you might be a little, redneck university if.....

most of the applicants for openings in high-level central administration positions at your institution apply in person......

your administration believes that posting a few new hot links on its webpage are sufficient responses to a probation penalty from SACS....

your President is scolded by a member of your governing Board about SACS probation and can only muster a "Yes ma'am"...

bumper stickers supporting the impeachment of your President are on vehicles all over town.....

your President tells local newspapers that administrators and faculty who depart for other institutions are just missionaries spreading the word about you to others around the world....

your Public Relations chief drapes a shroud over a multi-story dormitory without consulting anyone about it, and when the hundreds of young co-eds she's endangered and inconvenienced speak up about it she all but states to the media that she thinks they are "high maintenance little bitches".....