My, my, my...trying to squeeze in the Nom d'aplomb award between the homemade ice cream tasting contest sponsored by the Ladies Mission Society and the various other website awards sponsored by Mr. Wonderful (and dysfunctional committee) and Educator (and dancing icons) is quite a feat but I will do my best. 

Let me apologize up-front for a slight technical delay in delivery of the award certificate itself.  The Invictus Help Desk is closed for the evening.  The on-line certificate will be available on Tuesday of this week and the committee apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause.  It appears that Invictus has gone to scout out other universities (evidently in preparation for a comprehensive report on the variance between those with open AAUP message boards versus those with member-only AAUP message boards).  Invictus has enlisted the help of a customer service survey team to assist with the project and Dr. MaderMath Revisited (who as you know is already on retainer) will help to quantify the results.  Unfortunately, that left me trying to decipher Malapropism's notes this evening and the task made me hope that one of the ladies was heavy handed with the creme de menthe in her ice cream recipe.

Stumblin' thru the Minnie Minutiae of this week's Nom d'Aplomb nominees...

Miss I notes that It'll be a COAL Day in H... considerately
applied an ellipsis to protective sensitive sensibilities.
IBACDIH does have the distinction of being endorsed by a Nom d'Aplomb laureate, Nomenclator. 

Invictus says Mal 'n Vict fan may have been "karma whoring" as they say on slashdot.org. But Miss I isn't going to fall for that prostitution stuff again. She knows slashdot.org is run by a bunch of LIBERtarian geeks, which just too letters shy of "liberal." Miss I liked M'nVf's posts about Miss I being the "USM way" & returns the compliment by noting that "brown-nosing" is getting to be the USM way, too.  After last week's blatant exchange between Malapropism and Hot Heir, however, all committee members thought it would be an inappropriate choice...at this time.

The matched twins,  Plantation Laborer & Man in White House on Hill, reminded us that the sharecropping model is one way to run a gold mine. Ask the good folks in South Afrika.  Malapropism kept adding something about "more porridge" but the other committee members didn't get the connection.

Anyone who tries to make sense out of this message board, expecting the whole to equal (or at least be less than) the sum of its parts is probably going to wind up Lost in Space and Translation.

base flesh myth author used one of Invictus' favorite anagrams to suggest that Miss I thought Garrison Keillor is a porn star. Actually, she thought he was a "pimp", not to be confused with Shaft. Of course, she & the ladies at the Society have taken the missionary position that the baSe Flesh myTh may not be the worst thing about old W.N. but it makes the best gossip.  It wasn't until the committee meeting that Malapropism understood all of this.  Sometimes Malapropism is not as clever as Malapropism thinks.

under the radar uses the Air Force's preferred attack strategy & reminds us that the media often see (and report) only what it is "supposed" to see.

Gnome Facts keeps us entertained with fairy tales that aren't quite as wild as the ones that SFT's spin machine tells us. And the handle is a fair pun, too. The question is how "fairy" tales mesh with our red-blooded macho leader... Gnome Alone & Gnome, Gnome on the Range hopped on the juggernaut, but they get only a "close but no cigar" citation, as does Gnomenclature who attempted to hop on two bandwagons simultaneously.  Gnome Facts gets the honorable mention.  Of course, this entire line is reminiscent of the For Whom the Bell Trolls, Troll House Cookie, Rock 'n' Troll series from earlier in the summer. 

Have I Got a Deal for You seems to fall into the same category as former award finalist Alan Luddite.  Is this another leap onto yet another bandwagon, a necessary or unwarranted diversion of the board's energy, or sympathy for the devil?  Miss I says that's up to you, dear reader.

So, the winners? 

It'll be a COAL day in H... takes the top Nom d'aplomb honor - Congratulations!

The Nom d'aplomb Honorable Mention Awards go to: Gnome Facts (for reasons discussed above), Little Sister (who we clearly distinguish from Little Seeker and who we encourage not to be intimidated by), Nobody Special (because, as educators, we simply can't let that slip by...bless your little heart), ICON Do it (because, without Invictus' help, we obviously can't), and Hope for the Best (because, ultimately, that's what we're all doing).

Otherside actually receives the Oldie but Goodie award for reminding us there is a serious side to all of this and that maybe we've spent too much time on frivolity over the summer -- all good things must come to an end.  What with the upcoming football season that will erase all the controversy, there is probably not a need for further awards once the semester starts. Then again, On-line Prof will certainly tell us what will and will not be allowed under the rules of the new board.  The Nom d'aplomb committee patiently awaits its marching orders.