USM basketball coach Larry Eustachy would like to think that the next Shaquille O'Neal could be in USM's future. So would USM President Shelby Thames. But, the USM President also thinks that serving the educational needs of the current version of the megastar O'Neal is important. In USM's quest to reach an enrollment of 20,000, reaching out to online students is a must, according to Thames. That's where 'Shaq' comes in.
Shaquille O'Neal recently received a Master's in Business Administration from the University of Phoenix, a university devoted entirely to online education in various disciplines. O'Neal, who plays for the NBA's Miami Heat, has been taking online courses in preparation for his days after professional basketball. According to Thames, those courses and O'Neal's MBA degree should have been completed with Southern Miss.
"Gregg [Lassen] called me the other morning and read to me the newspaper story about 'Shaq's' graduation from Phoenix. There's no doubt in my mind [USM] missed the boat on that," Thames said. Not only does the USM leader believe that O'Neal's degree could've been granted by the Hattiesburg-based university, he also believes that USM is missing the wave of the future.
"'Shaq' could've been a Golden Eagle, gotten a world class education from us over the Internet from his home in Miami. There's no telling how many external dollars from him that would've generated in the future," Thames explained. "This gets back to some of the roadblocks Jay [Grimes] and I have faced from our business college about competing with Phoenix and the others. We are falling behind every day by not getting our online operations up and running," Thames concluded.
Gregg Lassen, currently the Vice President for Financial Affairs at USM, is a former administrator with the University of Phoenix. Since his arrival in Hattiesburg, he has been working on implementing a larger online presence for USM, but has found the going difficult. "I don't think some on the faculty understand what kind of potential revenue streams we are talking about here. It's unbelievable when you look at it," Lassen explained.
Current USM students are not so convinced about the future of online studies. "I think there are aspects to college education that you can't get online. I also believe the core of higher education is face-to-face teaching, access to library resources, and other things that aren't online," said Stacey Townsend, a junior from Madison.
Others agree. "Personally, I hate to even think about all the x-rated e-mail that would be unleashed on someone from Kansas who enrolled as an online student and was put into the USM computer system. I can't imagine how they could get their assignments done and sent back on time [to USM] after wading through all of the penis enlargement ads we get now," stated Omar James, a senior from Quitman. "I think 'Shaq' made the right choice. He'll be fine," James concluded.
Satire alert hardly needed this time. This was truly funny. You are good.
Satire it is, and brilliantly executed. However, for those who don't monitor the sports pages, Shaquille O'Neal did earn an undergraduate degree in business from LSU in 2000, eight years after leaving school for the NBA. And, he did just receive an MBA from the University of Phoenix. While this is ripe material for poking fun at Thames and Lassen, I have to say that my hat's off to Mr. O'Neal for keeping his eye on the prize and completing his education. In the current pro-sports atmosphere of glamour, money, and drugs, O'Neal from all accounts is one of the few real role models out there. Good for you, Shaq.