Dear President Thames,

Thank you very much for your application for the presidency of The University of Southwestern East St. Louis ("The Little University that Could"*).  I regret to inform you that after consultation with the full faculty (and all five made sure they were present at the meeting) and the full student body (and I am proud to report that all 17 were there), we have decided not to pursue your candidacy any further.  Your presentation did make a great impression (one of the students said she didn't realize a 69-year-old man could shout that loud, not to mention leap that quickly onto a table), but we have decided that there is just not the right "fit" in this instance.  However, I have been asked by the head of our Cosmetology Department to thank you for the sample "American Pride" fingernail polish you left for us.

With best wishes as your pursue your job search,

Fred Kaznoznich, President, Board of Trustees, USWESL

*Full Slogan: "The Little University that Could.  The One in the Old Drug Store Located Next to the New McDonald's Just Off of Exit 42 of Interstate 35."