Mlle de Guerre's Academic Career - USM Forum -- Message Board

Date: Apr 29, 2005

Mlle de Guerre's Academic Career

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
"While I try not to let Mlle de Guerre read the board this early in the day, I was called away to the telepone and she got to the computer before her second cup of cafe' au lait. Never a good thing. She saw the post reminding us of Dr. Dvorak's tearful "end of my academic career" speech, and dear, dear, me. It was not a pleasant few minutes. You know, board friends, so much has happened in the past months, we do tend to forget even some memorable moments. Mlle de Guerre decided to compare her own "academic career" to Dr. Dvorak's. It was an interesting exercise. We must keep in mind that Mlle de Guerre has never actually claimed to have had an academic career, an important distinction. However, we were startled to discover that Mlle has actually published more than Dr. Dvorak! There was a tense discussion over several items. We weren't sure whether to include her articles in Journal of the American Attack Poodle as it has a rather limited readership. However, we used the well-known principles of "do they print more than one copy?" and "does anyone pay money for those copies?" and included those. There are also some short pieces of fiction and poetry, but these appear in a regional writer's journal with fairly generous standards. We did exclude letters to the editor, as that opens the door to all sorts of other people claiming to have academic careers, and we don't want to be responsible what would happen then. All in all, after we made a few minor adjustments in margins, it was clear that in fact, Mlle de Guerre has published more than Dr. Dvorak. I'm not sure what this means for the future of academia. It was certainly a sobering thought for me. Good day to you all. Sincerely, Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre"

You two ladies sure do talk sumthin like the people down where I'm from. Do y'all get out social much? I sure would like to buy you and Mlle de Guerre some time. I sure Mlle de Guerre would enjoy some male companionship. Just one thing, Honey, please leave that attack poodle at home.

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Boudreaux
"You two ladies sure do talk sumthin like the people down where I'm from. Do y'all get out social much? I sure would like to buy you and Mlle de Guerre some time. I sure Mlle de Guerre would enjoy some male companionship. Just one thing, Honey, please leave that attack poodle at home. "

Oops, that should be "I sure would like to buy you and Mlle de Guerre a beer some time." Please don't take offence with my mistake. The beer offer is still good.

Date: Apr 29, 2005

Thank you for your kind invitation, M. Boudreaux. Generally Mlle de Guerre prefers coffee or champagne to beer, and I do not accompany her on social outings with gentlemen. She needs a little supervision, but not that much.

I maintain the social calendar. You may reach me through the usual channel of communication for this board.

Sincerely,

Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

PS how are your automotive skills??

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
"...PS how are your automotive skills??"

Well, that depends. Front seat or back?

Boudreaux

Date: Apr 29, 2005

M. Boudreaux, you have quite a wit. However, this would be an opportune time for me to review the Rules of Conduct for Mlle de Guerre's gentlemen friends. Remember, she is the product of a kinder, gentler age, when ladies were treated with reverence and respect (we won't dwell on that salary thing.)

-When you escort Mlle de Guerre out for the evening, you will arrive at chez de Guerre on time. This will give you an opportunity to chat with the staff and be inspected by Dervish. Dervish has very good instincts and very sharp teeth. If Mlle suddenly develops a terrible headache and can't go, you'll know we didn't like you. Leave quietly.
-You will be appropriately dressed. Mlle de Guerre has bowed to "the times" and no longer considers evening dress a requirement. However, socks are absolutely a must. If you are dating her, you are too old for those shoes with no socks. Likewise your shirt should be tucked in. Ties are not mandatory in the summer, although she does love the Southern seersucker suits. Just don't have the attitudes that sometimes accompany one.
- You should expect to open doors, including the car door. Hold Mlle de Guerre's chair at the restaurant, and be sure she gets the menu with no prices showing. At the end of the evening, you escort Mlle to her door, but do not expect to be invited in. If at some future time you are invited in for coffee (decaf) remember that Dervish will be on duty.
- You should expect to pay. If you cannot pay, you should not be dating Mlle. After several successful evenings, you will be asked to dinner at the house. It will be a very good dinner.
- You should plan to listen attentively and agree with what you hear. Mlle has very strong ideas and brooks little disagreement. She is usually right, so pay attention. At some future time, it will be your turn to speak. Mlle will probably not agree with anything you say, but if you're nice she'll let you by with your "lame" opinions.
- Flowers the next day are highly recommended. Not red roses (too ordinary.) Orchids, perhaps, or some cream tulips.

Follow these simple guidelines and you should have quite a nice time. Most gentlemen have survived the experience, except for the one who thought the drive-in movie was a good idea. You don't want to know what happened to HIM.

Good luck, and may God have mer. . , err, bless you.

Sincerely,

Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretery to Monique de Guerre

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
"M. Boudreaux, you have quite a wit. However, this would be an opportune time for me to review the Rules of Conduct for Mlle de Guerre's gentlemen friends. Remember, she is the product of a kinder, gentler age, when ladies were treated with reverence and respect (we won't dwell on that salary thing.) -When you escort Mlle de Guerre out for the evening, you will arrive at chez de Guerre on time. This will give you an opportunity to chat with the staff and be inspected by Dervish. Dervish has very good instincts and very sharp teeth. If Mlle suddenly develops a terrible headache and can't go, you'll know we didn't like you. Leave quietly. -You will be appropriately dressed. Mlle de Guerre has bowed to "the times" and no longer considers evening dress a requirement. However, socks are absolutely a must. If you are dating her, you are too old for those shoes with no socks. Likewise your shirt should be tucked in. Ties are not mandatory in the summer, although she does love the Southern seersucker suits. Just don't have the attitudes that sometimes accompany one. - You should expect to open doors, including the car door. Hold Mlle de Guerre's chair at the restaurant, and be sure she gets the menu with no prices showing. At the end of the evening, you escort Mlle to her door, but do not expect to be invited in. If at some future time you are invited in for coffee (decaf) remember that Dervish will be on duty. - You should expect to pay. If you cannot pay, you should not be dating Mlle. After several successful evenings, you will be asked to dinner at the house. It will be a very good dinner. - You should plan to listen attentively and agree with what you hear. Mlle has very strong ideas and brooks little disagreement. She is usually right, so pay attention. At some future time, it will be your turn to speak. Mlle will probably not agree with anything you say, but if you're nice she'll let you by with your "lame" opinions. - Flowers the next day are highly recommended. Not red roses (too ordinary.) Orchids, perhaps, or some cream tulips. Follow these simple guidelines and you should have quite a nice time. Most gentlemen have survived the experience, except for the one who thought the drive-in movie was a good idea. You don't want to know what happened to HIM. Good luck, and may God have mer. . , err, bless you. Sincerely, Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretery to Monique de Guerre"

Hermione, (I hope you don’t mind me callin ya Hermione) I can see from your post that I gota undergo quite a preparation for an evening with Mlle de Guerre.

I always wear red socks with my white boots cause they match my red suspenders. Ya gotta tuck in ya shirt when ya wear suspenders . So no problem wit dat. I don’t got no seersucker suit, but I did once buy a suit from a sucker at Sears. (A little wit for ya.)

Dey tole me my manners are excellent. For example, you don’t have to worry bout me opening the door to my truck for Mlle de Guerre cause ma truck don’t have doors. Maybe we could take Mlle de Guerre’s Vette.

Now concernin the restaurant I see I will have a problem with the menu. Ya can’t help seein the prices at the drive thru. At least we won’t have problems with the chair.

I will have to think bout dis sum more. I preciate what ya did, but I’m a thinkin Mlle de Guerre may not be my type. Please don’t be telling her dat. I want to let her down easy like.

Boudreaux

Date: Apr 29, 2005

Well, M. Boudreaux, that was Mlle and HER rules. I, on the other hand, would kill for a big table covered in newspaper and mounds of hot crawfish-- I'd even pretend to drink a beer if the crawfish were good enough.
Don't tell Mlle. We all have our little wild side.

tout alors,

H.A.

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: H.A.
"We all have our little wild side."

Yes we do.

Date: Apr 29, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: H.A.
"Well, M. Boudreaux, that was Mlle and HER rules. I, on the other hand, would kill for a big table covered in newspaper and mounds of hot crawfish-- I'd even pretend to drink a beer if the crawfish were good enough. Don't tell Mlle. We all have our little wild side. tout alors, H.A."

D*mn Hermione, you do sound like my kind of lady. When can you get off work? Do ya think Mlle de Guerre will let us use her Vette? Maybe after she retires for the night? OooWe you sound exciting Cher. How do ya say,"Let da good times roll?" Would ya rather wine with dem crawfish?

Boudreaux

Date: Apr 29, 2005

Appropriate my employer's automobile? I think not.

Good evening to you, M. Boudreaux. I think neither I nor Mlle de Guerre are your cup of tea, as we say in my homeland.

However, you do seem to have the right sort of principles to participate in the current administration. I'll be happy to write a recommendation for you.

Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre

Date: Apr 30, 2005

quote:
Originally posted by: Hermione Angleterre
".... Good evening to you, M. Boudreaux. I think neither I nor Mlle de Guerre are your cup of tea, as we say in my homeland. However, you do seem to have the right sort of principles to participate in the current administration. I'll be happy to write a recommendation for you. Hermione Angleterre, Social Secretary to Monique de Guerre"

I agree, Hermione. I think our French is separated by too many centuries. I enjoyed dat chat. I preciate your offer to write a recommendation, but I have my standards. I rather keep my present position as garbage collector rather than work for SFT.

Best whishes to you, Mlle de Guerre and Dervish.

Boudreaux