A report from the de Guerre home - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: May 15, 2005

A report from the de Guerre home

Date: May 15, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
" I wonder if she left any champagne open. I'm sure Agnes could use a glass, and I know I could too."

When the chats away the souris will play.

Date: May 15, 2005

All Mlle de Guerre's employees are welcome to whatever is in the house, food or beverage. I personally drink very little. Tonight was extremely stressful, but I wouldn't open a new bottle on that account. Really.

H.A.

Date: May 16, 2005

I hope all the good news I'm receiving this morning is a harbinger of the things to come the rest of the week.
First, Mlle. de Guerre called late last night, having safely arrived at the country house. I was most relieved to know that she was only pulled over once or twice, and after the second time, the "dear young officer" followed her to the end of her drive to ensure her safe arrival. She made some comment about "talking to the dear judge" so I assume she was given a ticket. Most likely there will not be an actual fine (there seldom is.)

In the second good news, I received a whole batch of resumes for the open chauffeur position. Note to applicants: it really is not necessary to send the entire vita. While your latest research will make for interesting conversation when you're driving Mlle., for the moment I need to know whether you can actually drive our vehicles. However, rest assured that Mlle. is a well-educated person of wide interests, and I have no doubt will be fascinated by a study of the migratory habits of whatever that animal was.

In fact, I was amazed at the range of the applications. Name your field of academic endeavor, somebody at USM is leaving a teaching job in it. One can only surmise that they have decided it's better to work for a benevolent and attractive despot than the other sort. A word of caution: the salary here is modest to say the least, although the working conditions are friendly if erratic, and there is always something delicious in the fridge. I will be calling you for interviews later in the week.

Sincerely,

Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

Date: May 16, 2005

Just a late follow-up from Mlle. de Guerre. As I feared, she did not pack very carefully, and in fact forgot the laptop and so is incommunicado except for the telephone. It's one of those dialing ones we all remember from our youth, but it suffices for the country house. Also, apparently she failed to pack appropriate clothing, and seems to have a number of shoes with no mates, and little to wear except lingerie. So she has spent the day as she calls it, "en deshabille" (forgive my lack of French) -- it does sound better than "in her nightdress" As some native Southerners have been heard to express it, "draggin' around in her gown tails." Ah the South, such colorful if sometimes incomphrehensible speech.
At any rate, she was able to resolve the little legal situation from her hurried trip last night. It seems she wasn't speeding, but was driving in what she calls "the lane tres gauche'" -- the far right lane. I've explained several times that this is not actually a LANE, but a shoulder, but to no avail. It turns out that the judge was a former gentleman caller, and was able to give a kindly remonstrance over the phone. Maybe she'll believe him.
Mlle was delighted to learn of the many applicants for the vacant chauffeur position. The applications continued to pour in through the day. It may take more than this week to begin arranging interviews. Late in the day an influx of resumes from the custodial staff on the Gulf Coast began, followed by the entire faculty of the . . .oh, perhaps I should not reveal the department. Their chair would be a leading candidate, but I am unsure about the requisite mechanical aptitude.
This is quite the most interest we have ever had in one of our staff positions. I do hope the campus can return to normal someday. While Mlle appreciates having highly literate staff around the house, she feels that such people should be hard at work in the real world of educating our young people. Besides, it is slightly risky to have your breakfast cooked by someone who is reading Keynes while they stir the porridge.

Good evening to all.

Sincerely,
Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

PS. If anyone finds a pink satin slipper (with feathers) along Hwy 11, please let me know.

Date: May 17, 2005

H.A,

Thibodeaux and I are planin on applyin for positions on Mlle. de Guerre's staff. Can you tell us how many positions are open? We are sending pictures of us cause we think dat will be the decidin factor. Me, I'm not too bad lookin, but dat Thibodeaux, Wooo Wee he be some good lookin yea. When Mlle. de Guerre look at dat picture, she hire him dat for sure. Maybe he won't even hafta work. Dats why dey will need me. Won't dat be fun you and I on de same staff.

Date: May 17, 2005

Mr. Boudreaux,
I will be scheduling interviews soon. We'll let you know. Don't call us, etc.
In the meantime, I find that I must go down to the country house this morning to deliver some appropriate clothing, matching shoes, and a fresh supply of champagne. I will be back . . . later. If another opportunity presents itself to you, please don't hesitate to take it.

Sincerely,
H.A.

Date: May 17, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
"Mr. Boudreaux, I will be scheduling interviews soon. We'll let you know. Don't call us, etc. In the meantime, I find that I must go down to the country house this morning to deliver some appropriate clothing, matching shoes, and a fresh supply of champagne. I will be back . . . later. If another opportunity presents itself to you, please don't hesitate to take it. Sincerely, H.A."

Tanks for dat kind reply. Dat der country house, would it be in der bayou country, no? Cause Thibodreux and I could work der real easy like. Wes could take care of der old lad...errr...Mlle.de Guerre for ya and you could stay in der city. We assumin she has the vette wit her down der. Oh, oh, Thibodeaux just reminded me bout dat der attack poodle. If dat Dervish down der, forget it.