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USM Forum -- Message Board -> AAUP-USM MESSAGE BOARD -> Nom d"Aplomb Award for July 25
Post Info TOPIC: Nom d"Aplomb Award for July 25
Miss Information

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Nom d"Aplomb Award for July 25
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Well, I was able to get this finished before the Ladies Missionary Society meeting, which means I can stay for the ice cream social...

There may be some concern amongst the readers that I am not an open-minded person. That is simply not the case. Invictus and Malapropism spent a great deal of time this past week talking to me about A Prairie Home Companion, powder milk biscuits, church socials, and the overall niceness of the upper midwest. I was just about to forgive the fact that the radio show is aired on that liberal radio station. I actually went so far as to ask Miss Always Right, to whom I referred last week, to pick up a copy of Garrison Keillor's book so that we could organize a book club with the other ladies of the the Ladies Missionary Society - I convinced them by talking about the biscuit recipes which were sure to be included. Do you know what she came back with? A Home Grown Democrat! Can you believe that? I can forgive a lot of things, but not that. No, there will be no Nom d'Aplomb award for Hardy Street Home Companion, not now not ever. I will stick up for my principles, you betcha I will!

As they used to say on the FS board, this is a "right and wrong" issue and not a "right and left" issue. I refuse to allow Malapropism or Invictus set us on a slippery slope!

Invictus and Malapropism each had a list a mile long (not the Mile Long, however) of honorable mentions. Evidently, they were brainwashed into thinking that all the pseudonyms were above average, probably from listening to that Garrison Keillor person or maybe from assigning grades using the USM grading scale. Therefore, I have taken the liberty of culling the list to a manageable level. I don't know about all of Mr. Wonderful's fancy foreign terms, I just know quality when I see it.

The second weekly Nom d'aplomb honorable mention recognition awards go to:

Asymmetric Fairness because it epitomizes the pretzel logic of decision-making at USM.

And the Horse You Rode In On because for those of us who watch our tongues, it is the only way of saying what we truly want to say.

Rudy Kazootie for bringing smiles to the posters in our midst who are "of an age".

Jump, Jive, 'n Stomp, which although reminiscent of Shake, Rattle, 'n Troll, made us want to dance (on some graves, in fact...)

The oldie but goodie Honorable Mention goes to Jim Hollandsworth who, in addition to being an inspiration to us all, reminds us of the asymmetric fairness involved with an unqualified person being deemed qualified and a qualified person being deemed unqualified using the same criteria by the same people in the same month.

The best of the best for this, the second weekly Nom d'Aplomb award goes to Nomenclator. As all of our well-educated readers know, Nomenclator was the educated slave who escorted his ignorant masters for the purpose of "naming things." We thought this name was quite apropos for the situation at hand. Nomenclator may pick up the weekly award certificate.

Malapropism had one additional message that I was asked to pass on. Hot Heir, you had your chance! Invictus and Miss Information didn't understand that.

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Nomemclator

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quote:
Originally posted by: Miss Information
the second weekly Nom d'Aplomb award goes to Nomenclator. As all of our well-educated readers know, Nomenclator was the educated slave who escorted his ignorant masters for the purpose of "naming things." We thought this name was quite apropos for the situation at hand. Nomenclator may pick up the weekly award certificate.
Thank you Ma'm. And let me say one more thing: You're just as pretty as Mr. Wonderful's #1 Groupie - no matter what they're saying.

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Hot Heir

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quote:
Originally posted by: Miss Information
 Malapropism had one additional message that I was asked to pass on. Hot Heir, you had your chance! Invictus and Miss Information didn't understand that."
I read you loud and clear, $Mal$. But don't talk too loud about that. As we old timers used to say during WWII, Loose Lips Sink Ships. Evidently you never found it. Next time I'll place it in plain brown wrapper and drop it under a streetlight.

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Invictus

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After spending literally (or littorally) hours on IRC with Larry Wall, Linus Torvalds & the Micro$oft help desk, I was able to create a certificator that automagically dispenses the awards in case anyone loses theirs. Unlike the registrar's office, we won't charge for extra copies.

It also allows anyone to find out who or what won the Nom d'Aplomb in any particular week. Give the Auto-Certificator a spin.

(Actually, the Auto-Certificator is the first step in my plan to issue online PhDs in Economic Development ... my economic development )




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Prairie Home Companion

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quote:
Originally posted by: Miss Information
"A Prairie Home Companion . . .  the radio show is aired on that liberal radio station . . . No, there will be no Nom d'Aplomb award for Hardy Street Home Companion, not now not ever"
Foul! Foul!  Prairie Home Companion denied the Nom d'Aplomb because he/she listens to pubic radio? I'll bet if Prairie Home Companion had used a rough 'n tough "manly" and Republican-like handle such as Car Talk, the award would have been his/hers hands down. It wouldn't suprise me if your committee used Austin Eagle as a consultant in making the decision to deny the award to someone who enjoys what you call "liberal" pubic radio. Miight you be the driving force behind privatizing every nook 'n cranny at USM? Might you be the driving force behind the movement to privatize Medicare? Might you be the one who penned the MIDAS concept? Might you be the one who penned the bill to privatize Social Security? Might you be your university president's "Kitchen Cabinet" in economic development decision-making? Mr. Wonderful's #1 Groupie has a neat looking Bugatti, but I'l bet she didn't rob the poor to get it. Prairie Home Companion, indeed.

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LVN

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With reluctance and heaviness of heart, I join the fray.  I was a dedicated PHC listener of many, many years.  Many.  I even have GK's personal own autograph from when he came to Bowling Green KY one time.  But the last few times I tried to listen to my beloved PHC, I had to turn it off.  It just all got too political for me.  I want to know about Pastor Inquvest and the good sisters at Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and listen to Robin and Linda sing.    Hey, let's nominate Our Lady of P.R. for some sort of honorary best church name of all time!


And yes, at one time in the early 1980's I too tried to find those biscuits in the grocery store . . .



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Political Commentator

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Wow! Hold the presses. With responses like these, it looks like the Kerry/Edwards doesn't stand a chance. And everybody used to think academics is permeated with liberals. Roy Klumb, are you watching?

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Invictus

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Alas, that's Miss Information's story. Actually, she started out thinking that "Hardy Street Home Companion" referred to some kind of a lady of the evening or something. Mal & I spend hours trying to get that out of her head & then she went on this tear about NPR, which she kept calling "National People's Radio." And of course, she kept telling us to "keep the liberal politics out of it -- it's divisive."


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Hardy St. Home Companion

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quote:




Originally posted by: Invictus
"Miss Information . . .  started out thinking that "Hardy Street Home Companion" referred to some kind of a lady of the evening . . ."


Now that's a really great line. I laughed so much that I had to go get a glass of water, and when I returned I started laughing again so much that I spewed it all over my important work papers. Now I have to get off the message board and spend the rest of the night redoing what I destroyed with the spewed water. But is was a really great line.


 


 


 


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Invictus

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quote:
Originally posted by: Hardy St. Home Companion
"Now that's a really great line. I laughed so much that I had to go get a glass of water, and when I returned I started laughing again so much that I spewed it all over my important work papers. Now I have to get off the message board and spend the rest of the night redoing what I destroyed with the spewed water. But is was a really great line."


I'm glad you thought it was funny. But Miss Information was deadly serious about it. She said (more than once), "There's enough prostitution at USM already!"

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Little Sister

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quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
"Miss Information . . . said "There's enough prostitution at USM already!""
The Nom d'Ablomb crowd seems to trying very hard to land Mr. Wonderful's  le Citation de la Semaine.  

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