You know you've at the wrong university if . . . . .

1. The university's snack bar designates Tuesdays as "Ladies Night."

2. You enter the university bookstore and find shotgun racks in lieu of convenience lockers to use while shopping.

3. The postmaster tells you that the P.O. Box you rented specifies an RFD mailing address.

4. The entrance to your designated parking lot has this sign: "PICKUP TRUCKS ONLY. OTHERS WILL BE TOWED."

5. The campus security officers smoke big cigars and wear large white hats.

6.  Saturday night on-campus movies are limited to old Republic Pictures' Durango Kid reruns.

7.  The admissions office waiting room contains only issues of Deer Hunting Digest.

8.  The admissions application form requires your fishing license number instead of social security number

9.  The bumper stiker on your dean's Chevy pickup bumper reads "I LOVE CATS. THEY ARE DELICIOUS."

10. All press releases describe every aspect of the university as "wurl' class."