facility is to use new and innovative knowledge through research to generate dollars for the community.

TRUTH: I just wanted to get rid of that darned golf course.

If we do that, and Southern Miss owns a portion of that technology, we get income flowing back into our university.

TRUTH: I get income flowing back into my American Pride Paint business. Did you know that they painted part of the Pentagon with my paint?

Your tuition is as high as I want it to be.

TRUTH: I am God! Bow down to my authori-tay!

I don't want to raise your tuition any more.

TRUTH: The IHL won't let me raise your tuition any more.

Where are the next income sources going to come from? From the innovation, the new ideas, and the research dollars. That's why it's so important to have this research organization.

TRUTH: I don't know how to fundraise. All I know how to do is rake in government pork given me to my friends in high places (and paid for by the taxpayers). A day's work for a day's pay!

Date: Aug 27, 2004

The TRUTH-O-METER is heating up now!

quote:

Originally posted by: critique
"Last part... Q: What has been the greatest accomplishment of the summer for Southern Miss?

A: The thing that's most gratifying to me is the culmination of our two years of effort in reorganizing our institution and seeing the rewards of those two years.

TRUTH: One of these days I'll get rid of all that oppose me! Vengence will be mine!

Teamwork.

TRUTH: Just another word for nothing left to lose.

That's what we need to realize.

TRUTH: Again, respect my authori-tay! I'm Shelby Thames, b****!

We have so much energy on this campus, and if we can harness that energy in a positive direction, it will be incredible what we can do.

TRUTH: If I could find a way to hook you all up on treadmills that led to the power plant, we'd save so much money and be the only university in the world completely human-powered! Let me call Roy Klumb right now...

One note, the bottom half of page 13 is an American Pride Paint advertisement. Here's the copy: "American Pride --- a paint providing Mississippi more than just color and protection. Low odor, spatter, resistence. Zero VOC, Silica free, satisfaction guaranteed.""

I'm sorry to report that the TRUTH-O-METER blew a fuse on that one. Too much "perfectly great spin" for the old girl to handle.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

Spitting out my dinner, laughing so hard, Truth. What makes it so humorous is that what you mock is so TRUE. Why do the idots of the whirrrl' consider us to be so ignorant? I take offense to their "spin" -- we, as a student body, are far smarter than that.

No Quatter, Mr. Kotter.

Date: Aug 27, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Shaft
"Spitting out my dinner, laughing so hard, Truth. What makes it so humorous is that what you mock is so TRUE. Why do the idots of the whirrrl' consider us to be so ignorant? I take offense to their "spin" -- we, as a student body, are far smarter than that. No Quatter, Mr. Kotter."

Glad to oblige in the laughter department, Shaft. Truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, but sometimes it comes sugar-coated!

(PS--Love the Mr. Kotter reference...I had a Sweathogs lunchbox in 3rd grade (giving away my age, now!)

Date: Sep 3, 2004

Kick...in light of Varsity Voice conversations on other threads.