What a week! No Maybe to It Anymore, I'm Amazed!

Depending on one's point-of-view, it's either The Friggin' Happiness Fairy or the Spectre of evil that's appeared suddenly in the skies over the Dome. And while the basketball team continues to be Flushed down the Eustachian tube, it's beginning to look like Crunch Time for the Dome Gnome. He may be Painted in the Corner with his neck on the Chopping Block this time.

A "Black Friday" memo made it look like we had COB on a hot gold dome & brought more than a few Sad CoBers to the forum. Some thought the Domeoids were about to Stick Me With A Corn COB. Well, the Dome would like to remind you that Silence is Golden, Eagles. But a Dean decided that if he was going out, he was Going out with a BANG & the fireworks commenced. This could be a real Celebrity Deathmatch. Like Woodward & Bernstein, the message board has its Deep Throats this week, leaking the memos as they materialized. We'll never know everyone's motive in the events of this week, but a Personality Profiler could develop some pretty solid theories.

With the upper administration acting like Positively Preschoolers, Miss Lisa is AWOL trying to find a new job with PR managers inc & the Provost is apparently angling to return to swimming with the fishes. Maybe the safest thing to be at USM (for once!) is "Just Faculty".

It may be true that eventually distance learning will be simply another Efficient delivery system & Adam Smith's Abacus' Placement might predict it could become a "lucrative profit center." But right now SACS has put some seriously Negative incentives in the way. A particular Dean's objection to rolling out an online degree program Rings true at the moment. The idea shouldn't be thrown in File 13, but it needs to go on the back burner for a while. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet & a "hybrid" program is still distance learning. If a certain Provost had remembered that Patience Is A Virtue & that while Rome wasn't built in a day, it burned in a night, he might not have found himself Buffaloed Instead, he appears to have become a Titanic Deck Chair Attendant or the Captain of the Graf Zeppelin. [Note: Miss Information, who is old enough to remember such things, believes this poster intended to be the Captain of the Hindenburg, but oh well...]


Maybe a New England Yankee has to wait until the Nat'l Hurricane Center issues a warning, but right now "you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

Like Colonel Cargill, Gen. Peckem’s Troubleshooter stopped by this week, but the trouble had already shot. The consensus on this board seems to be that it's time for the Dome Housekeeping Dept. (IHL) to get to work giving the people of Mississippi "a day's work for a day's pay." It's time to stop the insanity. Crack out the All purpose bug spray. Too many good faculty are gone Return Address Unknown. It's past the point of needing a Band-Aid. What's required now is a Tourniquet.

To the IHL Board: PTR - Please Thames Remove! Send him to the Dark Side of the Moon (or at least back to the paint factory)! Trustees may hear only who they want to hear, but they should bear in mind that the people who want USM released from bondage can now say, "My name is Legion". Let USM be a university again instead of an Old Curiosity Shop. Students should come here for the "right" reasons & not because of some Attention Kmart shoppers sales pitch.

Of course, some folks think this is still just a tempestuous teapot. It's still a matter of a bunch of Lazy and worthless professors obstructing progress. Everything they say We are we are & all that jazz. That faction, BTW, tends to post on EagleTalk, so if you're part of it, you'll probably be happier there. Oh Please...

Hopefully soon, we can turn our attention to more mundane things, like getting the paperwork over to H&R Block so we can render unto Caesar. Until then, remember We'll laugh when it's over.

Southern Will Rise Again!

Well, those are the nom-inations this week. And now for the weekly winner, an alias that pretty much sums up how anybody who has the slightest interest in the University of Southern Mississippi, whether they be pro-Shelby or again', felt this week: Shaken and Stirred. The suitable for framing & resumé padding certificate is available at the usual location.