The Boss Day Blackout.

BOSSES.

They make more money than you do. They have better benefits packages. They enjoy greater job security than you could ever hope to know.

And just in case you hadn't been paying attention, they also have a holiday coming up one month from now. October 16th is National Boss Day - and make no mistake, despite any outward professions to the contrary, your boss DOES expect you to buy a gift, and the gift you choose WILL GREATLY AFFECT perceptions of you.

Fortunately for you - like a knight in shining armor stumbling upon a damsel in distress, then launching into a ready-made sales-pitch for his affordable suite of just-in-time rescue-services - Despair Inc. is there.

In honor of the plight of those of you scrambling to find an impactful gift for this ridiculously redundant and inherently sycophantic holiday, Despair.com will - for the final time this year - enter into BLACKOUT mode.

Beginning at precisely 12:01am CST Tuesday, September 14th, our website will become closed to the outside- so that we can invite our most loyal of Despair customers to a 24-hour discounting extravaganza inside a store replete with products perfectly suited for the widest-array of potential bosses*, including:

The Intimidating Jerk Boss:

http://www.despair.com/arrogance.html

The Vainglorious Empire Builder Boss:

http://www.despair.com/achievement.html

The "Family Friendly" Boss:

http://www.despair.com/nepotism.html

And Every Other Boss!

http://www.despair.com/flattery.html

But remember, only those using the username and password below will be able to take advantage of this exclusive sales initiative!

http://www.despair.com

username: BOSS

password: DAY

For the duration of the BLACKOUT:

All Demotivator(R) Lithographs will sell for $9.95, instead of $15.95!

All 12-card Notecard packs will sell for $12.95, instead of $16.95!

All Desktoppers will sell for $12.95, instead of $15.95!

But there's more.

When your order total is greater than $19.95, we'll throw a FREE PESSIMIST'S MUG!

When your order total is greater than $29.95, we'll ALSO throw a FREE "MEETINGS" STICKYPAD!

Yet that's still not all!

In the face of unending phone and email requests, we've added still another design to our lithograph collections- last year's crushing contemplation of the perils of pursuing "DREAMS" ( http://www.despair.com/dreams.html ).

Any order containing at least one lithograph will receive a FREE copy of this beautiful, brand new lithograph absolutely free!

As your coworkers prove themselves thoughtless-fools by forgetting the holiday, or insipid toadies by purchasing motivational plaques or gift baskets that reek of cheese and sausage, why not do the smart thing and invest in a little job security with a gift that tells your boss that you're not a fool (though you might be), you're not cheap (though you certainly are), and you're not afraid to tell it like it is (though if you really could, you'd tell your boss you think of this idiotic and demeaning holiday)?

See you Tuesday!

http://www.despair.com

Despair Inc.

1305 E. 6th Street

Austin, TX 78702

* Despair Inc. is not liable for job losses or negative performance evaluations that may result from the giving of our products to superiors.