nce again, the Ad Hoc Emergency Committee met, looked at the Dusty Archive of nom-inations, assigned Invictus to develop The Algorithm to Count the names & then dove straight into the dewberry brandy. We gave a party but nobody came, so we had no choice but to drain the bottle ourselves! And once again, Miss Information assumed responsibility for Tellin' the tale, despite Vic's warning to Mal that You can't trust anybody over 30. Admittedly, a few of this week's aliases were Noms for Dums (or at least noms posted by dums), but What's in a name? anyway? Well, we had a real cross fertilization of ideas, especially after the dewberry juice was about half gone. So here goes... (Hope you have your Sea legs, because this is gonna be a wobbly ride on a stream of unconsciousness.)
The week started out with a wild bit of "cross" cross-posting from EagleTalk that left almost everyone Toying with an idea that involved domes & high-powered rifles. No doubt, the Shelboids wish that guy had been Struck Dumb (or at least hadn't acted so dumb). Perhaps stockbrokers have a Latent talent for idotcy. Well, Toy's Story reminds everyone that Anybody, Anything, Any Foundation is judged by The company we keep. Shelby is probably asking, "Where's my toy boy?" & we have to wonder what calibre the "toy" is, boy. Regardless, the Foundation president probably wishes he'd remained a lurker instead of practicing Equal Opportunity for Zealots.

In equally big news, the incomparable PR director decided to take a new job rather than remain entangled in this one, so we think it's true that This Southern Mess Mader Get Outta Here. When one floats around on a Hot air balloon, one never knows for sure where one will land. Her excuse will always be that He made her talk. Now that she's going into health care, will it be a Large Animal Clinic or an Exotic Animal Clinic?

Maybe Hub Gulch really is the Center of the universe. Whether that explains all Split personalities with respect to the university, is another question. It could be that everyone is simply a Local Yokel. It's pretty tough being a MiddleRoader around these parts. The Thames administration may be trying to fight a War of attrition or it may simply be saying, "Watt me worry?" while it shoots off its wurl' class toes with a Toy rifle. Do Ducks got toes? Will this reduce Shelby to lame-duckitude? We won't know unless he takes off the Shiny Slippers & runs around Barefoot.

The Queen of the Nerds put the Nerd herder in his/her/its place & Jubilee Cornpone (who the Committee assumes is Jubilation's sister) made an appearance this week, helping the Farmer's wife chase a Blind Mouse. Like USM administrators, See how they run! Now, we know that Tennyson didn't write that poem, but how many folks can recite "The Charge of the Heavy Brigade at Balaclava" anyway?

USM's new football Draft Pick should make for a real "killer" team on the gridiron next fall. Maybe the Athletic Department has decided its role is to serve as a Warning to others. So Don't touch that dial next season -- there's no telling if USM football will be featured on CSI. At least, that's the Word on the Street Man.

Not forgetting JE, accreditation got its due share of board discussions this week. Maybe folks think they should be Crossing Hardy Street to SACS 'n Save, but Ye too shall know the truth & the truth is anybody who thinks that the probation means "savings" has their Head in a SACS. Don't do the work, though & you'll see the folks in Decatur, Georgia, SAC it to me. SACS isn't The Gift Horse & if you look in its mouth, you're gonna see some mighty big teeth, grandma.

Lest we forget, USM is an educational institution & not Pork Barrels R Us. Is it here to pour enlightenment into people's heads or Vacuum the cash out of their wallets? Is it Mind over Money or the other way 'round? Point-Counterpoint! The only folks who really "follow the $" are in the administration. Just ask Call center Katie for the deep skinny on this. All 4-letter words ain't dirty, regardless of what Miss Information thinks. And Grey and Blue is part of the history books (besides being the school colors at the University Formerly Known as Memphis State). We can dance around that issue until Fred Astaire comes home, but poison is poison. Pick yours. Are we facing another Silent Spring Eagle? If it's IHL board silence you're asking about, the answer is, "Probably."

Meanwhile, The Tupelo Mississippi Flash dropped by with some hot news. Whether this was HD's Guardian Angel (and whether "HD" stands for "Harold Doty," "heavy duty," or "Harley-Davidson") is unknown, but folks are still asking, "Who is that masked man?" (or masked woman, as the case may be). Half the faculty seems to have said, "Later Tater," & is now Rompin' in Arizona.

This week's People's Choice Nom d'Aplomb Award winner was the first nom-ination of the week & asks that old '60s question, "Are you On the bus?" And whether you're faculty, staff, a board member, an alumnus, or a South Mississippian at large, you need to answer that question. Soon. The lucky winner may pick up his/her/its prestigious certificate at the equally legendary usual place.