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Ole Miss/State conspiracy theory < 1. view that the IHL Board and much of Mississippi want USM to be taken down a rung or two on the higher education ladder in the state, so that it doesn’t compete with Ole Miss/State for resources; 2. the appointment of Shelby Thames as President in 05/2002, with all of his subsequent controversies, along with the solid support of Thames by IHL Board members Roy Klumb and Carl Nicholson (and others) throughout the controversies, have fueled this conspiracy theory.

$116,057 < 1. proposed operating costs of Walt Cain’s newspaper, The Varsity Voice; 2. figure computed by subtracting the last Hub SGA budget proposed by Jared Loftus from Walt Cain’s first budget proposal: $210,000 minus $93,943 equals $116,057.

one man demonstration < 1. anti-Thames demonstration on USM’s campus (5/7/04) conducted by David Berry where he smashed 3 teaching awards and a 30-year service pin, all awarded over his career at USM (in front of crowd of about 100); 2. see also nose-shaped plaques; 3. see also help Shelby find his talent; 4. see also Doofus the Clown and Goofus the Clown.

1-2-3, we don’t want a Health degree < chant used by nursing students at a dome rally expressing discontent with having their programs placed in the newly formed College of Health as part of the university restructuring plan introduced in 2003.

open door policy < 1. stated policy of Shelby Thames to be receptive at any time to students, faculty or staff visitors who desire to discuss any/all issues concerning USM; 2. as some have suggested, policy thwarted by the fact that, while his door may be open, his mind is closed.

open hearing < 1. the Glamser-Stringer appeal hearings on April 28-29, 2004 are to be open, as defined by Reuben Anderson, which means the public and media can attend, with the media allowed to videotape and photograph the proceedings under Mississippi Supreme Court guidelines (see The Hattiesburg American website’s PM update 4/12/04); 2. USM President Shelby Thames wanted his definition of open to prevail, which meant a real-time Internet feed of the transcripts going to USM’s website along with a live video feed aired on cable access (t.v.) channel 11, a P.A. announcer introducing the principals, scantily clad "ringside" girls holding large placards announcing bathroom and meal breaks, and box seating for Krandall Howell and Billy Hewes with complimentary beer/boiled peanuts.

outdoor celling < 1. new and increasingly popular sport at USM, played by faculty, staff, and many administrators (e.g., department chairs, deans, etc.), wherein you go outside the building housing your office (place of work) to use your cell phone in order to avoid the prying ears of Jack Hanbury and Shelby Thames waiting for you on the university phone system. Outdoor activity not only offers privacy, but better reception and some wonderful weather (as you pace around, having your conversation); 2. CBED Dean Harold Doty is said to be a proficient player (or outdoor celler), probably from the many conversations with his nebulous and misguided personal/outside counsel.

paint-treated lumber conspiracy theory < view that Roy Klumb is staunchly supportive of USM president Shelby Thames mainly because Thames is putting a significant amount of (Polymer Science) resources behind laboratory research that would allow Klumb’s lumber business to replace CCA pressure treatment of lumber (which was banned by the EPA) with paint-treatment of lumber, a result that would seriously improve the bottom line of Klumb’s Gulfport-based family concern. [guest Glossary entry by Sarge]

Panton, Ken < 1. Dean of USM’s Honors College; 2. reportedly accepted a Thames administration offer to be Honors College Dean at a previously agreed-upon salary, only to get a "Dear John" letter from Thames on his first day at the helm indicating that his actual salary would have to be much less than what had previously been agreed to.

Paul, Joseph < 1. currently serves as the Vice President of Student Affairs at USM; 2. bleeds black and gold (USM school colors); 3. has been affiliated with USM since long before a Thames job search was ever conducted; 4. current finalist for the post of Vice President of Student Affairs at Texas A&M University in College Station, TX; 5. must now decide whether he wants to work around the current traditions at Texas A&M — the 12th man, Revelie, and Yell Leaders — or those currently building at USM — Tuesdays with Thames, anti-Thames protests on south lawn of the Administration Building, and reading The Varsity Voice/discussing the third side of issues of the day.

Pauley, Dennis < 1. graduate student in philosophy at USM; 2. called Shelby Thames a "peckerhead" at the inaugural Tuesdays against Thames meeting in March of 2004, shortly after the firings of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. later, in April of 2004, called Thames a "peckerhead" once again in a letter to the editor of The Student Printz; 4. said in his letter he wishes USM students could have a shot at a vote of "no confidence" in the "peckerhead"; 5. in his letter Pauley indicated that he didn’t think Thames understood "peckerhead" to be a pejorative term.

Payne, Jim < 1. pro-faculty supporter of USM (of Payne Center fame); 2. rumored to be a top candidate of Haley Barbour for nomination to the IHL Board in April of 2004 (source, The Independent); 3. rift between Payne and Bob Mixon supporters forced Barbour to select Robin Robinson instead.

Pepper, Phil < 1. Economist for State of Mississippi; 2. sent to USM by the IHL Board to study the problem of phantom students and human error that gave USM the false status of largest university in the State of Mississippi; 3. authored report on human error and phantom students at USM that did not exonerate the actions of Shelby Thames and his administrative staff (see Susan Siltanen).

perpetual student education < 1. the farcical/nonsense third side argument made by newly-elected Hub SGA president Walt Cain recently; 2. supposedly describes Cain’s stance on the current crisis at USM; 3. actually, by not having Frank Glamser’s teaching replacement lined up the day he was fired, Shelby Thames hosed this very pillar of Walt Cain’s third side model.

petitiononline.com/usmtruth/petition.html < 1. online petition stating "No Confidence in Dr. Shelby Thames as President of the University of Southern Mississippi"; 2. online petition created by Concerned faculty, staff, students, alumni and friends of USM and written by Andrea Hewitt; 3. check it out today.

phantom students < 1. the 674 students that magically appeared on USM’s Fall semester 2003 roll sheet turned in to the IHL Board, and who also magically disappeared the following day; 2. overcount of USM students in the Fall of 2003 as a result of human error (see Phil Pepper).

Phase II < term used by academic freedom fighters referencing the post-Glamser-Stringer hearings stage of the war against the academic tyrant, Shelby Thames.

Pileum Corporation < 1. management consulting firm from Jackson, MS; 2. working with USM in the area of technology implementation; 3. rumor has it that Pileum Corporation is one of a few firms to be awarded contract work from USM without having to go through a competitive bid process (see Phil Bryant); 4. company tasked with e-mail surveillance at USM (see also e-mail perverts); 5. see also Jill Beneke.

Piliawsky, Monte < author of the 1981 book, Exit 13.

Pointe Innovation Magazine < 1. a science and technology publication reportedly founded by Angeline Dvorak and affiliated with the Mississippi Technology Alliance; 2. magazine that often employs Lynne Jeter, that is when she’s not writing unbiased articles about Angeline Dvorak for the Mississippi Business Journal.

Polk, Noel < 1. professor of English at USM; 2. product of a national job search; 3. staunchly anti-Thames, famous for the "...world class foot.." quote.

polymer < any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule.

polymer university < 1. a university concerned only with any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule; 2. a university that thinks the liberal arts represent a waste of time and money.

Pood, Elliott < 1. first-year Dean of USM’s College of Arts and Letters; 2. hid in his office while Shelby Thames carried out his Pearl Harbor-style attack on USM professors Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. actually made statements on the first day of the firings that sounded a lot like Walt Cain’s third side argument about perpetual student education, though Cain coined the phrase; 4. recently surfaced to praise the hiring of Glamser’s teaching replacement.

Potter, David < 1. Commissioner of Higher Education in the State of Mississippi, and former President of Delta State University; 2. new target of IHL cabal led by Roy Klumb and Scott Ross for not supporting their efforts to oust MSU’s Athletics Director nor providing them cover in supporting Shelby Thames in the Spring of 2004.

Powell, William < 1. Associate Professor of Foreign Languages and Literature at USM; 2. product of a national job search; 3. chaired the Credentials Committee of USM’s Graduate Council looking into Angeline Dvorak’s graduate faculty credentials in the Spring of 2004 (see also 14-0).

Prejean, Danielle < 1. USM senior Honors College student, being advised (for thesis) by Frank Glamser; 2. tireless fighter for truth and integrity; 3. said USM’s academic integrity had been sacrificied by Thames administration scandals.

preserving the integrity, credibility, and stability of [an] institution < 1. for a functional president or chancellor, this is best done by providing adequate processes for granting tenure and protecting academic freedom, allowing shared governance, hiring faculty/administrators through national job searches, and getting out of the way; 2. for a dysfunctional president or chancellor, this is accomplished by firing two esteemed/well-regarded scholars with tenure in the middle of the semester, thereby eliminating all sense of academic freedom on the campus, without ever having considered (even for a second) who would teach their classes, thus making it necessary to conduct a Thames job search for a replacement after two weeks of missed class meetings.

President’s Council < 1. name given to the President’s University Council at its second meeting on 5/17/2004; 2. name suggested by PC member Shelby Thames because of fun being poked at the initials "P-U-C" of the original name for the Council (sounds like "puke").

President’s University Council < 1. new council announced by Shelby Thames on 5/5/2004, consisting of about 18 members (1 faculty, 1 staff, and 1 student from each of the 5 colleges, along with representation from USMGC) nominated by the deans of each college (i.e., not elected by anyone); 2. new council set up "to improve communication" on campus; 3. Shelby Thames announced plan on 5/5/2004 and wants it to have its first meeting by 5/12/2004; 4. The Varsity Voice of shared governance now at USM; 5. America’s "founding fathers" are turning over ....

private e-mail < 1. type of e-mail transmission that is protected from view by those not intended to be party to the message/conversation; 2. the "baseball, hot dogs apple pie, and mom" of an American university that wants to make a difference in the world; 3. activity down-sized at USM by Shelby Thames on solid grounds due to inefficiency.

privatization < contracting with private sector entities for the provision of student services, such as meals and textbook service (both are rumored to be imminent as of 4/04).

program in ornamental horticulture < 1. two-year program completed by Roy Klumb at Gulf Coast Community College (MS); 2. "Programs in ornamental horticulture teach people how to breed and grow decorative plants. Students learn methods of using plants in artistic and pleasing ways. . . . Ornamental horticulturalists have the satisfaction of knowing that their work brings joy to many people (iseek.org)."; 3. Students of OH may specialize in floral design (triton.edu); 3. ". . . Ornamental Horticulture is the science and art of producing, distributing, marketing and using flowers . . . (msstate.edu)."; 4 academic program providing skills "in the care of gardens. . . or [for] work as florists, arranging plants and flowers for special occasions (cuny.edu)." [guest Glossary entry partially by USM Sympathizer]

pump up resume < 1. term used by Angeline Dvorak to describe why she sought a JD degree from Thomas Cooley Law School in the mid-1990s; 2. term also incriminates her use of the "tenured associate professor of english at Kentucky" statement (on her resume).

quid pro quo < 1. letting Billy Hewes deliver the USMGC commencement address for pushing through a pro-Thames resolution in the Gulfport City Council; 2. letting Blake Hamm deliver the USM commencement address for bringing the Hub SGA into the Thames fold; 3. quid=commencement address and quo=political support; 4. see cronyism; 5. see nepotism.

Quinlivan, Rebecca Hollingsworth < USM graduate (1968) and mother of Rachel Quinlivan; 2. wrote a letter to Shelby Thames and the IHL Board on 5/2/2004 stating that Thames personally attacked the integrity of her daughter, accessed her daughter’s personal e-mail, attempted to draw her daughter into the middle of the Glamser-Stringer hearings, and brought shame and disgrace to both USM and himself.

Quinlivan, Rachel < 1. currently the editor of The Student Printz; 2. carrying on Robbie Ward’s legacy in search of the truth; 3. drug into the Glamser-Stringer hearings by Shelby Thames when he read a private e-mail of hers that was caught in his e-mail surveillance scheme (see also e-mail perverts); 3. staff writer with The Hattiesburg American during Summer 2004.

Quinlivan, Steve < 1. resident of Point Clear, Alabama, father of Rachel Quinlivan; 2. wrote letter (on 5/8/2004) to The Hattiesburg American indicating that Shelby Thames is a lowly individual who called his daughter’s integrity into question and would subject anyone — friend or foe — to his venom if it furthered his aims; 3. closed his letter stating, "I, for one, find [Thames’] hunger for power, his vindictiveness and his underhanded methods to be unbecoming a college president".

Ramsey, Marshall < 1. Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist appearing in The Clarion Ledger; 2. spoofs thee Thames administration by depicting Shelby Thames as the evil doctor played by Mike Meyers in the Austin Powers movie series.

red-blooded American male < 1. common usage: a man’s man; 2. a double-dog dare that Shelby Thames uses in the media to get underpaid USM faculty to take on his million-dollar public relations machine in the "court of public opinion".

resume < 1. employment document listing all one has done and been in his/her professional life; 2. for USM administrators, what you wish you had been able to do and be can also be included without negative consequences (they have Thames job insurance).

Reverend Thames < reference to Shelby Thames’ statement to The Advertiser News (6/10/2004) about how God views the crises at USM: "I’ve been talking to my Lord and taking his advice. If I’m doing something that’s not right, he needs to tell me. So far he hasn’t told me it isn’t right."

Risk Manager < 1. useful henchman for iron-fisted leaders; 2. helps administration of an organization get around, for a time, pesky legal restrictions and constitutional protections; 3. legally effects Thames authority.

Robinson, Robin < 1. IHL Board appointee (April 2004) by Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour; 2. USM grad, and Human Resources official at Sanderson Farms in Laurel; 3. is opposed to the universities raising tuition and wants them to become "self-sufficient" (by selling their inventions).

Ross, Scott < 1. IHL Board member; 2. didn’t think the USM crisis warranted IHL Board agenda consideration for the first meeting held after the firing of two highly regarded tenured faculty members, even after the Faculty Senate had voted 40-0 "no confidence in Thames" and the USM faculty had voted 430-32 in affirmation of its Senate; 3. blasted the NCAA for "bothering" Mississippi State’s "shiny clean" football program; 4. see IHL yahoo.

Roundhouse cleaning < reference to subtle signs in March/April 2004 that the Thames administration was in the throes of collapse. The subtle signs included (a) Angeline and Mark Dvorak’s garage sale, (b) Joe Paul’s resignation from the Hattiesburg City Schools Board, supporting the belief that he was to become the new VP of Student Affairs at Texas A&M University, (c) discovery that Provost Tim Hudson was a finalist for the presidencies at Slippery Rock and Texas – Pan Am, and (d) word that Aubrey K. Lucas’ daughter was building a home in Canebrake.

rumor < 1. unverified information of uncertain origin usually spread by word of mouth; 2. hearsay; 3. most common language found on campus at USM since the Spring of 2002; 4. standard of evidence used by Shelby Thames to charge USM history professor Doug Chambers with cancelling his classes to allow his students to attend the dome press conference (evidence was passed on to Thames by Lisa Mader).

Ryan, Tim < 1. Director of the USM Foundation; 2. man partially responsible, according to Bobby Chain, for delays in construction of the Trent Lott Center; 3. reportedly has created a hostile type of work environment at the Foundation [outward bound submission to Glossary].