Last night I paid someone the undeserved courtesy of referring to him as a "gentleman." Since then, I have been pondering the question -- who is, or is not, a gentleman? I do my deepest pondering in the bath with many bubbles, with a glass with many bubbles, but I hope my conclusions are not "bubbly" -- here are my thoughts, and as you so amusingly say, "if the shoe fits"

-- a gentleman thinks of the needs and feelings of other people as well as his own

-- a gentleman honors his marriage vows and does not humiliate his wife by his behavior (an unmarried gentleman is discreet and kind in his dealings with ladies)

-- a gentleman is honest in his work and looks for the greater good

-- a gentleman looks at both sides of a question, but is firm in defense of principle

These are a few of my criteria. Of course, I have a personal, secondary list of my own, which includes such items as sending flowers and chocolate, opening the car door (unless there is a driver, as is sometimes the case) and not calling on the telephone before eleven. (One must have the cafe au lait to be charming on the telephone.) It would not hurt a gentleman to be personally acquainted with the maitre d at Commander's.