The tuition increase for Southern Miss is 6 percent, and will change the
per-semester, in-state tuition from $1,937 to $2,053 per semester. Out-of-
state tuition was also raised by 6 percent. Raising tuition is not something
that we wanted to do, for it places a greater burden on our students. TRANSLATION - I have to say this in public; in private, however, io I am salivating over the ability I have to undertake more croynisitic and nepotistic bedavior and rewarding the likes of my daughter to attempt to repay her for the abuse she had to undere at my own hands and Henthorne for having to endure 62 trips to Jamaica. Ooooh isn't life grand


inability to provide pay raises to faculty and staff leave no alternative. ARE YOU IN THE TOP TEN PRESENT CLUB; IF NOT, I HAVE AN OPENING, EXPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FEMALE UNDER 50 AND UNDER 150.

The need for faculty and staff salary increases was persuasive, and the
board responded in the manner described, with the admonition that raises
be merit based. MERIT IN THE SHELBY ADMINISTRATION MEANS THE EMPLOYEE WON'T PASS OUT WHILE ATTEMPTING TO SUCK A GOLF BALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE.


Clearly we are pleased with the outcome of the meeting, DUHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!




I am pleased to welcome Dr. Katherine E. Nugent to the Southern Miss
family. SHE GOT THE GOLF BALL THRU THE GARDEN HOSE IN UNDER 7 SECONDS, A STATE RECORD, AND SECOND IN THE WORLD, ONLY HAVING BEEN OUTDISTANCED BY AN APPLICANT FOR THE POSITION OF UNDER-SECRETRARY OF FINANCE DURING THE IDI AMIM TENURE.

Dr. Nugent will assume the role of director and associate dean
of the School of Nursing on August 1, 2004. She brings with her a wealth of
knowledge and experience in nursing, and I am excited that she has joined
the Southern Miss family.

I am also very pleased to report the signing of a cooperative agreement or
memorandum of understanding with the Mississippi State Department of
Health. The MOU will make it possible for Southern Miss researchers ARE THERE REALLY ANY LEFT (LMAO)

During the signing process, I had the opportunity to get to know Dr. Brian
Amy, our state health officer, and Dr. Mills McNeil, our state
epidemiologist. ACTUALLY I CAUGHT A CASE OF CRABS WHILE TRYING TO RELIVE THE GLORY DAYS (OH WHEN THE PRESIDENT LOOKED THE OTHER WAY; THANKS AL).



OH WELL COLLEAGUES IT CONTINUES TO BE GOLF BALLS AND GARDEN HOSES; WANNA-BE RESEARCH; AND BEERS AND BABES; USM TO THE TOP.

On Sunday, June 13, I traveled to Dallas, Texas, where I represented
Southern Miss and Conference USA (C-USA) as a board member and executive board
member, respectively.


This was the first official board meeting for the newly
realigned Conference USA with it four new members, Marshall University,
Southern Methodist University, Tulsa University, and University of Texas at
El Paso. SOUTHERN MISS TO THE TOP

Congratulations to Richard Giannini, Southern Miss athletic director, who has
clearly shown exemplary performance. He has been instrumental in protecting
our position in C-USA WHAT????? THEY PICKED UP TEXAS EL PASO WHAT IS THERE TO PREOTECT????????????????????//

IS ST A HALF-FULL KINDA GUY OR WHAT!!!???





Very truly yours,

BTW I TALKED TO GOD THIS WEEK!!!!!

Shelby F. Thames